Week 19: Jealous & Jesus

Fun Activity This Week: Journey outside your own city or county for some new fun!  If you do not know anything about the next city or county, use the Yellow Pages (on or off-line) as your guide. 

Week 19: Jealous & Jesus 

Jealous:   Love does not envy [is not jealous].  I Corinthians 13:4

Some people interpret the above scripture by stating that we are not to be jealous of other people in our spouse’s life.  Others say it means we are not to be jealous of our spouse.  While I agree with the latter, that we are to rejoice in all our spouse accomplishments, I actually disagree with the former.  Guarding your relationship with jealousy is prudent.

Jealousy may seem like a negative thing to write about, but it can actually be very positive when it comes to you and your mate.  It is a wise thing to guard your marriage with a jealous love just as Christ has for us.  Christ does not want us to pursue other interests that take our focus off our relationship with Him, and we should have the same focus when it comes to our marriage. 

I am also speaking of being possessive of your spouse.  I am not talking of unhealthy paranoia or unwarranted mistrust of your mate.  What I am referring to is keeping your eyes wide open to anyone who may want to corrupt your marriage either for their own sake or for the sake of trying to break you up based on their own jealousy.

I have always felt that cheating on your spouse was abhorrent, but since I have been married, I see it one hundred times more so. It helps me realize even more why The Bible says in Exodus 34:14, “For you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God." I am also a very jealous wife. This jealousy is based on how much I love and adore Mel. I am possessive of him just as God is with me. That makes so much more sense to me now than before I was married. I would not cheat on my husband because I love him so much, and he loves me. In turn, I would not cheat on God with a false god (or worship a religion, or put an idol before Him, etc.) because I love God and He loves me.

Mel and I have a very jealous love for one another, and I believe God designed our marriages to be that way. It is very healthy and there is nothing wrong with being possessive of your spouse. I am not talking about being a creepy bully; you can read more about having a healthy grip in week 14.  In fact, I tend to think there is something wrong in your marriage if you are not jealous of other people actively seeking to take your spouse's attention away from you. You should want to guard your marriage with a fortress and arsenal full of weapons (this includes God and prayer). It does not mean you mistrust your spouse. I trust Mel, but I also do not want any woman near him that flirts with him. I know my Mel is trustworthy, but it is a matter of protecting my marriage against predators. Even those that inflict unwanted attention but say they would never act on their feelings must be kept at arm’s length and even removed from our lives if necessary. Our love for each other goes far higher and deeper than any friendship and we are more loyal to each other than to anyone else. If you cannot say that about your partner in life, then I think your marriage needs evaluating. For when you get married, you are truly flesh of one flesh (Genesis 2:23-24) which means you are one - you are bonded. No one should come between you. No one means no one. 

Jesus:  Of all the advice I have and will ever give, this is the most important.  If all you read from this website/Facebook page are the next few paragraphs, it will be enough.  When you make the precious trinity, Jesus Christ, God, and the Holy Spirit, the center of your marriage, everything else falls into place.  This is not just a statement people make to placate one another; it is a proven fact. That is not to say that all marriages that call themselves Christian are healthy.  Going to church and reading your Bible is not enough to sustain your marriage.  You must put into practice God's commandments and live lives holy and pleasing unto to Lord (Romans 12:1-2).  Marriages with a sincere faith in Christ that walk the walk and talk the talk are less likely to divorce.   For one thing, you are not striving just to please your spouse, but to honor the Creator of the Universe, and He will honor you and your marriage for choosing to separate yourselves from the world.

The principles of Jesus Christ are the perfect foundations for marriage.  I believe in reading the entire Bible.  Especially focus on the four gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), particularly the words spoken by Jesus, and put them into practice, you will have a lasting marriage.

When you both imitate Jesus, not Moses, not Paul, not your mama and papa, or any celebrity or politician, I guarantee you, your marriage will flourish and be full of love.  I am certainly not promising a strife-free life (John 16:33), but whatever you face, your marriage will not only survive, but also thrive when you endeavor to be like Jesus.  

When you humbly spend time in prayer and communication with the Lord, it affects your entire attitude.  The better you get to know God, the kinder and gentler you will be with your spouse. Your marriage will be more peaceful, more respectful; it will be a pure and safe place.

 

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:

 

Jealous:  This week listen to your gut instincts.  Is there anyone that creates jealous feelings whenever they are around because he/she flirts too much with your spouse?  Talk about it with your mate.  If one of you chooses to confront that person, do so in love.  If you need to put space or even a permanent separation between you and said person, do not feel guilty; your marriage comes first!  

Art Project Option: This project will cost money, but the cheapest option is $1 or less.  Show your mate you love him/her with a healthy, jealous love!  When I think of jealousy, I think of the color green (green with envy).  Cover a little box with green construction, wrapping, or scrapbook paper.  Be as creative as you can and place in one or all of the following fun green things such as green candles, a nice smelling perfume that comes in green, green soap or body wash, green candy (such as green M&Ms or jellybeans, etc.) or cookies (for all these things think apple, pear, watermelon, even basil or pistachio).  You could even find sexy lingerie or boxers in green to add to your box.  Make a little sign for the box out of cardboard attached to a Popsicle stick that says something like, “I Love you With a Jealous Love.” And of course, you do not have to choose green, any color will do; the theme of a healthy form of jealous love is all that matters here!    

Jesus:  To further understand the teachings of Jesus, read together any (or all) of the four gospels and focus on the verses about loving one another.  Discuss what you have read and how it relates to how you should treat each other.