Fun Activity This Week: Start a Bible study together. It can be any length on any subject. If you regularly read the Bible together, you can still think of a new subject into which you would like to delve deeper and plan a new study as soon as you can. Also, if you are comfortable with it, consider leading or hosting a study in your own home. However, if you are the teacher, make sure God is calling you to be a leader and follow through on practicing what you preach!
Week 4: Boldness & Bride of Christ
Boldness: It is vital to the health of our marriage that we are bold in taking a stand for each other.
Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her... Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. Proverbs 31:10, 11, & 23
This is not, I am sure, the actual translation of these verses, but I believe what I am going to write about falls in the same category. They do not specifically instruct the wife to boldly stand up for her husband when others mock him, but can’t you see where that would fit with the theme? I will explain further. The virtuous woman’s husband “safely trusts her,” which means he can trust that her conversation behind his back will be pure and honorable. She will not backstab him, and she will defend him when her friends or family speak ill of him. This ties in with verse 23 as well. To me this says her husband has a good reputation. He is “known in the gates” and even “sits among the elders,” which could also mean he holds a position of authority. Would a man be held in high regard if his wife gossiped about him to her friends and said nothing when others insulted him? Of course not! They would wonder why his wife was so disrespectful and he would most likely lose his place of honor. These same principles apply for the husband in the way he treats his wife as well.
The subjects that God puts on my heart to write about for this blog are not all based on personal circumstances, some are simply what come to my mind when I pray about what to write. This subject, however, is both personal and God-inspired. It comes in two parts:
When Mel was posting scriptures and speaking out against the gay lifestyle on his blog and on Facebook, he got a lot of heat for speaking the Truth of scripture. There were some people I had been friends with for a long time that came against my husband. I was able to forgive what they said, but when someone turns against the man I love with hateful words/actions, they are no longer welcome in my life. Of course, I agree with my husband’s Biblical views against homosexuality, and I will always take a stand for Christ, but this was just as much about boldly showing solidarity with my spouse. Mel and I are of one mind as we are one. I am very proud of my hubby; his boldness and strength of character are some of the things that made me fall in love with him!
Now I come to the second part of why I wanted to write on this topic. We had some issues with friends not supporting our marriage. There were quite a lot of instances, but for the sake of not dwelling on the negative (all issues have been forgiven), I will not go into specifics. The point is that these people dishonored our marriage when they were disrespectful to my husband. I will not tolerate that from anyone, nor does God expect me (or you) to. My husband and I are one. If you insult him, you insult me. When he hurts, I hurt. If you make it clear you do not want to be around him and make him feel unwanted, then I have no desire to be with you.
I know this may sound harsh, but I believe that a Biblical couple stands up for each other and stands by each other’s side no matter what! Therefore, I will speak the Truth in love, and hope all of you boldly stand up for your spouse when others criticize him/her or your marriage. I did not marry my friends or even family members, I married Mel, the love of my life, and he is whom I will defend.
Just one quick note to make things clear: This week is only from the perspective of standing up for a Godly spouse that is being unfairly treated for whatever reason and being loyal to him/her above anyone else. I would never tell anyone to stand up for a spouse doing anything immoral or illegal. Obviously, if your spouse needs to be punished by the law, you must do the right thing and alert the police, especially if it involves injury to you, a child, or another adult!
Bride of Christ: I am aware that when The Bible speaks of the bride of Christ, it has to do with the church. However, the idea that formulated in my heart revolves around more of a personal relationship as an individual bride.
I was prompted to write on this topic while Mel and I were both miserably suffering with a flu that lasted longer than two weeks (this was around 2017, long before COVID). It was one of those flus where all we could do was sleep for twenty hours a day and everything hurt. I was running a 102-degree fever for four days, and Mel ended up in the emergency room because he passed out twice. Not fun! In a rare moment when I was awake and somewhat alert, I started thinking of how frustrating it can be to live in a fallen world where such potentially deadly flus exist. Just because we make Jesus Lord of our lives, it does not make us exempt from such things. Life happens, and we have to learn to roll with the punches. Part of such an attitude is thinking of my relationship with Christ as I do my wedding vows. I will be loyal to God in sickness and in health and in richer and poorer. The good news is, I do not have to add, “Until death do us part,” because God has given us the gift of eternal life with Him if we repent of our sins and daily walk in ways of holiness.
