Week 28: Never Give Up & Nurture

 

Fun Activity This Week:  Read a novel out loud.  Take turns reading, use the “text-to-speech” option on your Kindle, or listen to an audio book.  I realize that a lot of books are not clean or innocent (including the so-called Christian ones), so you need to use your own discernment and discretion on this one.  If you cannot make out the image I inserted into the artwork, it’s the book cover from one of my favorite books, "Hinds Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard.

Week 28: Never Give Up & Nurture

Never Give Up:  As much as I love, desire, adore, cherish, and admire my husband, and as happy as our marriage is, our life has had struggles.  Let me make it clear that our marriage does not have any problems; we have always been very much united and in love.  Nevertheless, life has been difficult for the majority of our thirteen years together.  Yet, no matter what we faced, we have always been committed to one another and have promised never to give up on each other or our marriage.

In 2014, Mel and I were facing losing our home.  I would lay awake at night worrying about our situation, and I even wondered what would happen to our marriage if we ended up homeless.  Less than a week before we were to be evicted, we still did not know where we would live.  However, I fully believed that our marriage would survive the loss of our home, as I believed in our vows never to give up.  Did I turn on my husband and blame him?  Never!  I clung to him more than ever.  I relied on him to be my rock and in turn, I became his.  I was confused and angry with the Lord for several months, but I still held on to my Heavenly Father and trusted in His will and timing and eventually learned that God is always good.  By the way, we never spent a single day homeless as God provided a rental for us in a very miraculous way.

I certainly do not enjoy dwelling on the negative, and I prefer to think of the best-case scenario instead of the worst.  However, I believe it is very important to ask yourself the question, “Will we give up when the going gets tough?” 

Marriages break up over anything from money issues, to not enough/too much sex, infidelity, abuse, grief, illness, alcoholism, etc.  Sometimes it is necessary to separate yourself from an unfaithful, abusive, immoral spouse.  However, most non-abusive issues should be worked out. When you took wedding vows, you promised to make your marriage work, no matter what situation occurred. 

We all wish we would never have to face the tough times.  We think God will take care of every situation, but that is not always the case.  We live in a fallen world, and bad things will happen. We cannot always understand the reason why, but this is not the time to turn away from your spouse.  This is the time to pull together and be strong for one another.   Instead of clinging to one another during hard times, most couples place blame, retreat inside, and/or turn to alcohol or other vises.  Rather than spending more time together in attempts to heal, they spend more time apart grieving alone. This would be the perfect example of utilizing a counselor to save your marriage even if you think you don't need one.

(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Hardship are not a time to go off and suffer alone.  It is a time to weep in your spouse's arms even when you cannot talk.  Take care of each other's needs as they arise.  Some experts say one of you will always be weak while the other is always strong, but this is a misleading assumption.  In a good marriage, you are both strong at the same time, and strong for each other every day.  Being strong DOES NOT mean that you never cry and have a bad day; it means you hold hands and pray for each other.  It means talking about your feelings.  It does not mean you have to try to fix everything, it means you promise to be there to hold each other and never let go.  Being sad or hurt does not mean you are weak! Let that really sink in!  Refusing to reach out to your spouse or let him/her be there for you or refusing to be there for your mate when he/she is down is unquestionably a sign of weakness.  Do not give up on each other emotionally.   

Seriously ask yourself (either alone or with your partner), “Will we give up when the going gets tough?”  If you do not know, or you think the answer is yes, then please try to figure out why.  There is no shame in seeking help from a pastor or counselor when needed.  I cannot guarantee happy circumstances for you or me.  I can guarantee that if you make God your number one source of strength, place God at the center of your marriage, obey the Bibler, pray together with your spouse, let God guide your life, and believe that no matter what comes your way you and your loved one will never give up, then you will have a joyful marriage!

Nurture: Take care of needs and wants as they arise.  Pamper one another and make your home a place of comfort.  Needs can include taking care of an ill spouse: getting him/her soup, rice, ginger ale, or even just stroking their hair to soothe them.  It could be the need to get out of the house and go for a drive because one or both of you are feeling too cooped up.  Wants can be anything from a cherry coke to sex. As long as it is a reasonable request, try your very best to meet needs and wants.  If I tell Mel I would really like a new Build-A-Bear, but we only have $25 for the rest of the month, and he lets me know it's not practical right now, I am not going to pout, I am going to respect his decision (Actually, I pay close attention to our budget, but this is just an example.).  Therefore, in instances such as these, it is acceptable to deny a request as long as it is done in a loving way, and you explain why you have said no. 

