The ABCs of a Joyful Marriage

Sunday, November 9, 2025

Week 45: Weapons of Warfare & Wise

Fun Activity This Week: Write love letters to one another listing all the wonderful qualities you adore. Read them aloud and do not rush through the romantic moments.

Week 45: Weapons of Warfare & Wise

Weapons of Warfare: Spiritual warfare is very real, and Satan would love to see all marriages fail. Stay equipped in the whole armor of God, and you can defeat your enemy against every attack!

I could write an entire book on this subject, but instead I will do my best to keep this brief. I have quickly summed up how the weapons of spiritual warfare can be applied to your marriage.

Belt of Truth: While being truthful is imperative, this is more about being armed with the Truths of God’s Word. The lies of the world and false preachers will harm your marriage. When Jesus was tempted by Satan in the wilderness (Luke 4:1-13), He was able to defeat His enemy and send him fleeing by quoting the Truth of scripture. When we keep this belt securely in place, we can also send the devil running.

Breastplate of Righteousness: When both husband and wife strive to live lives of righteousness (see 1 Corinthians 9:24-27), they are guaranteed a joyful marriage even when circumstances are difficult. The breastplate protects one’s heart and when you choose not to live according to the ways of the world, you protect the heart of your mate as well. When you give into sin, you give into Satan, but walking on the straight and narrow path of holy living keeps Jesus on your side.

To grant us that we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve Him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before Him all the days of our life. Luke 1:74-75

Shoes of Peace: Hebrews 12:14 perfectly sums up the way we should treat our mate, “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.” When we choose to actively chase after a peaceful life and existence, it is as important as striving for holiness. You will not see God nor share His eternal home if you choose to be argumentative, discordant, and bitter. Verse 15 adds, “looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.” Keep these shoes on all times and you will give no room for the Devil to interfere with your marriage.

Shield of Faith: Faith in God when life and/or marriage seems hopeless will help you keep a positive attitude even in the dark times. When you read the below passage in Ephesians 6, you will see verse 16 tells us that the shield is the most important and will literally keep Satan’s arrows from hitting His target: our marriages.

Hebrews 11:1 is sometimes difficult for me to put into practice. It states, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” I am overly logical. How can I trust what I cannot see? Lack of faith is doubtless the area I struggle most with in my walk with the Lord. But when I use my shield of faith, even when it is small, I can quiet the over-analytical side of my brain and focus on the promises of God. I can quench the darts of doubt Satan hurls at me and embrace the joys of my marriage that much more.

Helmet of Salvation: It is so difficult to write such a brief section on the Armor of God, but this one is particularly difficult for me to sum up in so short a space. Our salvation may begin when we say the “sinner’s prayer,” but it does not end there. Unless we follow the principles of Jesus, we could lose that salvation. We must guard our walk with the Lord until the day we die. Philippians 2:12 tells us we must, “work out [our] own salvation with fear and trembling,” which means our salvation is a continual work in progress. This is a long subject, but for further reading, you can read (at the least) Revelation chapters 2 & 3 for more clarity.

What it comes down to is the same concept as the Breastplate of Righteousness; we must daily choose to wear this helmet of right living in order to keep our marriages safely out of the enemy’s claws.

Sword of the Spirit: This Sword is the Word of God, and just as with the Belt, we can wield it at Satan’s ugly head by quoting scripture and being confident of its Truths. Psalm 119:11 reminds us that when we keep God’s “Word… hidden in [our] heart,” it will inspire and encourage us “not [to] sin against” God. The principles of the Bible will protect our marriage as well as any sword ever protected any brave knight!

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit. Ephesians 6:11-18

Wise: We are to be "wise as serpents and harmless as doves" (Matthew 10:16). It is wisdom to protect our marriages in such a manner. This means we are to treat everyone with kindness and gentleness but be careful whom we allow into our lives. Mel and I both try to be kind to everyone wherever we go, but that does not mean we are going to let just anyone into a close relationship. It is very possible to show the love of God to people and have a good relationship with them without visiting each other's homes or being friends with them outside of church or work.

As I mentioned above, spiritual warfare is real, and the enemy will try to send people into your lives to try to interfere with and possibly even destroy your marriage. Pray for wisdom and discernment whenever considering making new friends that you plan to socialize with on a regular basis. Ask God to block people from your lives that could be harmful, and you will find things being revealed in their character that you may have never expected was there. It is okay to see less of people and even completely weed people out of your lives if you feel they are a threat in any way. And listen to your spouse's warnings to you if he/she feels a certain person needs to be released from your lives.

