Week 9 Art Project

 

Week 9: Escape & Evangelize

Fun Activity This Week:  Eliminate all electronic entertainment for one day and focus more on one another.  Save your phones for only very important calls, and instead of texting all your friends, talk to your spouse.  Turn off the computer games and play a game together instead.  You get the idea! 

 

Week 9: Escape & Evangelize

 

Escape:  Escaping the lives of the everyday stresses of life is a wonderful way to keep your marriage alive.  Simply taking a relaxing bath together is a romantic and blissful way to relieve whatever the world has thrown at you this week.  However, the reason I chose this word has nothing to do with escaping from the outside world; it has to do with resisting the negative forces that could destroy your marriage.

We are all faced with many temptations throughout the course of marriage. There are many, some of which I am sure I am not even aware.  The most common are temptations to give up and walk away when the going gets tough, temptations to be disrespectful, seeking an independent life apart from your spouse, not following God’s design for leadership, and temptations to cheat.  God, however, knows our weaknesses and The Bible promises that He will always give us many opportunities to escape all temptations.  

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

All one needs to do is walk away.  It really is that simple.  Better yet, do not even get to the place where you need an escape.  You would not intentionally walk across four lanes of heavy traffic at night in a big city wearing all black, so why would you put your marriage at risk.  If you are addicted to pornography, turn off the Internet and television and do not pick up filthy magazines.  If you are so tempted that you cannot even turn on the Internet without seeking scantily clad women on social media or "innocent" clothing websites, as well as going to the more obvious pornographic sites, cancel your Internet service. 

Hotels all have fire escape routes posted in each room, so you should also have a solid plan of escape from ever being tempted to cheat.  Mel and I have a rule other people in successful marriages also have, and which I suggest you should adopt as well.  Never be alone with a person of the opposite sex unless he/she is a family member related through blood (in other words not in-laws, some step relatives, or your spouse's relatives not related to you).  If you have a job where this is inevitable, then do not be in a location where you are shut alone in a room; open the door or invite a coworker to join.  If you start to feel even small pangs of feelings for another person, walk away.  Change shifts at work or quit if the urge is too strong.  It is better to change jobs than defy God and lose your marriage.  On a quick note: I have worked jobs where I was alone with a man but felt zero desire to betray my husband. Therefore, if you truly are not tempted to cheat, then changing jobs is not necessary. I only suggest this if you are struggling with being unfaithful.

Do not even allow yourself to be involved in more than a very casual friendship with someone of the opposite sex.  Most people spend more time with their co-workers than their own spouse, and for some it is easy to form unhealthy attachments to the wrong person.  If you find yourself feeling distant from your mate, rather than cling to the wrong person, make an effort to reconnect with the one with whom you made vows of fidelity.  You can always find at least half an hour before work for coffee together.  It is better to lose a little sleep than lose your marriage.  Husbands, rather than sitting alone at the computer while your wife cooks dinner, join her in the kitchen and reconnect.  Help her out, or just chat. (Same for if the husband is cooking dinner.)  Wives, don’t say you are too busy to talk, you can talk to him and work at the same time.  You get the idea! 

Other than simply walking away from the things and people that tempt us, we need to pray a wall of protection against our family and ourselves.  When Jesus taught his disciples to pray, he told them they should ask to be kept far away from unholy enticements.  Remember to ask God to keep you from evil every day.  

For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. In this manner, therefore, pray: And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.   Matthew 6:8-9 & 13

Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.  Matthew 26:41

Evangelize:  It is a great blessing as a couple to reach out to others and share the Word of God.  Not everyone is called to be a Paul or Peter.  However, we can reach out in small ways, one person at a time.  I am a very shy person, which is why I write.  My husband is very outgoing, which is why he can get behind the pulpit.  Utilize your strengths rather than shrinking behind your weaknesses. 

Other than witnessing to a friend or co-worker, I recommend evangelizing with another person (preferably your mate) or with a team because this can be a very dangerous world, and this not only protects your marriage from false accusations and unwanted attention, but also protects you from physical harm as well.  If you feel called to help people in dangerous areas of a town, make sure you check in with the local police so they know you are there and can give you advice as well as protection as needed. God is able to protect us, but we also need to be wise. 

Pray where God would like to use you.  If you are serious about ministry, I recommend fasting and praying for guidance from the Holy Spirit.  Ask God to reveal His plans to you in a dream or through the mouth of another person.  Just be careful that any person that uses the words, “God told me…” this or that, that what they are suggesting is not anything that goes against Biblical principles or that their false prophesies will put money in their pocket!  If God puts a desire in your heart, He will find a way to equip you with the money, talent, and other resources required.  

If you and your mate feel you have two entirely different dreams of evangelizing (she wants to build orphanages in Africa, he wants to preach in American cities), find a way to do both, do not dismiss what God is calling each of you to do.  Most likely, however, God put the two of you together to serve as a team because you are like-minded and have the same evangelical goals.