According to the dictionary, two of the definitions of nurture are: 1. to feed and protect; 2. to support and encourage.  I found it interesting that "to feed" was included.  This could literally mean fixing your spouse nourishing food and making sure he/she eats healthy. Although, pudding or ice cream when he/she is sick is perfectly acceptable! (Hint, hint!)  More importantly, you should also nurture each other with spiritual food such as Bible study at least once a week.  I also like that the definition includes "protect."  That can literally mean with your life and/or with your words.  Protecting each other’s reputation by standing up for him/her is always important. 

Then there's the second part of the definition that says nurturing includes "support" and "encourage[ment]."  We should do our best to support and encourage each other even when we are down.  When you lift up your spouse even though you are full of fears and doubts, it actually boosts your spirits and makes you feel better, especially when you quote God’s Word.  You can also support and encourage them when they wants to try something new (or old).  Do not say "You can't do that because...”  Be each other’s cheerleader and do your best to be there for your sweetie no matter what.   

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Never Give Up:  When you get up tomorrow morning (or before you go to bed tonight) take the time to look each other in the eye and promise again that you will never give up on your marriage no matter what comes your way.  You can never assure or be assured too many times.

Nurture:  Ask your honey what needs you can meet this week and do your best to follow through.

Art Project Option: This idea does cost money, but you can buy the items over time if that’s easier or use items already in the house. Use a shoebox (or any kind of box) with a lid and decorate the outside any way you choose.  I like to use fun wrapping paper, as it is easier than cutting and piecing together bits of paper.  You can glue it if you like, but if you want to reuse the same box, it will come off easier with tape.  Make one or several boxes for nurturing your mate.  

Husbands, one idea for your wife would be: bubble bath, lotion, candles, etc., for a relaxing soak in the tub. Wives, another idea is a man box: hot sauce, beef jerky, even masculine-scented candles and body wash for his own soothing bath.   Another idea is to have a box premade with items for when one of you is ill such as filling it with tissues, cough drops, flu medicine, tea bags, Jell-O and pudding mixes, snuggly socks, soup (you can use the dry versions of soup if the cans make the box too heavy), etc.  Another idea is a baking or cooking box for a specific recipe (or even just a cookbook if you don’t have one recipe in mind).  You can include some of the nonperishable items such as spices, herbs, baking chips, and include a spatula, whisk, or even a potholder.  Or plan a fun day trip box for a way to de stress and include a map, fun road trip snacks, guidebooks, etc.  Other box suggestions are: romance, hobby, favorite foods, seasonal, spiritual, cheering up, congratulations, etc.  The ideas are endless, so be creative and have fun!  If you are making multiple boxes, you may want to label them or choose a paper (or stickers) that fits the theme, so you know which box is which.

Week 27: Never Short Video

 

Week 27: Never Short Video

Week 27: Negative Generational Chains Art Project

 

Week 27: Negative Generational Chains Art Project

Oops, sorry for the really bad hair day, LOL!!  But after posting this week about not having a negative self-image, I guess I shouldn't care that my hair looks super messy!  Lesson to self! 

Week 27: Negative Generational Chains & Negative Self-Image

 Fun Activity This Week:  Nickel-and-Dime it this week.  Only buy what is necessary and put what you save in a can (or in a savings account) for a special occasion or donate to charity. 

Week 27: Negative Generational Chains & Negative Self-Image

Negative Generational Chains:  By now, you should know I do not beat around the bush.  I write on tough topics because, one, I write what God lays on my heart, no matter how difficult the subject, and two, I hope to challenge people to examine their marriages and fix what needs to be fixed.  This week's topic is no exception.  Every time I pray whether or not to include this issue, I feel I should.  God wants us all to learn to break the negative generational chains holding us back. This is not about playing the blame game, holding grudges, or being judgmental of other people's flaws, it is only about learning to identity your own negative traits that may stem from your past, and learning to heal from them.