I hope this concept does not sound too harsh, but it is a Biblical principle. Using wisdom with people you allow to get close to you could even save your marriage. If you feel a check in your spirit and someone makes you feel uncomfortable, trust your instincts as this very well may be a warning from God. Be friendly, but do not allow these people to get too involved in your lives. In other words, you do not have to reveal very much personal information. You do not have to socialize with people you feel have immoral lifestyles. You can witness to them as they allow, but do not spend a lot of time with those you feel may try to corrupt your morals, or who will expect you to accept their immoral behaviors but continually make fun of yours. It is far better to keep the peace from a distance (over the phone or Internet) than continually cause friction and hard feelings up close (in person).

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people. Therefore Come out from among them And be separate,” says the Lord. “Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you." II Corinthians 6:14-17

It is wisdom to realize that there are some people which you may need to let go. When we allow people with poisonous personality traits or ungodly beliefs in our lives, we are asking for trouble. These people already have open doors they have allowed Satan to walk through, and he very well may connect us to them and begin to harass us. This is not my concept, read the above verses as well as, “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.” Proverbs 22:24-25 & “Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits. Awake to righteousness, and do not sin.” 1 Corinthians 15:33-34

You may meet a seemingly nice person who just happens to be into Wicca. Make no mistake, there is nothing innocent or nice about witchcraft; just being around this person can invite the demons attached to her to follow you home and oppress you and therefore cause chaos in your marriage. “For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light.” 2 Corinthians 11:14 We are to treat everyone with kindness and respect, but when we willingly let a person involved in Satanism in our lives, we are mixing dark and light when they are clearly meant to be separated.

Use the utmost wisdom when choosing friends if not for your own sake, then for the sake of your marriage!

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:

Weapons of Warfare: Art Project Idea: Create an armor based on the above listed weapons of spiritual warfare. There are a variety of ways you can do this: Draw pictures of yourselves dressed in armor or use photographs and Photoshop armor onto the both of you. You could draw just the armor itself or print the pictures off the Internet. Whichever you choose, be certain to label each piece of armor such as “Helmet of Salvation,” “Breastplate of Righteousness,” etc. and include the scripture reference of Ephesians 6:11-18 or include all the words from those scriptures. Frame it if you so choose, but at least display it where you can both be reminded that God is on your side. You can also do a spiritual check each time you look at the picture and ask yourself if you are lacking any weapons of warfare. If so, pray for God to help you put them on.

Note: You can be creative with the armor. In my Bible journal, I drew the weapons in western style. For the helmet I used a cowboy hat, the breastplate was a vest, the shoes of peace cowboy boots, the sword of the spirit a gun, shield of faith a sheriff’s badge, and the belt a western belt with buckle. In other words, you can use any type of "armor" you so choose as long as it fits the scripture reference.

Wise: Check in with each other this week and ask for honest opinions on all the people you allow access to your lives. Allow the other to be honest in voicing any concerns. Respect each other’s wisdom and spiritual instincts. Consider limiting access to those that cause red flags. Use wisdom in lowering the portcullis and keep the harmful people separated from you and your loved one.

Saturday, January 4, 2025

Week 53: The Number 13: 1 Corinthians 13

NOTE: While waiting for the new year to start so I can start again with the letter A, I thought I would reshare the few writings I did on the "123s of a Joyful Marriage," I will cover only the numbers 1, 2, 3, 7, & 13. (P.S. The number series was originally posted before Christmas, which is why the artwork is Christmas-themed.)

Fun Activity This Week: Instead of singing about the 12 things your true love gave to you for Christmas make a list of the 13 things you want to do for your spouse. I am not speaking of things that cost money, but you can add those if you choose (and you can add more than 13). I am suggesting writing a list as a sort of pledge such as, "Twice a week I will take over one of your household chores," or "I can get up half an hour earlier at least once day a week to have a Bible study with you." Or offer to do any helpful things for one another and stick with it all year! Other ideas are baking a favorite dessert once a month, take over carpool for a week, wear sexy lingerie once a month, give a back massage once a month, go for a walk together once a week, etc... If you are having difficultly coming up with ideas, then ask your mate where he/she could use some help.