Pray also that God will bring people into your lives to whom you can share the love of Jesus Christ on an individual basis such as co-workers, neighbors, family members, and even strangers.  If you do not quite know what to say, simply hand them a gospel tract.  However, if God brings a particular person to you, He believes you can help.  The Holy Spirit will let you know what to say; just say a silent prayer for guidance before you speak. 

Before I was married, I once had a deaf roommate whose alarm clock would go off for an hour or longer before she would hear it and get ready for work.  Because she had a little bit of hearing left, she would eventually hear the alarm, rise, and go to work.  Our evangelistic mindset must be like an alarm clock for those who are spiritually deaf.  Somewhere deep down they can still hear what we say and want to know the Truth.  It will eventually sink in, and they will be ready to rise and go to work for the Lord.  We must not cease praying for God to open their eyes and soften their hearts, so they are receptive to hearing the Truth. 

It is very difficult for anyone to swallow their pride and admit they have been wrong for many years, especially if this person sees himself as a leader or expert.  We must pray for patience and understanding for these people.  As a former preacher’s kid, I was once one of those too stubborn to listen to alternate theories.  I thought I knew it all.  Ultimately, my daily Bible study opened my eyes to the contradictions taught in most churches.  I was at a point in my life where I was spiritually sensitive enough to hear God’s voice and accept correction from Him.  My Bible studies continue to keep my eyes wide open to the Truths in the Bible that are misrepresented in most churches.  A typical prayer for me is that God will reveal any errors in my theologies so I may adjust them.  As you ask God for evangelistic opportunities, I pray you will also have an open heart to hear all that God wishes to teach you.

When you share Jesus together, it will truly bond you together tighter.  Whether it is teaching Sunday school, serving in a soup kitchen, singing for Jesus, handing out tracts, writing blogs, or just speaking with people in Wal-Mart, sharing your faith is a great way to build your marriage.

And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.”  Mark 16:15

 

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week: 

 

Escape:  Start making it a habit this week to pray together that God will keep your marriage pure and keep all temptations at bay.  Pray also that you will always use the escape route God has pre-planned for you.

Art Project Idea:  A Mizpah is a Biblical term that means “watch,” taken from Genesis 31 when Jacob and his father-in-law parted ways.  Most people use the word Mizpah to describe a piece of jewelry that is two hearts broken in half, and two different people each wear half.  Sometimes Genesis 31:49 is written across the two halves.  For the sake of this week, and the significance of the Mizpah, I want you to also consider verses 48-50:  Therefore its name was… Mizpah, because he said, "May the Lord watch between you and me when we are absent one from another. If you afflict my daughters, or if you take other wives besides my daughters, although no man is with us--see, God is witness between you and me!"

You do not have to use all three verses but make a Mizpah this week using the words at least from verse 49 and make sure you and your partner understand the significance that God is always watching both of you, even when you are apart.  When you look at your half of the Mizpah, think of it as a good escape plan: to be mindful that God’s eyes are very vigilant. 

Make a heart as large or as small as you would like out of any material you would like.  I suggest cardboard to keep it from falling apart.  Color it or paste colored paper on it if you like but write or type and print the words to Genesis 31:49 on it in bold letters, then cut it in half.  You and your spouse will each carry a half with you when you are apart such as placing it on your desk at work or home, on a dresser, or even on the refrigerator.  You could also make a tiny one (with just the verse reference since the words will not fit) and you can each keep half in a wallet or pocket.   

Note:  Of course, you can always spend the money to buy a Mizpah in jewelry (or keychain) form if you so choose.  

Evangelize: Find a fun way to share your faith together this week.  Tell your server you are about to pray over your meal and ask her if she has any prayer requests.  Tell the clerk at the store you appreciate his hard work and smile and offer to pray for him.  Or if he is grouchy, tell him you are sorry he is having a bad day (without using sarcasm) and offer to pray.  Want to take it a step farther?  Mel and I have written a series of gospel tracks.  If you would like any of our tracts, please contact me through a Facebook message (click or tap on the link on the right side of this blog site), and I will gladly send you a free copy you can print out.

Week 8 Short Video

When I made this video in 2019, I was trying out my web cam for the first time. Sorry for the weird angle, LOL! 

Also, on another note, in this video I mentioned I was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. After my initial diagnosis in 2019, in 2022 my neurologist later recanted his findings and said he did not know what type of neurological disorder I have and now refuses to classify my condition as MS. It is a very long and frustrating story, but 4 1/2 years later, I still do not have a definitive diagnosis, other than confirmed lesions in my brain, a long list of issues all down the length of my neck and spine, and every symptom of MS. After dealing with 2 types of cancer last year, I no longer stress over a neurological diagnosis, and just deal with living in God's strength one day at a time.