Before we are even old enough to consider getting married, we think we know what marriage is supposed to look like based on the way we see our parents treating one another.  For some, they see a wonderful and loving example of parents who are united as one and treat each other with true love and respect.  They see how serving God in marriage as a partnership can work.  However, good marital examples are a rarity and using your parents as an example of how to treat your spouse is not necessarily a good thing.  In some cases, it can sour those against ever wanting to get married, and/or it can create many generations of abusive spouses.  However, I am here to tell you that you are not either one of your parents (or stepparents, or whoever raised you). You can break the generational chains of disrespect, infidelity, drunkenness, abandonment, abuse, and so on.

If you saw your mother rolling her eyes at your father when he asked her not to wear short skirts and low-cut tops, chances are you will do the same.  If you saw your father disappear for hours on end to go drinking at the bar, you are probably following his lead.   Yet you do not have to follow your parents' bad examples.  I have seen many models of bad marriages, and I was determined never to act that way toward my husband.  I try very hard to be a Biblical wife, treat my husband with the utmost respect, and allow him to be the leader of our home.  I will never be a perfect wife, and I always have more to learn, but my stubborn streak pays off when it comes to being determined to be a good wife.

(Exodus 34: 6-8) And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth,  keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the sin of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children to the third and the fourth generation.” So Moses made haste and bowed his head toward the earth, and worshiped.  

These are tricky verses.  I had to re-read it several times and asked Mel to give me his thoughts.  One family can carry on a very negative tradition of sins such as alcoholism, drug abuse, molestation, pornography addiction, etc.  But if even one person in that family (such as yourself) repents and changes his ways, he will instantly be forgiven and will not have to carry the weight of the sins of countless generations before him. 

I knew a woman who was afraid to get married for many years because her mother could not stay faithful to her father.  She was terrified that she would carry this same generational chain and that she would not be capable of fidelity.  She decided she would rather stay single than get married and wound a man as deeply as she saw her father injured.  She told me it was not until she fell in love on such a deep level, that she finally knew beyond the shadow of any doubt, that she would never cheat on him.  It is that kind of intense love that drives her to purity.  She is 100% committed to her husband and will always be so.  She still prays that God will always keep her marriage pure because she cannot succeed on her own.  With God's help combined with her own sincere love, she knows she has broken the negative generational chains of infidelity. 

There are many examples I could point out where children are afraid of being like their parents.  And worse yet, are just like them.  However, do not ever use the excuse that you are an abuser just because your mother or father was.  My father's mother was very abusive, and his father abandoned the family when my dad was seven years old.  He found Jesus at around age 13 and was determined to live for and serve Jesus. Though not perfect, my father was a loving dad.  Therefore, with help from the Holy Spirit, He broke the negative generational chains of abuse and abandonment.

No matter what negative generational sins you are facing, with God's help, you can break those chains.  You cannot just sit around and whine about feeling trapped and guilty; you must take the steps to seek help.  You absolutely can overcome it!   

(2 Kings 14:5-7) Now it happened, as soon as the kingdom was established in his hand, that he executed his servants who had murdered his father the king.  But the children of the murderers he did not execute, according to what is written in the Book of the Law of Moses, in which the Lord commanded, saying, “Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor shall children be put to death for their fathers; but a person shall be put to death for his own sin."

Although some people do have violent sins in their family’s past, I am not writing about murder, but these verses show that we are not to bare the guilt of our parents' sins.  If your father molested a child, for example, you are not to be punished for his crime.  Even if such thoughts disgust you and you have no inclination ever to harm a child, you could still be suffering guilt for what your parent did.  Let those that are sinners bare their own guilt and punishment; that is not your job.   

There are no excuses for sin, so stop using your heritage or DNA as a crutch.  Break the chains of negative generational sins.  It is never too late and with God’s help, you can be the model husband or wife God intended! 

