Week 31: Passion & Pornography

 

Fun Activity This Week:  Spend as much of your day as possible in your pajamas!  Have a relaxed day, take it easy, and just enjoy being together!  (If you have kids, they will probably enjoy a pajama day as well!)

Week 31: Passion & Pornography

Passion:  It is important to have more than just a sexual passion in your marriage, but also a passion for making sure your marriage is successful.  Sincerely work at your marriage with a positive attitude and do everything you can to make it a happy, safe, respectful place. 

Of course, sexual passion is a lot of fun too!

On June 10, Mel and I celebrated our ten-year anniversary! We do not have children, but no matter how busy we are, we still take the time for romance!  No matter how tired we are, we still find enough time for pleasure.  We have always had a phone-off policy during our intimate times do not let anything or anyone interfere with our time.   We love having a full free morning of romance where we can simply focus on just the two of us and snuggle in each other’s arms.

We once knew a couple at our old church in Idaho that, even though they have five children, and several foster children, both have jobs and are active in the church three nights a week, they still made the time nearly every Wednesday to have dinner together at The Cheesecake Factory.  What a great example they are.  When they celebrated their 20th anniversary, they took a romantic trip for two!

Mel and I have never lost our amazing love for one another, but that is also because we always take time out for passion.  I have read and seen by example that regular romantic connections with your spouse will make you a better parent.  Let's face it, good romantic, passionate times equal good moods.  So, be in an amazing mood as often as you can!

Pornography:  My husband Mel co-authored this subject with me.  

First, we want to make several things clear: we do not believe men are the only offenders of viewing pornography.  That brings us to the other thing we want to make clear: we do not see pornography as just naked pictures, but sex scenes in movies and books can be pornographic as well.  Both sexes can be just as addicted to smutty movies/novels as well as to naked pictures. 

Society will tell you it is the spouse’s fault if his/her mate looks at pornography.  Julie once read a statement on a major news source website that said something like (not an exact quote), “your husband looks at pornography because you are not properly arousing him, and you must work harder to do so.”  The writer of the article wrote a big lie!  Just as it is not your fault if your spouse cheats, it is not your fault if he/she looks at porn! It is the offender who needs deliverance from sin.  

But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  Matthew 5:28

Pornography is not a victimless sin.  Your family will always suffer if you allow viewing such filth to corrupt you. If you make it clear that you do not see anything wrong with looking at naked people to whom you are not married, you are teaching your children it is okay to demean women and that their mother is not enough for you.  You are raising them to be disrespectful of women and see women as only sexual objects and are teaching your children, especially your daughters, that it is okay for females to be overly sexualized and treated as objects not people with feelings.  If you have a daughter, how would you feel if men were ogling her the way you lust over someone else’s child? And yes, even adults are someone's son or daughter.

“Can anyone hide himself in secret places, So I shall not see him?” says the Lord; “Do I not fill heaven and earth?” says the Lord.  Jeremiah 23:24

Yes, we are very well aware that most of the people in the magazines and web sites are there by their own choice.  Yet, the viewer does not know this as absolute fact.  That young-faced adult could very easily be a child forced into the sex trade very much against his/her will.  Now, you are not only supporting smut, but you are also supporting robbing children of their innocence.  Do you think those viewers ever think of that?  They would if suddenly their missing child showed up on a pornography site.  This does not just happen in foreign countries; sex trade for underage children is a very real problem in this country too.    

For there is nothing hidden which will not be revealed, nor has anything been kept secret but that it should come to light.  Mark 4:22

It is a proven fact that pornography creates serial killers and rapists.  Ted Bundy is a notorious serial murderer/rapist that admitted his addiction to porn is what piqued his interest in killing.  We are not saying all who are addicted to porn become killers and/or rapists, but it is a very real trend.  Just as an alcoholic needs more and more booze to get drunk, so the smut addict needs more and more provocative images to turn him on.  He (or she) searches out other types of porn, often leading to live performances, and when he cannot get satisfaction (not even from his own wife), it is a very real possibility he will take it by force.

