Week 45 Art Project

This week's art project was: "Create an armor based on the... weapons of spiritual warfare.  There are a variety of ways you can do this:  Draw pictures of yourselves dressed in armor or use photographs and Photoshop armor onto the both of you.  You could draw just the armor itself or print the pictures off the Internet.  Whichever you choose, be certain to label each piece of armor such as 'Helmet of Salvation,' 'Breastplate of Righteousness,' etc. and include the scripture reference of Ephesians 6:11-18 or include all the words from those scriptures.  Frame it if you so choose, but at least display it where you can both be reminded that God is on your side.  You can also do a spiritual check each time you look at the picture and ask yourself if you are lacking any weapons of warfare. If so, pray for God to help you put them on." Here are two of my interpretations of the Armor of God.

Week 45: Weapons of Warfare & Wise

 

 Fun Activity This Week: Write love letters to one another listing all the wonderful qualities you adore.  Read them aloud and do not rush through the romantic moments.

Week 45: Weapons of Warfare & Wise

Weapons of Warfare:  Spiritual warfare is very real, and Satan would love to see all marriages fail.  Stay equipped in the whole armor of God, and you can defeat your enemy against every attack!

I could write an entire book on this subject, but instead I will do my best to keep this brief.  I have quickly summed up how the weapons of spiritual warfare can be applied to your marriage.

Belt of Truth: While being truthful is imperative, this is more about being armed with the Truths of God’s Word.  The lies of the world and false preachers will harm your marriage. When Jesus was tempted by Satan in the wilderness (Luke 4:1-13), He was able to defeat His enemy and send him fleeing by quoting the Truth of scripture.  When we keep this belt securely in place, we can also send the devil running.

Breastplate of Righteousness:  When both husband and wife strive to live lives of righteousness (see 1 Corinthians 9:24-27), they are guaranteed a joyful marriage even when circumstances are difficult.  The breastplate protects one’s heart and when you choose not to live according to the ways of the world, you protect the heart of your mate as well.  When you give into sin, you give into Satan, but walking on the straight and narrow path of holy living keeps Jesus on your side.   

To grant us that we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve Him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before Him all the days of our life.  Luke 1:74-75

Shoes of Peace: Hebrews 12:14 perfectly sums up the way we should treat our mate, “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.”  When we choose to actively chase after a peaceful life and existence, it is as important as striving for holiness.  You will not see God nor share His eternal home if you choose to be argumentative, discordant, and bitter.  Verse 15 adds, “looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.”  Keep these shoes on all times and you will give no room for the Devil to interfere with your marriage.

Shield of Faith:  Faith in God when life and/or marriage seems hopeless will help you keep a positive attitude even in the dark times.  When you read the below passage in Ephesians 6, you will see verse 16 tells us that the shield is the most important and will literally keep Satan’s arrows from hitting His target: our marriages.  

Hebrews 11:1 is sometimes difficult for me to put into practice.  It states, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”  I am overly logical.  How can I trust what I cannot see?  Lack of faith is doubtless the area I struggle most with in my walk with the Lord.  But when I use my shield of faith, even when it is small, I can quiet the over-analytical side of my brain and focus on the promises of God.  I can quench the darts of doubt Satan hurls at me and embrace the joys of my marriage that much more. 

Helmet of Salvation:  It is so difficult to write such a brief section on the Armor of God, but this one is particularly difficult for me to sum up in so short a space.  Our salvation may begin when we say the “sinner’s prayer,” but it does not end there. Unless we follow the principles of Jesus, we could lose that salvation. We must guard our walk with the Lord until the day we die.  Philippians 2:12 tells us we must, “work out [our] own salvation with fear and trembling,” which means our salvation is a continual work in progress.   This is a long subject, but for further reading, you can read (at the least) Revelation chapters 2 & 3 for more clarity.

What it comes down to is the same concept as the Breastplate of Righteousness; we must daily choose to wear this helmet of right living in order to keep our marriages safely out of the enemy’s claws.

Sword of the Spirit:  This Sword is the Word of God, and just as with the Belt, we can wield it at Satan’s ugly head by quoting scripture and being confident of its Truths.  Psalm 119:11 reminds us that when we keep God’s “Word… hidden in [our] heart,” it will inspire and encourage us “not [to] sin against” God.  The principles of the Bible will protect our marriage as well as any sword ever protected any brave knight!

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit.  Ephesians 6:11-18

Wise:  We are to be "wise as serpents and harmless as doves" (Matthew 10:16).  It is wisdom to protect our marriages in such a manner.  This means we are to treat everyone with kindness and gentleness but be careful whom we allow into our lives.  Mel and I both try to be kind to everyone wherever we go, but that does not mean we are going to let just anyone into a close relationship.  It is very possible to show the love of God to people and have a good relationship with them without visiting each other's homes or being friends with them outside of church or work.