Negative Self-Image:  Mel and I pretty much live in blissful happiness. The sun is always shining, the birds are always singing, and we are crazy in love. Yes, life is truly wonderful, but neither one of us claims perfection. We both have many flaws, and at least one we can easily admit we have in common: we both have a negative self-image. These insecurities have been the source for 80% of our tiffs. I am not saying we have very many fights, because we only have a few here and there.  I am saying that the few times we do, this is the basis for it. Mostly because one of us has misunderstood what the other was saying or misinterpreted an action. Rather than communicating right away, we let our insecurity create an imaginary offense and felt hurt. Luckily, we know each other very well, and can quickly tell when the other is upset. Even when one of us says we are okay when we are not, we ultimately talk about what caused hurt feelings. Even when we are angry and want to retreat, we will eventually talk things through.

I am not going to write about the specifics of our disagreements because they are private, but I will say that one of my insecurities (and believe me, I have several), has to do with my looks. My husband is so complementary and gazes at me with such love in his eyes, and yet, whenever there is a beautiful woman in view, I feel like the dog-faced girl. All the insecurities I have about my body, my thin hair, and crooked teeth all weigh me down like a wet wool sweater. I cannot see the truth staring me down in Mel’s beautiful blue and green eyes that he adores me and only me. I fully trust that he will always be faithful, and that is not the issue, but just feeling ugly in the presence of the man I am so crazy about makes me shrink away and put up walls. Of course, as soon as we talk things through, I am back to normal.

All the wasted energy spent on feeling upset about an imaginary issue would be easily solved if I could let go of my own vanity and fully embrace Mel’s acceptance of me. He tells me often how beautiful he thinks I am and how much he loves me. I know it is still sometimes hard to believe that someone as amazing as Mel would truly love me, but he does. I know he does. I would not have married him if I did not believe it. I just need to let the truths of Mel’s love envelop me like a big, fluffy bathrobe.

Bottom line on this issue is for all of us to learn to let go of whatever insecurities may be keeping us from fully accepting our spouse’s love and not to place our doubts on our honey’s shoulders. It is not fair to make someone else responsible for something he/she had nothing to do with. It will also reduce the amount of tension we may create with each other.

I know in my case that the next time I feel hurt by something my husband says or does, I am going to ask myself, “Does this truly reflect the way Mel sees me? Would he really think such a thing I am assuming he is thinking? Am I putting unsaid words in his mouth? Or is my insecurity causing me to hear what had never been said?  Do I trust in his love?” I know the answer to the last question will always be yes, and that will open up more time for snuggles and less time for struggles!

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:

Negative Generational Chains:  Art Project Option: Make an actual chain out of paper.  I would recommend any color of plain paper this time, but even patterned paper will do.  Cut out strips and write on the separate strips all you would consider to be negative generational chains.  Include even things you may think of as a minor such as swearing, critical attitude, disrespecting spouse, etc., as well as the major issues such as infidelity, abuse, pornography, theft, alcoholism, etc. Now tape or glue the strips into loops and link them together to form a chain.  I am sure you did this as a child!  I really hope you both choose to do this project because I would like for you to pray over this list with your mate and pray that God will help you both find the victory over these generational chains.  Then tear the chain apart.  Rip each link into shreds (or you could even safely burn them) as a sign that your negative generational chains are gone for good!    

On an additional note: this is also a good time for healing and focusing on forgiving any wrongs your parent(s) (or other anyone else who raised you) caused you intentionally or unintentionally. Do not wait for anyone to ask to be forgiven, you are not responsible for the condition of other's hearts, but only your own. Forgive just as Jesus forgives you!

Negative Self-Image:  Make an effort this week to learn to accept every compliment given to you by your sweetie.  If your hubby tells you that you look great without makeup, do not roll your eyes and tell him he’s blind.  If your wife tells you that you are sexy, do not pat your belly and tell her you need to lose weight.  Instead, learn to say, “Thank you, honey!”  Train your brain to trust the one you married truly believes you are beautiful/handsome!

Week 26: Fun Activity for Going to a Museum

 

Week 26: Fun Activity for Going to a Museum

This Week's Fun Activity is to "visit an art or historical museum... or look at books or photos on-line of beautiful art and/or historical items.  Many museums have photos on-line and some even have virtual tours."