Pornography is so well accepted that men/women of all ages are walking around continually seeking visual stimulation.  The way women dress becomes more and more obscene every year. Women and even children dress in shorts so short their rear ends hang out, their tops are see-through or low cut, and they have no problem bending over in a skirt so short you know what color underwear they have on, and the trend of leggings, showing off their behinds in such a disgusting manner, is designed only to titillate.  There is very little modesty left in our society.  It makes it very difficult for those who choose to dress modestly because men have been trained to believe that all women want to be drooled over and gawked at.  We hate this because we are married and extremely loyal to one another.  

Pornography is also a huge problem with Christians because the church has the culture well ingrained within it. Mel was shocked by a comment made by a leader of a home Bible study group.  He asked the people, “Do you know why more than 60% of Pastors view some form of pornography?  Because they are human, that’s why.”  This man is the product of the modern-day lukewarm church that tolerates everything. God’s Word teaches us that we must repent of our sins and be born again in order to be saved. To be born again means to put off our old sinful nature and to become a new creation in Christ.  God’s Word is clear that we must not touch what is unclean!

Therefore “Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you.”  II Corinthians 6:17

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Passion:  No matter what is going on this week, make time for passion.  If you need to lose a little bit of sleep and get up early, then do it at least once.  Or stay up a little later if need be.  Better yet, if you can come home for a lunch break, why not skip the meal and go straight for dessert!  

Art Project Option:  Okay, so this one does not have to be an actual art project, but just a very fun activity.  Create for your mate a treasure hunt where you are the treasure!  I know other books may also offer this suggestion, but the end prize always costs money, or requires you to have two phones or two vehicles where one of you sends texts to the other that leads your mate in a chase all over town and ultimately to a restaurant and/or hotel.  While this also sounds like a lot of fun, Mel and I have never had the money for two phones or two cars, so I created a much cheaper, but just as fun option (however, you can still do it the more costly way if you choose). 

Here is where you can make it an art project.  For each clue, write the instructions on a piece of cardboard, cardstock, or construction paper and include words, drawings, pictures, or a combination.  For example, if clue #1 is to send your honey to clue #2 hidden behind a picture of your wedding day, you could draw a baseball pitcher (or a water pitcher) and wedding rings or veil or some other picture that depicts marriage.  You can even use all scripture verses for clues.  The idea is to send your partner all over the house from room to room (this even works in small houses) finding clues in obscure places.  Think dryer drums, hampers, cat food container, refrigerator, a collectible item, piece of clothing, etc.  The final clue should lead him/her to the bedroom where you have prepared a treasure of passion. Gifts are optional. 

Pornography:  The easiest advice I can give for this week is just walk away.  If pornography is a sin in your life, do whatever you need to do to be rid of it. My husband had a friend that canceled his Internet service, quit watching television, and switched to a basic phone in order to help him deal with his addiction.  Although I believe God can deliver someone from habitual sins if they are truly repentant, I strongly encourage counseling if you cannot let this issue go.

Week 30 Fun Activity

 

As always, you can view the video that goes with this fun activity on the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/theabcsofajoyfulmarriage/ .

Week 30 Short Video

The video I made for week 30 will not post to Blogger, but if you would like to view it, please visit my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/theabcsofajoyfulmarriage/  Thank you!

Week 30 Art Project

 

As always, you can view the video that goes with this art project on the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/theabcsofajoyfulmarriage/ .

Week 30: One & Open

 

Fun Activity This  Week:  Go through old photos and discuss what you know about family history.  If you do not have any old photos, then just talk about your family.  Go as far back in time as you can.  The fun thing about this is that no matter how long you have been married, you are sure to learn new things about each other’s pasts.

Week 30: One & Open

One:  Being one means you are of one body, heart, and mind.  You are still you, an individual, but more importantly, you are a we.  You should make decisions together as a couple as much as possible.  I lived alone for fourteen years before marrying Mel. When it came to making decisions, I was used to answering to no one or consulting anyone.  Yet even before we were married, I was very glad to have another person to share my thoughts and opinions with and help me make important decisions and in turn help him when he needs advice.  I am very happy I am no longer the "lone wolf" I once called myself.  I am very proud to be one with my husband.