Week 53: The Number 13: 1 Corinthians 13

This week is such an easy topic it practically writes itself. Well, actually the apostle Paul wrote it for us. After you read the verses on love, I suggest you also read Galatians 5 (also listed below) and note how very similar the fruits of the Spirit are to qualities of love listed in 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

I love all of 1 Corinthians 13, so I also suggest you read the entire chapter together. In fact (I think I mentioned this before) 1 Corinthians 13:12 is my favorite scripture verse.

As I stated, there really is nothing to add to Paul's description on love, it's pretty self-explanatory. I highly suggest memorizing this list, and when you are feeling anger or frustrated in your marriage, remind yourself of all the things that love is, and do your best to practice those ideals in your marriage!

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Galatians 5:22-23

Marriage-Enhancing Idea for the Week: Read the two lists above from 1 Corinthians and Galatians together. Honestly evaluate your actions in your marriage and confess to one another where you need help. Are you being patient, kind, envious, rude, trusting, etc.? If not, pray together to ask the Holy Spirit for help to improve, then do your best to reflect all that love is to one another from now on!

Art Project Idea: As I was finishing up a box of tissues this week, I realized that the beautiful pattern and sturdy cardboard on the box would be great for this week's art project. Or better yet, to start saving different beautiful patterns from an inexpensive boxes of tissues to make this project more colorful! Cut out hearts and write all the descriptions of love on them listed in I Corinthians 13. You can also add your own words. You can either tape them on the walls or refrigerator, punch holes in them and make a mobile out of them, make a mini book, or whatever you choose. Of course, you can choose any material for this project, just be creative and have fun!

Thursday, January 2, 2025

Week 53: The Number 7: Seven Abominations

Fun Activity This Week: Choose 7 bible verses this week to memorize. I know that sounds like a lot, but they can be short verses such as John 11:35, which is only two words, "Jesus wept." But make sure you focus on the significance of those words and don't just choose them because they are brief. Since all my activity suggestions are to be done as a couple, you can split the 7 verses so you do not both have to learn all 7. I realize this means one of you will have to memorize 4 verses and the other 3, but I'm sure you can find a way to make that work for you! At the end of the week, recite your verses to one another and discuss why you chose those verses. Do so over coffee or tea and an optional dessert.

Week 56: Seven Abominations

I realize I last left off with the number 3, but I am jumping ahead to focus on subject matter that better fits the issues I believe are important.

Although this was written for a marriage blog, these issues can be applied to anyone married or single.

(Proverbs 6:16-19 & 27-28) These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

I am not sure why Solomon (who wrote Proverbs) writes, "six," then "seven," but there are 7 items listed. All of these issues can absolutely apply to marriage (or even to non-married relationships). Let me briefly break them down.

To be technical, the word "abomination" is listed in Proverbs 20 times. Some of the same issues listed below are repeated as well as saying God hates things such as a false balance (Proverbs 11:1), the sacrifice and ways of the wicked (Proverbs 15:8-9), he that justifies the wicked (Proverbs 20:10), etc. There are more items in the Bible than listed in Proverbs that God hates as well (see also Galatians 5:19-21 & Revelation 21:7-8), but for the sake of this writing, I will narrow it down to just Proverbs 6:16-19.

A proud look: How often have you acted superior to your mate in a prideful manner? You may even have made fun of the other when you think he/she is wrong and laughed and ridiculed the other when you were proved right. Next time you are tempted to act this way, remember how much God hates pride. Psalm 51:17 says that the Lord will never despise a broken and contrite heart. It is essential to your walk with the Lord to be humble before Him, but also vital to your marriage to be gentle with one another. Do not ever think yourself better than others (see Philippians 2:3), and that includes your spouse. As I always say, yes, the husband is the head of the home, but you are equal partners in every way. Remember to act in love the next time you have a disagreement and know that God hates pride.

A lying tongue & a false witness who speaks lies: I'm including these together because they are both reminding us to always be honest. The second part of that statement probably also has to do with making up stories about another person as well as lying about something. So do not lie to your mate, and do not lie about him or her either. Even exaggerating good qualities is the same as lying. God does not want us to lie even if we are falsely trying to build up someone else's reputation (especially your own). Honesty is absolutely always the best policy.