These pictures are from our 12th anniversary day trip we took to Astoria, OR in 2024 where we visited the Columbia River Maritime Museum. We took more than 100 photos, so this is just a small sample of the wonderful museum, which included a tour of a lighthouse boat docked in the harbor outside the museum and a trolley ride outside the museum.

Week 26: Manipulate Short Video

Week 26: Manipulate Short Video

Week 26: Money Art Project

 

Week 26: Money Art Project

Week 26: Mercy & Money

 

Fun Activity This Week:  Visit an art or historical museum.  None in your area, or it is not in your budget, then look at books or photos on-line of beautiful art and/or historical items.  Many museums have photos on-line and some even have virtual tours.  Mel and I are both history buffs, and even looking at photos is interesting to us.

 

Week 26: Mercy & Money

Mercy:  Just as we expect others to be merciful toward us when we make mistakes, show the utmost mercy toward your spouse and always be ready to forgive.  Do not hold a grudge or later throw back in his/her face something done weeks or months ago.  Furthermore, do not plot how to get even.  Give your mate the benefit of the doubt and learn to talk things out and/or let the little things go.  

If your spouse has done something that has offended you and you truly feel like you cannot let it go, then please find the time to talk about it before you go to sleep.  Ephesians 4:26 gives this excellent advice, “Be angry, and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath."  It is best to confront things when fresh in your mind.  When you stew over something, it tends to get bigger rather than smaller.

I have said it before, and I promise it is true; Mel and I rarely fight. Part of the reason we rarely argue is because we communicate so well and because we do not let the little things get to us.  Neither one of us is perfect in any way, and there are things we do that irritate the other.  However, because we are so deeply in love and so truly respect one another, we do not keep a list of these things to throw back in the other's face.  If Mel does not feel like telling me right away that I did something to hurt his feelings in November, he is not going to say to me in December, "Well you bit my head off last month and I am still upset by it."  Nor am I going to say, "Well, you said something that hurt my feelings in June, July, and August!"  Of course not, because we let the little things go.  

I am certainly not suggesting you confront everything that irritates you. For one thing no one can stand a nagging wife or husband.  For another, you may have woken up cranky and something big will seem much smaller once you have had your coffee. Only discuss the things you think could affect your marriage negatively.  If you truly think you will be over it in an hour or two and it is not worth stirring up angry feelings, let it go, and do not store it in your brain to confront your spouse with at a later date.  The Bible says it better: He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly. Proverbs 14:29, & So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. James 1:19  

1 Corinthians 13:5 gives us excellent advice by reminding us that love keeps no record of wrongs (NIV).  The New King James Version words 1 Corinthians 13:5 a little different and says, love “thinks no evil.” So, keeping track of all the times your spouse has hurt your feelings is thinking evil toward one another.  Unless your partner has a pattern of abuse, chances are, they did not truly mean to hurt your feelings.  If it really bothers you that much, then please let each other know and talk about it so the problem can be resolved. 

Mercy does not mean you justify your partner's actions or let them off the hook for issues that need help.  Of course, bigger issues such as money mismanagement, drug/alcohol addictions, infidelity (this includes viewing pornography), or any kind of abuse need to be addressed and most likely will require martial counseling.  I am referring to smaller issues that need not get so dramatic in our minds and actions.  But big or small, we can still extend mercy in the form of forgiveness to one another.

(Micah 6:8) He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God? 

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week: 

Money:  Although I talked about materialism last week, this week I will be more specific in matters of how to handle money issues in your marriage.  Statistics state that the number one reason couples fight and often even break up is over money.  If you follow a few simple ideas, there is no reason money should cause so much harm.  

I know several couples that have separate bank accounts.  One of the reasons was, sadly, that the husband was wasting their money on alcohol and the wife had to get a secret account so her family could eat.  Another reason was that the wife spent all of her money, then took her husband’s income without asking, and gave it to her children from her first marriage.  Unless these or similar are your issues, there is no reason to keep your money separate.  If your spouse is an irresponsible spender and cannot be trusted to waste money on frivolous or immoral things, you may need to seek professional help. 

Genesis 2:24 says that we become one when we marry, that means we share all things. Mel and I very much have the attitude of “what’s mine is yours and yours is mine.”  We know what the other spends, and the only time a purchase is a secret is if it is for a happy surprise.  Even then, we have a rule (as many couples do) that we do not spend more than a set amount without clearing it with the other, even for gifts.  So, choose an amount you want your partner to discuss with you before it is spent.

