Sunday, December 4, 2022

Week 49: Yen & Yoke



 Fun Activity This Week: Plan a yummy outing full of your favorite foods.  Have a BBQ and/or picnic, even if it’s in your own backyard.  Too cold to enjoy the great outdoors, then set up a picnic atmosphere in the kitchen or living room complete with paper plates, plastic ware, and other items you would bring to a park for a yummy feast (if you can afford them, if not, it really doesn’t matter).  You could even throw a blanket on the bedroom or living room floor and eat in there just for different! However you choose to spend your yummy treats day (it can even just be snacky foods), the point is just to enjoy time together.

Week 49:Yen & Yoke

Yen:  You should have a real yen (urge, desire, longing) to be with your spouse.  The need for independence in marriage causes real problems.  It can lead to feeling isolated from your mate and can even lead to an affair.  There is never any excuse for cheating, so if you feel this way, then please talk things out with your honey.  

It is important to give your spouse room to breathe and not interfere with appropriate friendships and hobbies as long as he/she is not choosing them over you.  However, with that said, striving to be too independent from your spouse is not healthy.  The world and even several Christian marriage ministries say we need to be individuals in our marriages, and we should not be clingy to our mates.  Yes, we are individuals and Mel and I fully respect that concept, but we are one flesh, and we hate being separated from one another.  If we are apart for more than an hour or less, we miss each other.  This is actually a healthier way to be and needing to be near your soulmate is more beneficial than the need to be away from him/her.

I hope you have a sincere yen to want to be with your mate.  If you both have the same hours free, why would you spend those separated?  Why would you not spend time playing games, have a Bible study together, or have intimate time when you are both available?  You can spend time with friends and hobbies as well, but the majority of your time should be devoted to the one you chose to marry.  Your number one desire should be for your mate, not for your buddies or hobbies.  

My beloved put his hand by the latch of the door, and my heart yearned for him.  Song of Solomon 5:4

Yoke:   II Corinthians 6:14 tells us not to be “unequally yoked together with unbelievers,” but what if the unbeliever is your spouse?

I know I have used these verses in other chapters, but it is very fitting for this week’s theme as well:

Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed.  I Corinthians 7:10-16 & 27

Also consider:

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.  I Peter 3:1-2 (NIV)

If you are currently unequally yoked with an unbeliever, it is clear that the Lord does not expect you to get a divorce, but just the opposite.  Live your life by a good example, and you very well may lead your mate to Christ.  Do not be a nag when it comes to differing beliefs because that will just drive a deeper wedge between you.  Stand firm in your faith and do not compromise in your love for the Lord (one of the few areas I would suggest not practicing the art of compromise).   Most importantly, do not give up praying for him/her.  There have been many instances where the believer’s kindness and patience paid off, and their loved one eventually became a Christian as well.  Unless your partner is doing something immoral, illegal, or causing you and/or your children harm (in which cases, divorce is acceptable), stick to your wedding vows and follow the principles of the Bible to be type of spouse God wishes you to be.    

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Yen:  Show your mate that you have a real yen for him/her.  Send your mate a creative invitation for some spicy romance.  If your spouse works outside the home, consider mailing him the invitation to his/her job, but first make sure no one else (such as a secretary) opens the mail!  You could also slip it in a lunch bag or briefcase, but make sure he is the only one with access to these things.  If you leave first or if your mate stays at home, leave the invitation on a pillow when you leave the house.  You could buy a generic invitation and add your own words or:

Art Project Option: When you create your invitation for sex, make it seem like a special occasion, and be creative with it.  One of the best times to create an invitation is if it has been more than a week since your intimate time due to illness, time of the month, or other reasons, and you are both anticipating a time you can be closer again.  Make your invitation specific to the two of you and be as creative as you can to show your mate how much you yen for him/her! 

Yoke:  If you are unequally yoked with your mate, do not give up praying for him/her!  Continue to be a witness without being a self-righteous or judgmental nuisance that only pushes your loved one farther away from the things of God.  Also, if you have not done so in a while, consider inviting him/her to church this week, and/or offer to pray for your mate’s specific prayer requests (silently or out loud, it is up to you) to show your love and compassion for his/her needs.  If it would not cause dissention, consider hosting or leading a Bible study group at your home for a few weeks or months (even if it is for youth or a gender-specific group) as your mate may be more likely to attend (or at least overhear) what it being taught in the safety and privacy of his/her own home.

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Week 47 Short Video