As I mentioned above, spiritual warfare is real, and the enemy will try to send people into your lives to try to interfere with and possibly even destroy your marriage.  Pray for wisdom and discernment whenever considering making new friends that you plan to socialize with on a regular basis.  Ask God to block people from your lives that could be harmful, and you will find things being revealed in their character that you may have never expected was there.  It is okay to see less of people and even completely weed people out of your lives if you feel they are a threat in any way.  And listen to your spouse's warnings to you if he/she feels a certain person needs to be released from your lives.  

I hope this concept does not sound too harsh, but it is a Biblical principle.  Using wisdom with people you allow to get close to you could even save your marriage.  If you feel a check in your spirit and someone makes you feel uncomfortable, trust your instincts as this very well may be a warning from God.  Be friendly, but do not allow these people to get too involved in your lives.  In other words, you do not have to reveal very much personal information.  You do not have to socialize with people you feel have immoral lifestyles.  You can witness to them as they allow, but do not spend a lot of time with those you feel may try to corrupt your morals, or who will expect you to accept their immoral behaviors but continually make fun of yours.  It is far better to keep the peace from a distance (over the phone or Internet) than continually cause friction and hard feelings up close (in person).

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people. Therefore Come out from among them And be separate,” says the Lord. “Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you."  II Corinthians 6:14-17

It is wisdom to realize that there are some people which you may need to let go.  When we allow people with poisonous personality traits or ungodly beliefs in our lives, we are asking for trouble.  These people already have open doors they have allowed Satan to walk through, and he very well may connect us to them and begin to harass us.  This is not my concept, read the above verses as well as, “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.”  Proverbs 22:24-25 & “Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits.  Awake to righteousness, and do not sin.”  1 Corinthians 15:33-34  

You may meet a seemingly nice person who just happens to be into Wicca.  Make no mistake, there is nothing innocent or nice about witchcraft; just being around this person can invite the demons attached to her to follow you home and oppress you and therefore cause chaos in your marriage.  “For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light.” 2 Corinthians 11:14  We are to treat everyone with kindness and respect, but when we willingly let a person involved in Satanism in our lives, we are mixing dark and light when they are clearly meant to be separated.  

Use the utmost wisdom when choosing friends if not for your own sake, then for the sake of your marriage!

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Weapons of Warfare:  Art Project Idea:  Create an armor based on the above listed weapons of spiritual warfare.  There are a variety of ways you can do this:  Draw pictures of yourselves dressed in armor or use photographs and Photoshop armor onto the both of you.  You could draw just the armor itself or print the pictures off the Internet.  Whichever you choose, be certain to label each piece of armor such as “Helmet of Salvation,” “Breastplate of Righteousness,” etc. and include the scripture reference of Ephesians 6:11-18 or include all the words from those scriptures.  Frame it if you so choose, but at least display it where you can both be reminded that God is on your side.  You can also do a spiritual check each time you look at the picture and ask yourself if you are lacking any weapons of warfare. If so, pray for God to help you put them on.  

Note: You can be creative with the armor.  In my Bible journal, I drew the weapons in western style.  For the helmet I used a cowboy hat, the breastplate was a vest, the shoes of peace cowboy boots, the sword of the spirit a gun, shield of faith a sheriff’s badge, and the belt a western belt with buckle.  In other words, you can use any type of "armor" you so choose as long as it fits the scripture reference.  

Wise:  Check in with each other this week and ask for honest opinions on all the people you allow access to your lives.  Allow the other to be honest in voicing any concerns.  Respect each other’s wisdom and spiritual instincts.  Consider limiting access to those that cause red flags.  Use wisdom in lowering the portcullis and keep the harmful people separated from you and your loved one.

Week 44 Short Video

 

Week 44 Art Project & Fun Activity

Both the art project and fun activity for this week were to make a collage of your wedding vows similar to week 32's art project.  Since we no longer have a printer, I cannot print our vows and make the project this week and will have to save it for another day. However, if you are interested, here is a copy of our wedding vows and the corresponding photos from our wedding on June 10, 2012!

Julie's Vows:

My sweet Mel, 

It is difficult for me to express how much I love you and how much you mean to me in a few short paragraphs. I could spend all day, every day thanking God for the gift of you and could still never express the gratitude that amazes and overwhelms my heart. 