If one of you is better at organization, there is nothing wrong with designating one of you as the “banker” of the family.  I am the one responsible for budgeting and paying bills because I enjoy creating lists and charts and being organized and Mel does not. Most of the time I do not mind doing it. However, if the banker is feeling overwhelmed, consider swapping roles on a rotating schedule.  I know of families where the one in charge of the checkbooks resented the role and it caused friction.  

If neither of you is capable of keeping track, there is no shame in that.  Rather than find yourselves in the negative a little too often or short on money and struggling to survive at the end of the month, take a class in finance for help.  Churches quite often offer free or inexpensive money managing seminars.  You can find a lot of free video advice on-line as well as from free library books (in person or check them out on-line). I am someone who likes more than one opinion to see if they agree so that I am not taking the wrong advice, so I also suggest more than one resource. Alternatively, if you really feel it is a necessity and you can afford it, hire an accountant. Just be careful who you pay money to or give your personal information to as there are way too many scammers out there. Unless it is a Certified Public Accountant working in a legitimate office, do not give anyone access to your bank records.

Alternatively, if you are good with money, consider offering free advice to help others as a kind service for the Lord.

I am certainly not a financial adviser and made plenty of mistakes in my younger days, but God has since instilled in me the wisdom of planning and keeping a strict financial plan. We keep a tight budget for each month, and if we are worried we will go over (which is rare), we sit down together and discuss what adjustments need to be made to keep our funds where they need to be.  Figure out what is coming in versus what is going out (bills, necessities, and even fun money).  Find time together every day or two (you decide how often) to go over all money spent that day to assure there are no stresses or surprises in the budget.

Consider starting a savings account.  For the majority of our marriage, we had no savings as we barely live paycheck to paycheck.  If this is your situation, I understand.  However, even if you only set aside $5-$10 every two weeks, the money adds up, and it is a comfort just knowing you have a small cushion either for emergencies or for something fun. In 2018 I worked a seasonal job from May-September, so every month we set aside enough money to help us pay our large winter power bill as well as making it possible for us to move in 2019.  The first year we had that extra savings to fall back on was a huge stress reliever.

Try your very best never to get into debt.  Homes and vehicles are inevitable debt manufacturers, but what I am referring to is credit cards.  Too often, one is tempted to use the card more and more and the bill becomes an added burden to your finances.  If you have credit cards, try to save it for real emergencies, not just for an ice cream craving (unless it's just once a month or so).  And do your best to pay down the balance as quickly as possible since the fees paid on interest rates are usually money wasted.

If you follow all the above suggestions and still find yourselves fighting over money, please take a (preferably free) class on money management and/or talk to a counselor.  

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:

Mercy: Forgive past and present errors. Show mercy when wrongs are committed.  Do not hang past offenses over each other’s head.  Make a genuine effort to put the past where it belongs and focus on today!   

Money: Put into practice at least one idea from the above writing, such as starting a savings account.  Whatever you choose to do (or even if none of the above), take time this week and discuss how your finances are handled and make certain you are on the same page.  If not, do your best to find a compromise that will make both of you happy.

Art Project Option:  Ironically enough, you might need to spend money for this project, but less than $2.00 if you utilize a thrift or dollar store.  But you don't have to, you can create your own fake money or buy a game that uses money (unless you own such a game and never play it) such as Monopoly, or buy play money, draw money, print a design off the Internet, or find scrapbook or wrapping paper that looks like money.  You are going to create a mobile. 

For the top section, use a large piece of cardboard (you can glue some of the “money” here or cover it with plain paper), and write something like, “You are priceless to me,” or “Your love is worth more than all the money in the world.”  Now glue as many fake bills as you wish to individual pieces of cardboard.  On each bill, write a word or phrase that describes how priceless your mate is to you.  Punch holes in the top of the money and connect them to the larger cardboard and to each other with thread, yarn, or even rubber bands.  You can even use fake coins as decorations as you see fit.  Hang this near the area where you pay your bills so you can be reminded that love is more important that money.