Hands that shed innocent blood: Murder is not the only way to shed blood. Physical abuse can also bring such harm. You do not have to put up with an abusive spouse (even in blood isn't technically shed, but any form of violence still occurs)! It is not wrong to send him/her to jail. If they adamantly refuse to get help, I do not believe divorce is wrong in such a case. Also, do not keep silent when someone else is the victim, related or not. God expects us to speak up for the innocent, and I will even add that this includes violence towards animals as they are also God's creation.

A heart that devises wicked plans: Notice that one does not even have to carry out wicked plans but just dreaming them up is an abomination to God. The Lord knows all your thoughts and if you are considering harming someone or breaking the law, you will be held accountable for your thoughts. Matthew 5:28 says we commit adultery just by thinking about having sex with someone not our spouse. Proverbs 23:7 says that we are what we think. The Bible also says that whatever we sow in our hearts we will reap in our actions. Remember that song, "Be careful little mind what you think? For the Father up above is looking down in love." Well, sing that to yourself every time you are devising wicked thoughts. Repent, and change your thought process! (You can read more about this from a writing from my other blog (Julie's Bible Journey https://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/ ), "Is the abundance of your heart dark and crooked?" here: https://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2025/11/is-abundance-of-your-heart-dark-and.html )

Feet that are swift in running to evil: Do not be quick to jump on the band wagon with everyone else doing wrong. That wagon is headed straight to hell! Be swift to run away from evil. If your first instinct is to run toward the sinful things of this world, you need to repent of your ways and get back to living for Christ! Running to evil includes cheating on your mate and pornography. You do not have to participate if your spouse wants you to do something you know is sinful. It is okay to say no and encourage him/her to repent and walk away from sin. Pray together that you will be strong enough to flee temptations in your marriage individually and as a couple.

And one who sows discord among brethren: There are so many, many ways we can sow discord. Gossip is the biggest thing that comes to my mind. Remember the above verse speaking against lying? Gossip is rarely truthful or at the most half-truths. I cannot stand to be around a gossip as many people have harmed me and/or my precious husband with false gossip (I am including from before we knew each other as well). Again, do not talk about your spouse behind his/her back. Also, sowing discord in your home could mean simply being antagonistic and argumentative. Be kind to each other and sow peace and joy. Those are things God loves!

Marriage enhancing idea for the week: Carefully go over the seven things that are abominations. Be honest with yourselves and repent of any of these acts of which you are guilty. If you need to also ask your mate's forgiveness, do so and be quick to forgive if he/she needs to ask it if you as well.

There is no art project suggestion for the number 7.

Wednesday, January 1, 2025

Week 53: The Number 3: A Threefold Cord

Fun Activity This Week: Two options. Option 1: Create at home (or go to a restaurant), a three-course meal. You can include any three courses, even something simple like coffee before or after the meal. Celebrate as if it was a holiday and/or have the meal by candlelight! Option 2: One or both of you choose 3 of your favorite food items and create a fun meal out if it. In the above artwork, I have made a similar dish with the items (I realize this equals 6 items, but you can each choose 3 so it fits the category 😉.) You can add additional items of course such as seasonings, olive oil, etc. (such as for above I added quinoa and white gravy),but have fun and be creative together!

Week 53: The Number 3: A Threefold Cord

Here is the rest of the verse from the previous post on the number 2:

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12

The "threefold cord" to which Solomon was referring was God. In other words, when you include God in your marriage, your relationship is less likely to end up broken. You are less likely to cause harm to one another when you want to please God with your actions. When you follow Biblical principles, you are less likely to cheat, steal, lie, or participate in other dishonest and harmful actions that could ultimately break your marriage.

Also, note in the verse that it is easier to stand against something or someone wanting to cause harm to you and/or your marriage when you stand as a united team. Do not let adversity, tragedy, or opposition tear you apart. Stand united and allow God to help hold you and your marriage together.

The more you include God in your marriage in such things as Bible study, prayer, and praise time, the healthier and more joyful your marriage will be!

Marriage-Enhancing Tip for the week: When making any major decisions this week, make sure you both pray about it. When you consider God's will above both of your own and stop and think you just may end up surprised how much better the results will be.