As I write my marriage vows to you, I keep expecting to wake from a dream. I never thought I would be happy about being single for thirty-nine years, yet I finally understand why… I had to wait for you; and you are so worth the wait! I cannot tell you enough that you are my dream come true. You are more wonderful than I ever imagined my dream man would be. I am overwhelmed by my love for you and I am so moved by your love for me that I want to weep for joy. My heart is overflowing with love for you. I am amazed by you. You are the perfect man for me.

I love everything about you… your spirituality, your kind and tender heart, masculinity, gentleness, graciousness, compassion, chivalry, intelligence, sense of humor, your handsome face, patience, your strong and resilient heart, your humility, and your dimples melt my heart!

I promise to never let anger dictate my actions, never fail to speak the truth, and never walk away from this marriage. I will always be faithful to you, will respect and honor your opinions, will always fight for you and fight to keep you. I will always love all of you, completely, unabashedly, and without fear. I will put God first in our marriage and allow His wisdom to direct our path to a happy, healthy, romantic life together. I love you, Mel, and I give you all of me: mind, body and soul.

Mel's Vows:

Dearest Julie, 

You are like a rare diamond in the earth and I thank the Lord every day for you. I know that the Lord has brought us together for his divine plan. You are not only beautiful physically, but also spiritually. I admire that you kept yourself for me, as well as read your Bible daily. You are very kind, as well as compassionate. You put my needs before your own and show me love in many ways. I also love your sense of humor and the many jokes that we share. And your beautiful blue eyes and smile melt me!!

I promise to always be there for you in bad times as well as good. I will listen to you when you need to talk and lend you my shoulder when you need to cry. I will always provide for you, as well as be your guardian. I will be there for you in sickness, as well as health. I will always pray and read my Bible with you and the Lord Jesus Christ will be the center of our marriage. I will always talk to you and work out future problems rather than get angry. I promise to always love you and put your needs before my own. If necessary, I will be willing to give my life for you.

Julie, you are a dream come true as well as an answer to all of my prayers! I love you more than words can express and there is nothing that I would not do for you. I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you as we begin this wonderful journey together! 

Week 44: Vivacious & Vows

 

 Fun Activity This Week:  If you wrote your own wedding vows and still have copies of them, read them to each other again and recommit to those promises.  If you did not write vows then, consider writing them now.  Or if you have been married for a while, you may have a better understanding of married life and be able to better write wedding vows than what you wrote when you were still single.  Therefore, you may consider writing new ones and making all new promises that may be more relevant to your life today. 

Week 44: Vivacious & Vows

Vivacious:  Do not be a sour Sue or grouchy Gus, but be vivacious, bubbly, and full of energy for your spouse.  I know some days can be long and frustrating things happen, but do not take it out on your spouse.  If you see your mate is having a bad day, make a joke out of it and to try to make him/her smile.  Tell your honey he/she needs to change his/her grouchy pants for happy pants.  I am NOT suggesting that you demean what your loved one is feeling, if something serious is going on, he/she needs your prayers and understanding, not your jokes.  I am suggesting lightening the mood when you can tell your mate is grouchy due to a minor incident or just woke up that way. 

If you work and/or have children, I am sure your energy levels are not always up, and that is perfectly okay.  Sex is not always an option, but romance is not only about sex.  Taking the time to snuggle in each other arms feels wonderful and does not have to lead to anything more unless you want it to. 

Being vivacious can simply mean greeting your mate with a sweet smile and kiss every morning and each time you are reunited.  It can mean having a good attitude and sharing a friendly cup of coffee or tea while engaging in lively conversation.  Doing your best to be in a good mood will make you feel better.  Even if you start pretending to smile, you will feel better, and your smile will become sincere.  As I do not believe in being phony with your mate, I am NOT suggesting you fake a good mood, since that equivalent to being a liar; I am suggesting that, instead of giving into a foul mood, put on your happy pants and choose joy!  

Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!  Philippians 4:4

Vows:  We are in this marriage for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, and for better or worse.  Forever means forever.  

Whether you have said them yourself or heard them spoken, I think pretty much everyone knows the traditional wedding vows.  When Mel and I got married, we wrote our own vows as well as saying the standard ones (I will post our vows when I post the art project later this week).  We took every single word we vowed as a promise forever.  What we did NOT say was that we would only love each other and be kind to each other when things are all sunny and rosy.  We never said we would be rude to each other if our bank account showed a balance of less than $1.  We never said we would refuse to make love when we had no heat in our house. We never said we would turn our back if the other was frustrated, sad, scared, or lacking faith.  We never said we would laugh at the other's mistakes.  We never said we would refuse to listen to a concern spoken more than once.  Moreover, we absolutely never said we would file for divorce if we were behind on bills, and we thought we would be better off alone. 