I want to focus this week on being of one mind. 

The man said, “This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:23-24

I have heard or read the above scripture verse many times throughout my life, but the concept of being one never really sunk in until I became a wife.  Before I was married, I could never have imagined what it truly felt like to be so linked to another person, you literally feel as one flesh.  It is actually difficult to put precisely into words, but I will do my best.  I am still amazed at how connected I feel to Mel.  We finish each other’s' sentences, say the same phrases at the same time, think of the same random topics at the same time, crave the same foods at the same time, and when we play board games such as Scattergories we come up with the exact same obscure answers!  

What is also funny is that when I talk about things I did before I met Mel, I will say, "When we were..." but I was just an "I" then!  Mel is so much a part of me it seems as if he was in my life even before we knew the other existed!  Mel does the same thing.  He’ll talk about his home states of Missouri or Arkansas as if I had been there with him because it often seems strange that we were ever apart!   

Mel and I have become so intertwined with each other that we can tell when the other is not feeling right without the other saying a word.  If I ask, "Is everything okay?  You don't quite seem yourself," before he says a word, and he says, "How can you tell?"  I can say, "It's because I know you so well."  It is also because I love him so much and am very in tuned to his every facial expression and tone of voice.  It shows him how much I care about what he is feeling and if he wants to talk, it opens up a great dialog, which typically ends with prayer and Mel feeling better and he does the same for me.  (This goes along with what I said last week.)

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15

Another way being of one flesh can really benefit your marriage is that it almost completely obliterates selfishness.  I wish I could be 100% selfless, but that would make me non-human!  Being so bonded with Mel makes me care for his needs so far beyond my own.  I feel his pain and joy.  It means I will do everything in my power to make sure he is happy and put his needs far above my own.

If you feel this does not describe your marriage and you feel disconnected to him/her, chances are you are not spending enough time together.  Sex in a marriage is the most pleasurable form of bonding and very fun and wonderful, but only takes half an hour or so out of your day.  Continually talking and really getting to know each other is what helps you truly know how best to make him/her happiest.  Going on walks, playing games (buying games at secondhand stores and yard sales is a super cheap way to add to your game collection), going for long drives, and Bible studies are just a few ways to spend time getting to know your spouse better.  Dating does not end just because you got married.  Marriage is having a permanent dating partner and having endless dates.  It is choosing to give up being a single person to become two people, to become one flesh! 

Open:  Be open and honest with your spouse about everything.  There should never be any secrets in your marriage.  There is no such thing as being too open or honest.  Mel and I are so very open with one another that we share everything, even the silly, insignificant details.  Of course, no one shares literally every little thought that goes through his or her head.  Sometimes it is better to keep thoughts of annoyance to yourself if it is not an issue worth discussing - something you know you will be over in an hour or two.  But letting your spouse know when he/she says something that hurts your feelings is a good idea since he/she is not always aware he/she has hurt you.  Especially speak up if you know you will still be brooding over the issue a day or two later.  It is better to make peace and clear the air.  My husband lets me know when I am too sarcastic with my tone because I cannot hear it myself.  It is a great way to improve on the way you treat your spouse when you are open about the way his/her words or actions affect you.

The only times secrets are acceptable are in areas of gifts or events.  Even then, I am horrible about surprising Mel.  I always give things away because I cannot wait to see him smile.  Plus, he is very smart about figuring out clues.  Otherwise, keeping things secret or doing things behind your partner’s back is the same as lying and is detrimental to your marriage.  If you feel the need to cover something up, chances are, it is something you should not be doing.

Some people say it is okay to lie when trying to spare your mate's feelings.  I still do not feel lying is a good idea.  If you heard someone say a rude thing about your spouse and choose not to tell him because it will hurt his feelings, that is not helping him.  I would want to know if someone was saying mean things about me so I could avoid that person.  Also, I would rather have my husband tell me when I do something that upsets him, so I do not repeat my mistakes. In addition, knowing my spouse was lying to me to spare my feelings would be more offensive to me than the truth because I do not like being treated as if I am too weak to handle the truth.

Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds.  Colossians 3:9

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

One:  Are there any areas in your marriage where you could be more united?  Perhaps you are spending too much time apart.  Consider combining activities so you can see more of each other.  Focus this week on thinking and acting not as separate entities, but as a bonded unit of one.

Art Project Option: To celebrate your oneness, create a jigsaw puzzle, for when you put the individual pieces together, they create one beautiful scene, just like you and your honey!  Here’s how I made mine: I traced actual puzzle pieces from a kids’ puzzle with large pieces approximately two inches each.  I traced the pieces of the still-put-together puzzle onto a piece of cardboard; each puzzle piece was outlined with a colorful marker so they would stand apart from one another.  Here is what I wrote (also in marker), “Our marriage is like a jigsaw puzzle.  Each piece is different and tells its own unique story – put all the pieces together, and a new picture is being formed every day!  I love how the pieces of our lives are forever interlocked – creating our own beautiful masterpiece of oneness.  Mel, you are the perfect piece my life had been missing – you complete me and now my life makes sense.  Love, Julie.”  I did not cut the pieces apart because it was temporarily on display on the dresser.  However, feel free to cut it and present it to your mate as a fun gift to be put together (if your mate enjoys puzzles) and feel free to add artwork!  Note: Cardboard does not cut smoothly so if you choose to cut it, keep in mind they do not go back together as a professional one would.  However, if you want one that can be disassembled, you can buy blank puzzles specially made for creating your own design. 

Open:  Are there any areas in your life that you are keeping hidden from your spouse?  Let all things be brought to the light this week.

Week 29 Short Video

 

Week 29 Art Project

Note: That's my hubby you hear at the end of the video.  He's just scolding the dogs because they were trying to jump onto a plate of steaks he had just barbecued and was bringing in from outside - LOL!!

Here is the completed cross-stich mentioned in the video:

Week 29: Observant & Old-Fashioned

 

Fun Activity This Week: Dress in your best outfits and go out for a night on the town.  If it is not in the budget for a nice restaurant, you could just go out for dessert, eat at a fast-food place, or just walk around town (or the mall) and wish shop.  The point is to have fun dressing up and spending a joyful night outside the house! Another option is simply dressing up in your best outfits at home and prepare a nice dinner (or have it delivered), and later go outside for a walk.

Week 29: Observant & Old-Fashioned

Observant:  Be observant and be aware when your spouse is hurting.  Sometimes your mate may not feel like talking, but you should know even the subtle signals your honey gives that alert you to when he/she is not quite right.  This can be something as simple as a bad day at work, to the beginning symptoms of a cold or flu.  Before your sweetie asks, you can offer a hand to hold, a listening ear, or some chicken soup.  Being observant may also help you notice something more serious that may require professional attention.   

As I previously mentioned, I spent seven years in law enforcement.  The first two years, four months were as a dispatcher.  We were trained to know the officers’ personalities and nuances in their voices so well that we could detect danger in the tones they used; we could send another officer their way to assist before they asked based on the slightest shift in their tone of voice.  As a husband or wife, we should be just as in tuned to every change in our partner’s facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, etc.   

Not only is this good for your loved one’s mental state, but you could well save his/her life!  For example, I have heard numerous stories of a husband or wife noticing their spouse acting a little “off,” and even though they could not put their finger on the exact problem, they insisted on a doctor’s visit.  These conscientious spouses recognized the early signs of a stroke and/or a heart attack and saved the lives of their mates.

I highly recommend reading up on the warning signs of a stroke and heart attack so you can be your partner’s first line of defense.  You should also know the warning signs of depression and suicidal tendencies so you can seek help as soon as possible.

I am certainly not trying to scare anyone but encouraging you to be vigilant in looking out for one another in all areas of your marriage.  Be your lover’s hero by being observant.