Just as I will always be faithful to my precious earthly husband, I always want to be an honorable bride for my heavenly husband as well. Jesus will come back for a bride who has done her best to live a life separated from the world, daily died to the flesh, followed the teachings and attributes of Christ, and placed Jesus as Lord of her life above all others. We are not expected to be perfect, but we must choose to cast off our old natures and sins, and desire to be the best we can be in order to be a Light for others and please our Creator.
That He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:27
Being a loving wife to my Mel does not end after the honeymoon, I must make the right daily choices to be respectful, romantic, and kind. And, yes, it is a daily choice with my relationship with Christ as well, not a one-time prayer. Getting on your knees to ask Jesus into your heart is not a prayer of salvation, it is a prayer of new beginnings. Only those who endure to the end will be saved, salvation is a free gift, but you have to choose to accept it, and it can be lost (at the very least, read Revelation chapters 2 & 3), just as earthly marriages can be lost to infidelity, abuse, and lack of love and respect.
In June 2024, Mel and I will have been married for twelve years, but people still tell us how cute we are and think we are newlyweds. Our bond grows stronger because we put forth the effort to communicate and never stop learning about each other. We are still discovering and telling new stories of our pasts. Even telling or hearing the same stories multiple times reemphasizes how well we know each other when we realize how well we know a particular story. (In other words, don’t be rude when your spouse repeats something; smile that you know exactly what he/she is going to say next because you two are so bonded.) We are best friends and spend hours a day talking, going for walks, playing games, reading, and praising the Lord. If we ignored each other all day, let the romance fade, and spent the majority of our time apart, our marriage would fizzle. Instead, we keep the flames of love and romance alive because we are so much in love, we never want to extinguish our inferno. The same is very true in my approach with my walk in the Lord. I want to make certain I never cease trying to learn all I can about His teachings. I read my Bible to remind myself of His Truths. Even after hearing or reading the Word of God for more than fifty-one years, I still discover new things I never considered or simply overlooked. Just as I keep the lines of communication open with Mel, I make sure to tell God how I feel.
One of the best ways to show Mel I love and accept him is to pay him compliments. As you know, I am very much against spouses being nags. Treat your honey like a cherished partner, not like your child. I have made the majority of the same art projects I suggest in this book for my hubby as well other items not listed here. It is a fun and romantic way to show Mel each week how much I love him and how much he means to me. Although I am obviously not going to make art projects for the Lord, I should still put forth the effort to always tell God how much I love Him and appreciate all He does for me; tell God I love Him just for Who He is. Prayer, praise, and worship are the best ways to show Jesus how much I love Him, as well as using my talents to bring glory to His name.
For scripture verses on being the “literal” bride of Christ, or more specifically, the verses that relate to the church see Revelation 21:1-7 & Revelation 22:16-17. You can make these personal and apply them to your individual actions.
Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:
Boldness: Make a conscious effort this week to keep your ears open for any negative talk about your spouse. Be quick to boldly defend each other, no matter who the speaker may be. In addition, make sure you are not being a hypocrite; do not speak behind each other’s back unless it is to plan a surprise or unless you are saying words of commendation.
Art Project Option: Create a word poem out of the letters in the word BOLD or BOLDNESS. You can use the simple one I wrote or write your own personalized version. You can make the letters out of patterned paper, use stencils, or even simply write it or type it and print it out. Here is the one I wrote. It is not really a poem, but each letter is advice meant to inspire boldness in your marriage.
Honey, I will:
Boldly and
Openly
Learn to be
Daring;
Never let anyone
Ever harm you; I will
Stand up for you and I will
Stand up for our marriage!
Bride of Christ: Are there any ways in which you are not reflecting the image of a bride of Christ to your husband or others? Do your words and actions represent Christ? If not, ask your mate to help you work on changing your behaviors to help you be a better Christian and a better spouse.
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