What we promised was that we would love, support, cherish, and adore each other no matter what the circumstance!  We would hold each other, pray together, forgive, and not judge.  I have seen couples use adversity as an excuse for pushing the other away and even going as far as divorce.  In their warped mind, they had fewer problems when they were single and foolishly think their life will improve if they go backwards.  I have said it before, God hates divorce.  (see Malachi 2:16 & Matthew 19:1-9)

Even when we are facing tough times, Mel and I are kind to each other, madly in love, and full of joy in our marriage. Moreover, we truly trust we are in God's hands. It is normal in life to experience a little or a lot of stress. It is also normal for faith to suffer a little or a lot when frustrated. Prayer really helps, especially when praying together.  

I encourage you to focus on your vows when circumstances are getting you down.  They were not said in vain; they were a solid promise spoken before God.  I know I have said it many times before, God is your number one source of happiness and your spouse is your number two, not someone or something else.  Stick to and with one another; do not run away.  As I have also said before, two are better than one and you can face things head on so much better hand-in-hand than being at odds with the other.  Take it from someone who was single for nearly forty years, it is so much better to share the burden with your spouse than to face the tough times alone.  So do not use any crisis as an excuse to run away emotionally or physically.  I cannot say it enough, cling to your spouse, and trust God will take care of you both!      

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week: 

Vivacious:  When you find yourself feeling grouchy for no real reason or minor issues, remind yourself of all you have to be grateful for. This practice alone can help put things in perspective. Do not take your hard days out on your mate but talk things through. Depression can be a real medical issue, so seek professional help if you simply are not able to shake the blues. Praise God for the good things in life and you will find being vivacious is easier than you think!

Vows: If you wrote your own wedding vows and still have copies of them, read them to each other again and recommit to those promises.  If you did not write vows then, consider writing them now.  Or if you have been married for a while, you may have a better understanding of married life and be able to better write wedding vows than what you wrote when you were still single.  Therefore, you may consider writing new ones and making all new promises that may be more relevant to your life today. 

I know this is a repeat of the “Fun Activity Idea” for this week because I truly believe this is a wonderful way to enhance your marriage.  Don’t be surprised as you reread your vows and look into each other's eyes that you may see tears, as well as tear up yourself!)

Art Project Option:  As I suggested making a collage of marriage prayers in week 32, you could do the same this week with your wedding vows.  If you do not have personal vows and neither of you chooses to write them, just print the traditional version and paste them in your frame instead.  

Week 43 Short Video

 

Week 43 Art Project

 

Week 43: Victory & Virtuous

 Fun Activity This Week:  Start a planning and saving for a fun vacation! It can be in your own state or another country, but set goals (for example, within 6 months, a year, or even five years), and do you best to stick with your plans.

Week 43: Victory & Virtuous

Victory:  Claim the victory in Jesus' name for whatever circumstances you are facing.  I cannot stress enough that in times of personal or marital crisis trust that God has your best interest in mind.  Believe that God can heal and restore you and/or your marriage. Do not give up!

In the past, Mel and I were "scolded" by a friend trying to place us under unjustified condemnation.  This person kept telling us that the tough situations we were facing were God's punishment.  Let me assure you that, while God does chasten those he loves (Hebrews 12:7), His desire is that we prosper (Jeremiah 29:11).  By this I mean physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually, not always financially. When things go wrong or seem to take a long time to be resolved, it could simply be a timing issue.  That does not mean that we should fail in examining our lives to see what may need to be cleansed and assure our actions are not blocking our prayers (as I stated in week 23), but God is a loving God and longs to bless His children.  Mel and I waited more than four years to move near the ocean and be free from the oppressive price we paid for rent. During those long years of financial struggle, we daily examined our lives, and when we felt the Holy Spirit’s correction, we worked hard at changing where He prompted.  Let me point out that if we ever are financially secure, that does not mean that we will cease to ask for God’s continual guidance in our daily walk with Him, and we indeed still seek His holy face no matter what we are going through.  

If you are facing tough times, let me give you some encouraging words from one of my favorite verses.  It is difficult to put into words just how amazing these verses are.  We see here how the three, which are one, work together on our behalf.  Jesus himself prays for us with the aid of the Holy Spirit based on God's will for our lives.   

Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Romans 8:26-28 & 34

Let us then follow the example of Jesus and practice interceding for each other and pray for whatever victory is needed individually and especially as a couple.      

Virtuous:  

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.  Proverbs 31:10

This is my description of what I feel the concept of a virtuous spouse (not just a wife but a husband also) should be.  I am going to be literal, use the definitions from dictionary.com, and then expand from there.

1) Moral excellence; goodness; righteousness.  This is a good start.  Obviously, "no one is good but One, that is God," (Matthew 19:17), but we should strive for righteousness, or living right.  To live a life set apart and holy (Romans 12:1-2 & II Corinthians 6:17).  I know I have said it before, but my number one goal in life is to please God and be a woman after His own heart, but my number two goal will always be to bring my husband honor by living a life that will never shame him.  I want to please Mel by being a wife that tries her best to live according to God's laws.  A spouse of virtue strives to bring his/her partner honor by living a pure life.

2) Conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles; uprightness; rectitude.  I am going to expand on the conformity issue.  There have been very few areas where I have changed my point of view since I married Mel. This is because, as I mentioned before, we saw and still see life pretty much the exact same way and there has been little to adjust.  The most important thing I wanted in a husband was that our religious beliefs were the same.  I hate the term "religion," but we are identical in our spiritual thought patterns.  I will say, when a certain issue came up early in our marriage, Mel lovingly pointed out to me that God never changes and, in human terms, is very old-fashioned.  Keep in mind, he is not a demanding husband, and merely makes respectful suggestions.  I have no problem conforming to my husband's beliefs (as long they are Biblical), as he is a Godly man and never a suppressive bully.  I conform because I love him so deeply and trust him to look out for my best interests.  A virtuous woman trusts her husband as her head and conforms when necessary and a virtuous husband will be respectful and not be a bully.

3) Chastity; virginity: to lose one's virtue.  I was indeed a virgin on my wedding night.  Let me tell you how very happy I am that Mel is the only man to whom I gave myself.  It is such an intimate, bonding, beautiful, pleasurable experience.  I am beyond grateful Mel will be the only man with whom I will ever have such experiences.  So, if any non-marrieds read this, please stay pure until you marry.  No matter how old you are, it will be worth the wait.  If you have made mistakes, God forgives, and so will a loving husband, but please do not stay living in sin.  And for the marrieds: please save sex for only your spouse.  There is never any excuse to cheat.  Sex is sacred.  Marriage is sacred.  A spouse of virtue gives his/her body only to his/her mate.

4)  A particular moral excellence. I will say it again, no one is perfect, but the goal as a spouse of virtue is to strive to live a life of "moral excellence."  How do we excel at anything? Practice, study, learn, and grow.  In other words, read The Bible, know the laws of Jesus, and follow them.  Know the character of Christ and make it your goal to imitate it.  Avoid temptations and cling to your honey.  Have amazing communication with your spouse every single day.  Talk about every issue you can think of and know where you both stand on every issue.  Keep each other accountable.  God is your number one source, but use your spouse is your number two moral compass.  Hopefully he/she is your spiritual leader as Mel is for me.  Follow each other’s good examples and ask him/her to help you as well.  A virtuous spouse seeks out excellence in his/her marriage and in his/her walk with God.

5) A good or admirable quality or property: the virtue of knowing one's weaknesses.  I have so many weaknesses I cannot count them all.  Mel and I know that, though we are perfect for each other, we are not perfect people.  I am not going to be self-deprecating and list all my faults, but I know what work I need to do in my life.  I know where I need to change.  Most of us usually do, even when we do not want to admit it.  Pray the prayer, "Change my heart oh, God, make it ever new," or "Create in me a clean heart, oh God and renew a right spirit within me."   Also, be ready for the honest discussions with your spouse and ask him/her to lovingly but honestly tell you where he/she thinks you need improvement.  Ask your partner to help you with areas you feel you need help.  Self-examination and a loving hand from your soul mate will help you become a more virtuous spouse. 

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:

Victory:  Pray without ceasing (I Thessalonians 5:17) for one another and for whatever issue is troublesome and claim the victory in Jesus’ name!

      Art Project Idea: Two great scripture verses on victory are: Matthew 12:20, “A bruised reed He will not break, And smoking flax He will not quench, Till He sends forth justice to victory.” and I Corinthians 15:57, “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”  I realize the second verse has to do with victory over death, but you can still apply it to this week’s art project.  Choose one or both of the above verses and write or computer print them out.  You can mount them on scrapbook paper and frame them and/or add a photograph or symbol of an instance where you and your spouse were (or even need to be) victorious.  Hang this where you can be reminded that Jesus is Lord of all, and He cares for Your needs and will always help you claim the victory in His name (as long as it is within His will).

Virtuous:  Reread the definition of virtue and see where what positive qualities you can identify in your mate.  Write him/her a letter and thank your sweetie for being a man or woman or virtue.

On the flip side, are there any areas where you are lacking in virtue?  Promise yourself that this is the week you will do your best to be the spouse God intended you to be.