Old-Fashioned:  People who choose not to drink, smoke, sleep with those to whom they not married, take drugs, cheat, lie, etc., are often referred to as squares, goody-two-shoes, and very often called self-righteous. I would much rather have a reputation as a bore and called every single name in the book that insults moralistic behavior, than live with regrets. I may be old-fashioned, but my marriage is joyful, healthy, successful, and full of romance.

Some of our beliefs are unpopular and go against the more common ways of society. I will try to keep this as simple as possible and stick to just a few issues that the world considers as old-fashioned, but we see as a recipe for an enduring marriage.

Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.  I Corinthians 6:19-20

The bible does not say drinking alcohol is wrong. What is does say is that one is not to get drunk. However, even one drink can make one uninhibited and cause them to get another drink they thought they did not want, and then another and so on.  Even a slight buzz affects judgements more than one realizes.  Getting drunk causes one to act inappropriately and do things they would not normally do. You all know the list from minor things to excessive laughing or crying to major things like having sex with someone you are not married to and driving so reckless you take a life. Why take that chance? It is better to abstain from both alcohol and even so-called harmless drugs and remove even the slightest possibility of doing something you cannot take back. The addictive qualities of alcohol and drugs are enormous and such addictions destroy families. Working in law enforcement taught me for a fact that there is no such thing as a "harmless" drug, so do not fool yourself into thinking something such as marijuana is no big deal. It is just as much the cause of crimes, death, and family crisis as any other drug.

But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  Matthew 5:28

I will address pornography in two weeks, and I have already mentioned inappropriate clothing.  It is not healthy to watch movies with nudity or sex scenes. I will take this one step further and say you should even turn the movie off if the characters are dressed too provocatively. Allowing yourself to be sexually stirred up by someone other than your spouse is a line that should not be crossed. Be brutally honest with yourself, and if you are feeling titillated by watching a movie star (or talk show host/ news anchor, etc.) show off way too much flesh, have the courage to turn off whatever it is you are watching. Your spouse will not chastise you for admitting to these feelings and will be grateful you are so loyal to him/her, that you are willing to say, "Enough!" to smut.  More on television in ten weeks.

Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.  I Corinthians 7:1-3

We do not believe in hugging people of the opposite sex (with the exception of relatives). That may seem odd to some, but it is a Biblical principal. What Paul was saying (in the above verse) is that it is not wise to tempt yourself with the flesh of someone not your spouse, and that we should save our affections for only our mate. Not everyone who wants a hug has bad intentions, but many men have admitted that hugging any woman is a turn on to them. Mel over-heard men in his former church say they could not wait until the part of the service when the pastor suggested hugging other church members because there were several women they were anxious to get their arms around. The only person Mel and I want to stimulate is each other. If someone tries to hug you, quickly offer a friendly handshake. It is better to rule on the side of caution and risk hurting a few feelings. Whenever we have offered a hand over a hug, no one has been offended. Even if one is put off, it is better to offend them than insult your spouse by allowing another person to find pleasure in your embrace.  Or risk that you would be the one stimulated (I have known plenty women just as guilty of lustful desires apart from their husband, so I am not excluding women in this).

To keep you from the evil woman, From the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, Nor let her allure you with her eyelids. For by means of a harlot A man is reduced to a crust of bread; And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life. Can a man take fire to his bosom, And his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, And his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; Whoever touches her shall not be innocent. Proverbs 6:24-29

It is worth saying again that affairs are toxic. Even friendships with the opposite sex are dangerous, and I strongly suggest that once you get married, you have the rule never to spend time alone with someone of the opposite sex, and this includes over the phone or computer. If you have the need to confide in someone other than your mate (which I do not recommend as you and your spouse should be open and upfront with each other about all things), make sure that person is of the same sex unless a parent, sibling, or other blood relative. If you desire a girls' only or guys' only night out, that is fine, but be sure it is truly JUST the girls or guys and that the activity you participate in does not compromise your marriage.      

"For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence," Says the Lord of hosts.  Malachi 2:16

Divorce is not an option other than over the issue of an affair or abuse (this includes your children). People today would much rather call it quits than to work things out. When people choose the option on the divorce papers that says, "Irreconcilable Differences," they are simply saying they refuse to try to fix things. I have said many times that there is no shame in seeking counseling if you cannot work things out on your own. I Corinthians 7:10-16 says that it is better to stay together even if one of the spouses is not a believer, as your faith very well may win him/her over.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her… So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church…  “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh...” let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33

I am saving this issue for last, because if you stick to this principal first and foremost, everything else will naturally fall into place for a joyful and peaceful marriage. The world says that it is okay for the wife to rule the family and bully her husband. In fact, Hollywood shows most marriages with the women nagging her husband while he complies but later complains to his buddies, and then drools over other women behind her back. Being submissive to your spouse and allowing him to be the leader is probably the most old-fashioned value of all the above, and yet the most important.

With all this said, I want to make it clear that Iam in no way claiming perfection in any area of my life, and I could be even more old-fashioned and have even less of the world in me. However, the point is that following the principles from The Bible may seem old-fashioned, but they are a sure formula for a wonderful, lasting, fun, delightful, and satisfying marriage!

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:

Observant:  How well do you know your mate?  Be extra observant this week and even play a game with yourself to see if you can guess what your honey is feeling before he/she tells you.  Hone in on all your partner’s non-verbal clues.  How does his/her voice sound when he/she is happy, sad, anxious, scared, sick, etc.  What facial expressions are normal and what would be considered a warning sign that you may need to seek counseling or call an ambulance?  If you cannot answer all of these questions or are unsure, please ask your mate and show how much you care about one another. 

Also, if you have never done so, consider taking a CPR/First Aid class (include your children if they are old enough); some cities offer this class for free or at a low rate.  If it is something you cannot afford, at least watch a video on-line and/or buy a book on basic First Aid. Also, as I mentioned above, study up on the signs someone may be suicidal as mental health can be just as important as physical.

Here are some helpful links:

Signs of a stroke: https://www.cdc.gov/stroke/signs_symptoms.htm

Signs of a heart attack: https://www.cdc.gov/heartdisease/heart_attack.htm

Signs of suicidal tendencies: https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/prevention/

Art Project Option: Show your mate that you are observant to all that is important to him/her.  If you want to spend money you can buy an item or two that he/she collects.  But to keep this within your weekly budget, you can create this week’s art project.  Go through your pictures and choose the ones that show you and/or your mate doing something he/she loves.  For example, my husband loves trains, and whenever we are near a train, even if it is just a lawn decoration, I take a picture of him next to it.  You could either buy a collage picture frame or turn these photos into a scrapbook page to frame, decorated with paper and/or stickers to match the theme.  If your honey is into a specific sports team, you could make the collage of him/her wearing clothing that represents that team, even if it is just the colors and not a specific hat or shirt with the team’s logo.  If your mate is into something he has never been around such as whales, lighthouses, castles, rockets, etc. but you have never seen one in person and/or you have no pictures to frame, you could choose pictures of them off the internet or from magazines and frame them instead. You do not have to make a collage of course but find a way to use your husband/wife's favorite things to make any type of art project you choose this week.

Old-Fashioned:  In what ways do you feel you may be walking too much in the world?  Is there anything you need to give up this week: alcohol, pornography, physical contact with the opposite sex?  Be old-fashioned together and your marriage will feel shiny and new!

    One suggestion this week is to have an old-fashioned day (include the kids if you so choose).  Spend approximately twelve hours without modern conveniences.  Walk or bike ride to your destination (if possible), enjoy an activity outside such as a park (or in your own backyard) where you can cook your meal over a barbecue grill or campfire.  Turn off electronic entertainment and read together or play sports or board games.  If you can afford it and it is the right time of year, you may even consider this a fun time to enjoy at least one day of primitive camping.  Whatever you choose, end the day by candlelight or by the light of a fireplace or campfire, and remind yourselves of how old-fashioned values does not include living in a tent every day or giving up electricity, but will absolutely enhance your family life.