Week 8 Art Project

 

This week's art project was to "create a new notebook (or scrapbook) that is about the dreams you share together."  This is the cover of ours.

Week 8: Divorce & Dream

Fun Activity This Week:  Donate time, money, food and/or any miscellaneous items to charity.

Week 8: Divorce & Dream 

Divorce:  "For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence," Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously.” Malachi 2:16

If there are issues that cause you and/or your children physical or sexual harm, you do not need to stick around for the illegal and immoral actions of a partner that refuses to change.  However, most other problems can be resolved, even, in some cases, adultery.  The first step is for both of you to commit your marriage to Jesus and promise to follow His principles.

Admitting you have a problem is step number two.  If you need to seek counseling, please do so. Even if you are leery of being too personal with a stranger, then please realize that being vulnerable very well may prevent a divorce. Do not refuse reconciliation because you are scared of opening up to explore your faults or sins. You need to face your fears to save your marriage.  Choose an unbiased party such as a pastor from a church you do not attend or a seek out a (preferably) Christian counselor.

The worst thing you can do is give up.  In addition to counseling, there are other courses of action I would suggest.  Even if just for a day, take a trip together, away from the kids and other outside influences.  There are many resources on the Internet and in books but be careful whom to trust.  Not all people that label themselves as a Christian ministry are of God.  If they suggest you do anything that does not line up with Biblical principles, walk away. 

Even if you are not in danger of divorce, I still highly recommend seeking out any kind of couple’s retreat or conference hosted by a Biblically sound church (even if you have to drive a little out of your way).  If you cannot afford their fees, most offer scholarships.  Do not be embarrassed to ask for financial help, think of it as a priceless way of helping your marriage.

Additionally, you may assume that if you are currently unequally yoked with an unbeliever that you must get divorced, but it is clear that the Lord does not expect you to get a divorce, but just the opposite. (More on this in week 49.)

Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed.  I Corinthians 7:10-16 & 27

Dream:  It is a bonding experience to dream with your mate.  When you share your deepest dreams and desires with one another, you learn all about your mate’s heart.  Mel and I both have the dream to travel.  Traveling abroad would be wonderful, but not very affordable, and not always safe.  Therefore, our dream is to discover more of our own country.  I started a notebook around seven years ago with fifty-one sections, one for each state, the extra one is a page for Washington, DC.  Each time we find free travel magazines, we snatch them up.  I began cutting out pages and articles on all the places we would love to see.  

Beyond just the dream of travel, Mel and I have always dreamed of being used for the Lord.  We want to help win souls for eternity.  We are both writers and want to use our gifts to help others.  We support each other’s books, blogs, Facebook pages, and write together on occasion.  Knowing that God has given us the same dreams and desires to help people in the same ways has enhanced our marriage.

There are times when your dreams may entice you to go in the opposite direction from your spouse.  Say you want to open a BBQ restaurant in Kansas City, but your wife wants to start a bed and breakfast in Maine.  Do not split up and go your separate ways even temporality.  While I believe both partners have a right to follow their dreams, your ultimate goal is to keep your marriage together.  This is where the art of compromise will come into play.  If neither one is willing to yield on location, the couple with two locations in mind could split the difference and live somewhere in the middle and open a bed and breakfast that specializes in succulent BBQ.  (Sign me up for that place!)

What you should not do when your dreams do not line up is to try to manipulate the other into changing his/her mind, as you would not want this tactic used on you.  Do not pout until you get your own way, but calmly learn to talk about your plans or let the issue go altogether.  The best thing to do, however, is to pray that both of you are within God’s will and that He will open all the right doors to your dreams He deems acceptable.  

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:

 Divorce:  Take the time to examine your marriage this week.  Whatever you need to do to divorce-proof your relationship, please do so.  (Week 9 will give more ideas on this.)  Plan at least one full day this week apart from work and kids to reconnect.  If you can afford it, go to a hotel on neutral territory.  If not, try to send the kids to friends’ homes, turn off all electronic devices, and focus on each other; make the goal to fix whatever is tempting to split you apart. Problem solve as necessary but do your very best not to fight.  Be rational and listen to what the other has to say. P.S. Getting away for at least twenty-four hours is revitalizing to do even if you are not in danger of divorce.   

 

Dream:  Five weeks ago, for the word, “believe,” I suggested giving your spouse a notebook that shows you believe in his/her ambitions.  Now is a good time to go over the notebook(s) and continue to show your support. 

Art Project Option: You can now create a new notebook (or scrapbook) that is about the dreams you share together.  Be specific when you create the cover and name your dream in the title of the book such as, “Our Dream to see all 50 States,” “Our Dream Ministry,” “Our Dream House,” or “Our Dream for Children,” etc.  You can cut out pictures from magazines to paste onto the pages, or simply write about your dreams and track your progress.