Art Project Idea: Make a friendship bracelet out of three different colors. One to represent the husband, one for the wife, and the third for God. You can either wear them, put them on a keychain, hang them in your car, etc. but the idea is that each time you look at them, you will be reminded to make all the right decisions when you acknowledge that Jesus is a part of your marriage. It will also be an encouraging reminder as well that you have the Lord God Almighty fighting for and with you and your marriage! If you do not know to how make a bracelet, there are multiple examples on You Tube (I've been making these since the 1980's!) but here is the result of a search; you can choose which video(s) to watch: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+make+a+friendship+bracelet Below are the bracelets I made:

Tuesday, December 31, 2024

Week 53: The Number 2: Teammates

Fun Activity This Week: Pick two charities, or two people, or two families (or a combination) that you can help this week. You can each pick one with a total of two, or each pick two - it's your choice! If you are in financial need, then volunteer time, donate used (but nice) items, or find other ways to help such as babysitting for free, running errands, or visiting a shut-in. Whatever you choose, do it as a couple to honor the Lord!

Week 53: The Number 2: Teammates

I know I say it often, but I cannot emphasize enough that the two of you are a team. Help each other out whenever needed. From big projects to little ones, no task is too insignificant. Don't wait to be asked to help, and do not forget to say thank you, even when your spouse helps with a simple task.

Helping each other does not just include housework and taking care of the kids etc., but includes physical, emotional, and spiritual support as well. Lift up each other in prayer and be each other's counselor. Do not belittle or downplay feelings you do not understand, or think are beneath you. Be his/her teammate and help him/her get through all tough times, no matter what it takes; all others can wait!

Marriage-Enhancing Idea for the Week: Read the verses below aloud together and thank God that you have a spouse to be there for you. And promise to always be there for one another, no matter what you face, and no matter what it takes.

Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

(Next time, I will write about verse 12 that follows the above verses!)

Art Project Idea: Use a version of the phrase I just wrote above. Write something such as, "No matter what we face, and no matter what it takes, I promise to always be there for you!" I am leaving whatever you do with those words up to you. You could add them to a scrapbook style page with some of your favorite photographs; turn the words into a card by writing them on cardstock (or any type of) paper and use your own words inside to make the same promise as well as tell him/her how much his/her support means to you; just use the words alone and frame in a creative way; create computer art and share in private or post on social media; etc... Whatever you choose, have fun, and, if you choose, add the words to Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 to your project.

Sunday, December 29, 2024

Week 53: The Number 1: First

Fun Activity This Week: Find a way to show the world that the 2 became 1! Wear husband and wife shirts, matching clothing, or whatever else you can think of. You don't have to buy shirts if it's not in the budget, but trust me, even when you color coordinate, people notice. Whatever you choose, send a clear message that you and your spouse are one.

Week 53: The Number 1: First

When we put God first in our marriage, all else will fall into place. Take time out to read the Bible and/or pray together before all other activities (a minimum of once a week, but preferably more often) and you will notice how peaceful you feel and act the rest of the day. Placing the Lord first in all you do obviously will not suddenly cause you to have a stress-free life, but it will enable you to handle the stressful things better as a team.

Other than placing God first in your priorities in your marriage, we must also seek Jesus out before all others, even our spouse. Do not seek wealth or fame but seek Jesus and His righteousness. When we strive to live holy lives, it will automatically make our marriages more joyful because our actions are a lot less likely to harm one another. Seeking righteousness means you will not want to have an affair, mentally or physically harm one other, see divorce as an option, or a multitude of other sins that could be detrimental to your marriage. Seek Jesus first, place your mate second, all others a distant third, and your marriage will beautifully fall into place!

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:

Evaluate your daily/weekly routine. Notice how many things you do before reading your Bible. Consider postponing some activities for later in the day or even eliminating idle time to spend more time with the Lord as a couple.

Art Project Idea: Write, type, or print out a meme from the Internet with the words to the above scripture to Matthew 6:33. Add the words to patterned scrapbook paper and frame them. Place these words near your car keys, purse, or briefcase. If you have not yet spent time with the Lord that morning (I realize this may not be possible on a work morning since you may not be leaving the house at the same time or one of you may still be home asleep, you may need to wait until evening or the weekend). Stop everything and say a prayer thanking God for each other and your marriage and the strength to shine for the Lord as individuals and as a couple.

Here is a collage I made in May 2018 in of us wearing our "I love my Husband/Wife" t-shirts: