Week 41 Art Project

 

Here is a photo of this week's art project with week 13. They look nice together:

Week 41: Undefiled & Undivided

 

Fun Activity This Week: Take a walk in the rain and snuggle under one umbrella. We moved to the state of Washington in April 2019 where we are now in the beginning of the rainy season. Therefore, taking a walk under an umbrella around here will be an easy task to accomplish.  If you live in an area (such as where we moved from), where it rarely rains, or it is not the rainy season, then save this task for another day, and/or simply take a romantic walk outside no matter what the weather and enjoy the fresh air!

Week 41: Undefiled & Undivided

Undefiled:  Keeping the marriage bed pure before and during your marriage will make your sex life that much more special, sweeter, romantic, and much more enjoyable! 

Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.  Hebrews 13:4

If you are single are involved in pre-marital sex (or even considering it), please choose abstinence until you are married.  Besides the fact that pre-marital sex is not pleasing to God, I have read that those that wait to have sex until after they are married have a much better love life.  I can honestly tell you that I was a thirty-nine-year-old virgin the day I got married.  So do not use your age as an excuse to start having sex before you get married.  After finally knowing what sexual intimacy was all about, I am very grateful that I waited.  If you have made a mistake, repent of your sins and do not continue to live in sin.  God forgives and God heals. 

And, of course, after you are married, there is never any excuse to cheat.   

Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the Lord! Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, who seek Him with the whole heart! They also do no iniquity; They walk in His ways. Psalm 119:1-3

Choosing to have an undefiled marriage is saying that you both strive to live pure lives, holy and acceptable, and pleasing unto the Lord (Romans 12:1-2).  When you have such a goal, your marriage is certain to be happy and successful.  

The heart of her husband safely trusts her... She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12

I am a person who finds it difficult to trust others. I have been burnt by every friend I have ever had, and that is not an exaggeration. I never thought it would be possible to trust anyone. Without trust, true love does not exist. Yet, I trust Mel 100%. If I did not, I never could have fallen in love with him, and of course, never would have married him. I can put my entire life in his hands and know I am safe: body, mind, and soul. What an incredible honor to have him trust me in return! The husband of a virtuous woman "safely trusts her." The same goes for the virtuous man.  I want to always be worthy of Mel's trust and would never forgive myself if I betrayed his trust in me. I will always be faithful to him physically, but I need to also earn his trust in every other way as well. 

This ties in perfectly with verse 12. In order to maintain my husband's trust, I would always do "him good and not evil all the days of [my] life." To me, this is so simple. I would not cheat on him, lie to him, or steal from him. Those are obvious. However, doing your husband "good" is more than following the commandments. You can defile your marriage with more than just sexual sins. Honor him with your body (which includes NOT dressing proactively), learn to compromise, submit when necessary, and honor him as your spiritual leader and head of your house, and do not talk behind his back. 

Having an undefiled marriage cannot exist without trust in all areas, which is the basis for the two scriptures in Proverbs. One of the most important issues in a marriage is making yourself trustworthy. If you are doing something that causes your spouse not to trust you, I would say that means you are doing him/her "evil." Trust can be re-earned over time, but it is far better not to break this trust to begin with! If you have, first seek forgiveness from Christ, then your partner, and sincerely work on fixing your marriage. I hope I never betray my sweet love's trust and do him "evil." I know my goal will always be to do him "good all the days of [my] life." 

Undivided:  No matter what situations you may face, do not let it cause a rift between you and your spouse.  Stay strong, stay rock solid, stay undivided.

When Mel and I were nearly homeless in 2014, it was the most fearful situation our marriage faced.  In the midst of extreme stress, we talked about our fears often and prayed several times a day to try to keep our spirits up.  We had a very real conversation one night where we admitted we were both terrified that if God chose not to grant us a miracle, that it could change our marriage (God did grant us a miracle by providing a rental literally 4 days before we lost our home.).  More than worrying about living in our vehicle, we are worried about losing one another. Not in the sense of divorce, but in being forced to live in separate locations. We love each other so much that the idea of any kind of separation is worse than anything else we could face.  We never want to be divided.  We were determined that we were not going to let our circumstances tear us apart.  We were (and still are) committed to our wedding vows.  I can preach at you to stay bonded to your mate and talk things through, but I am living proof that scary situations do not have to divide you.  You do not have to be at each other's throats or place blame.  You can pray and cry together and cling even tighter to one another.

Other than facing homelessness, for some strange reason, Mel and I have faced constant opposition. Even on the fourth day we were dating, a woman we were having dinner with went behind my back and told Mel he should not be with me. I will not go into all the details of what was said then or what she later did to further try to tear us apart, but it was very harsh. The day I found out all she had said and done to try to turn him against me, I was so devastated, it caused me to break down and cry. Now understand, I rarely cry, but this hurt so deeply, I openly cried in front of my new boyfriend just one day after we began talking marriage and had confessed our love to each other. I knew he was the man I desperately loved and wanted to marry, and I was terrified I would lose him. Gratefully, Mel saw right through this woman’s schemes, and did not listen to her strange and false accusations; he knew I was the one he was meant to marry.  Mel compassionately held me in his arms and our bond only grew tighter. We knew then that no one would ever divide us.

What we did not expect was that the antagonism against us would remain constant. I will not go into details because it would take far too long, and I do not want to dwell on negativity, but it seems there is an ever-present target on our heads. Friends and even family members have tried to come between us. We have faced (these are issues from other people, not us): lies, lust, false “prophecies,” backstabbing, jealousy in many forms, manipulation, false condemnation, and even theft and vandalism. However, Mel and I have amazing communication, and we talked things through, and we were able to put these issues where they belong: in the trash!

So why are we the focus of so many dangerous plots to come between us? Are we just paranoid? Are we having shared delusions? No, of course not! We know it is because God has been preparing us for a big ministry since before we were born. We are a light the enemy wishes to snuff out. He will use every means he can to try to defeat us which includes trying to destroy our marriage. 

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:10-12

With God’s help, Mel and I are stronger than the enemy and all who oppose us. Every time we face attacks that try to come between us, it only brings us closer together. For one thing, we are both very analytical and logical, and we are able to reason through all the supposed truths we have been fed. We can recognize when someone or something is being used to try to place a rift between us. Yet, we will not be divided because we believe in Mark 10:9 that says, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” We 100% believe God has put us together forever. Nothing or no one will ever tear us apart. 

I pray that all who read this can say the same about their marriages, that you do not allow anyone or anything to divide you. Talk things through and cling together. It is amazing how Mel and I love each other more and more every day, and our bond only grows and grows. God had bound us together with chords that cannot be broken. Our love is undivided and eternal, and, therefore, so is our marriage. 

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Undefiled:  Be honest with yourself, are there any areas in your marriage where you know you could be purer?  Evaluate yourself not just in areas of sex, but in all areas of your marriage and spiritual life.  Use this week to repent of any areas that need improving and do your best to walk undefiled. 

Undivided:  It is quite common to deal with outside forces that may try to come between you and your mate.  However, we sometimes choose to turn a blind or ignorant eye to the harm caused by friends or family.  Show love to all but make up your mind this week not to put up with anyone who tries to divide you and your soul mate.    

Art Project Idea:  When I used a thesaurus for the word undivided, I was presented with, “complete, entire, whole, total, full, exclusive, and unbroken.”  Then my mind wanders to the song, “Will the Circle be Unbroken?”  While this song has to do with Heaven, the title inspired this week’s art project.

Draw a circle of any size out of any material.  You could even cover a sheet of paper with multiple circles of various patterns and sizes.  However you choose to do it, write the words to Mark 10:9 in the center of your biggest circle (or divide the words among all the circles if you choose), “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”  The King James Version states, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man tear asunder.”  Therefore, I like to rephrase the last few words as, “…let no one tear apart,” which is a more accurate definition of the word asunder.   You could even use the words, “Our circle will not be unbroken.”

To make this project more interesting, make a collage of pictures of various years together (be sure to include at least one wedding picture), and glue a circle under each photo, use scrapbook paper with a circle design, or both.  Still include the words to the scripture in a prominent place in the collage. Frame and hang it where all who come to your house gets the clear message that no one can ever come between you and your chosen one!   

Week 40 Fun Activity

 

This week's fun activity was "Have a tea (or coffee) party and enjoy the time talking over all the events of the week.  I’m not suggesting simple tea (or coffee) time that you may do on a regular basis, but make this day stand out.  Use your best plates and cups, bake or buy yummy desserts, and maybe even buy a new kind of tea or coffee for the occasion (if the budget permits). You could even dress up if you choose, at least during teatime (not necessarily for the entire day). Turn off all phones during your special time."

Not our fanciest dishes (then again, we don't really have "fancy" dishes), but this is set up for a festive fall teatime!  The dessert I made turned out looking messy (the jelly inside the phyllo dough leaked out - LOL), but it sure tasted good! 

Week 40 Short Video

 

Week 40 Art Projects

This week I listed 2 possible art projects.  I don't usually give you two art project options, but you could do one, both, or neither!  

Art project #1: "One way to keep God’s Words of faith at our fingertips is to have a favorite verse of encouragement on a bookmark.  You can simply write or print out such a verse, paste it to pretty paper, glue it on cardboard... and even punch a hole in the top and add a tassel made of yarn or thread if you like.  You could even include dried flowers, a photograph, or other thin items and have it laminated if this is an option.  If you can cross-stitch or sew, you can also choose this option." 

As you can see, I chose to cross-stich the bookmark. This is the front and the back of the bookmark I made for my hubby.

Art Project #2: "Make a friendship bracelet out of three different colors. One to represent the husband, one for the wife, and the third for God. You can either wear them, put them on a keychain, hang them in your car, etc. but the idea is that each time you look at them, you will be reminded to make all the right decisions when you acknowledge that Jesus is a part of your marriage.  It will also be an encouraging reminder as well that you have the Lord God Almighty fighting for and with you and your marriage!  If you do not know to how make a bracelet, there are multiple examples on You Tube but here is the result of a search; you can choose which video(s) to watch: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+make+a+friendship+bracelet  " 

Here are the bracelets I made:

Week 40: Therapeutic & A Threefold Cord

 

Fun Activity This Week: Have a tea (or coffee) party and enjoy the time talking over all the events of the week.  I’m not suggesting simple tea (or coffee) time that you may do on a regular basis, but make this day stand out.  Use your best plates and cups, bake or buy yummy desserts, and maybe even buy a new kind of tea or coffee for the occasion (if the budget permits). You could even dress up if you choose, at least during teatime (not necessarily for the entire day). Turn off all phones during your special time.

Week 40: Therapeutic & A Threefold Cord

Therapeutic:  When I am having a bad day, Mel's hugs are very therapeutic.  The other day I was feeling very discouraged, and Mel took the time to give me a nice long hug.  I felt the weight of the world leave my shoulders and was in a much lighter mood for the rest of the day. I thank God for my husband's strong and loving embrace.

In May of 2013, I started work as a veterinary receptionist (not at the same place I had been a veterinary technician). Simply starting this job and being away from my husband caused me anxiety.  Mel's loving words and support eased my worries.  I put forth my best effort at that job, but the staff was full of lustful men and spiteful women.  Therefore (three friends of mine who had been prior employees of that place had warned me this might happen), the women turned against me and tried very hard to get me fired.  After a horrible and false evaluation four months later and after going to work crying every day, Mel held me in his arms and told me my happiness was much more important than a paycheck.  Consequently, I quit at the end of my shift the next day.  Financially it was scary, but Mel understood that my well-being was much more important.  I had even lost my appetite and could not sleep.  My precious man could not stand to see me suffer.

When you love someone as deeply as Mel and I love each other, their pain becomes your own.  I definitely would have encouraged him to quit if our situations had been reversed. Please never put money, success, or anything else above your spouse when you can clearly see he/she is suffering mental anguish.  Trust God will take care of you.  

This is slightly off topic, but I wanted to point out something else.  I could have easily quit on the spot the day I had my fraudulent evaluation.  However, since Mel and I are partners, I would not have made that big of a decision without him.  Moreover, I truly see him as the head of our house, so I knew I should include him in my choice. So please keep that in mind for any big decisions that need to be made, they must be made together, and, if you absolutely cannot come to an agreement or compromise (although in my opinion, most everything is negotiable), then ultimately, the husband has the final word.

A simple reminder to make your spouse's happiness a priority in your marriage.  God id our number one source of peace and joy, but it is also your responsibility to make him/her happy so do whatever you can to make that happen.  You are your honey’s therapist.  This does not just include talking things out but taking action to assure his/her life has mental stability.  If your loved one has a medical or psychological need that only medication can help, then be prudent enough to know when to support your spouse in seeking outside aid. Again, trust God to take care of you and everything else will fall into place!

A Threefold Cord:  Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.  Ecclesiastes 4:12

The "threefold cord" to which Solomon was referring is God. In other words, when you include God in your marriage, your relationship is less likely to end up broken.  You are less likely to cause harm to one another when you want to please God with your actions.  When you follow Biblical principles, you are less likely to cheat, steal, lie, or participate in other dishonest and harmful actions that could ultimately break your marriage.

Also, note in the verse that it is easier to stand against something or someone wanting to cause harm to you and/or your marriage when you stand as a united team. Do not let adversity, tragedy, or opposition tear you apart. Stand united and allow God to help hold you and your marriage together.

The more you include God in your marriage in such things as Bible study, prayer, and praise time, the healthier and more joyful your marriage will be!

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Therapeutic:  If there is any area in your spouse’s life that is causing him/her great mental anguish, do what you can to help remove your honey from the harmful situation.  

Art Project Idea: One way we be therapeutic and help comfort a stressed-out spouse is to remind him/her of the promises of hope in the Word of God.  One way to keep God’s Words of faith at our fingertips is to have a favorite verse of encouragement on a bookmark.  You can simply write or print out such a verse, paste it to pretty paper, glue it on cardboard (thin enough not to make it too difficult to close the book), and even punch a hole in the top and add a tassel made of yarn or thread if you like.  You could even include dried flowers, a photograph, or other thin items and have it laminated if this is an option.  If you can cross-stitch or sew, you can also choose this option. 

 I am not going to suggest a specific verse this week because there far too many verses on hope and faith to narrow it down to just one.  If you are at a loss for which verse to choose search “hope” or “faith” on a Bible verse search engine or look through this blog and choose one I have previously listed.  The idea is to choose one that has special meaning to your spouse.

A Threefold Cord:  When making any major decisions this week, make sure you both pray about it.  When you consider God's will above both of your own and stop and think what Jesus would want you to do, you just may end up surprised how much better the results will be.

Art Project Idea: I don't usually give you two art project options, but here is another idea to choose from. You could do one, both, or neither! Make a friendship bracelet out of three different colors. One to represent the husband, one for the wife, and the third for God. You can either wear them, put them on a keychain, hang them in your car, etc. but the idea is that each time you look at them, you will be reminded to make all the right decisions when you acknowledge that Jesus is a part of your marriage.  It will also be an encouraging reminder as well that you have the Lord God Almighty fighting for and with you and your marriage!  If you do not know to how make a bracelet, there are multiple examples on You Tube (I've been making these since the 1980's!) but here is the result of a search; you can choose which video(s) to watch: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+make+a+friendship+bracelet  

Week 39 Short Video

 

Week 39 Art Project

 

This week's Art Project was: "Instead of an art project, I would like to see both of you continue keeping the journal I mentioned. After a week with no Hollywood connection, reevaluate how you feel. Now that you have been television and movie-free for seven days, are you hearing God’s Voice more clearly? Connecting to your mate and kids better? Feeling more attractive now that the unnatural-looking women have been removed from your living room? After you realize you have not disintegrated from lack of immoral entertainment and realize how much better you feel emotionally and especially spiritually, prayerfully consider letting television and movies go for good!"

This video is less than 12 minutes long but will not post here. Due to a lack of interest, I no longer have a Facebook page so I cannot share a link to it. The video essentially says all I say in the above paragraph as well as what I wrote in week 39's post: "I want to give you an assignment that will go beyond this week.  Keep a television and movie viewing journal and record how you feel each time a sexy woman is on the screen.  Wives, do you feel ugly and inadequate? Men, are you titillated (remember Matthew 5:28)? Do sex scenes and nudity make you feel dirty or stir up unhealthy temptations to cheat?  How about when a violent scene is depicted.  Are you experiencing unexplained bouts of anger or depression?  What about programs that reverse gender roles?  Do you experience dissention in your home?  What about the shows glorifying witches, wizards, vampires, and other demons/false gods?  Is anyone in your home having nightmares?  Are you or your children in rebellion?  Feel like your prayers are blocked?  Record it all.  By the end of two weeks (or even go a full thirty days), read this week again, and you will see where I am coming from."

Week 39: Talk & Television

 

Fun Activity This Week:  Create a treasure hunt.  In week 31, I suggested the same thing as an art project, so if you did this already, you can always reverse roles (the clue giver now becomes the seeker of treasure and vice versa), you could create a newly themed treasure hunt, or you can just find something else fun to do!  You can read what I wrote for week 31 here: writing: https://abcsofajoyfulmarriage.blogspot.com/2025/08/week-31-passion-sin-of-pornography.html & art project: https://abcsofajoyfulmarriage.blogspot.com/2025/08/week-31-art-project.html

Week 39: Talk & Television 

Talk:  Time with your spouse should consist of more than just sitting side by side while you wordlessly watch television or spend time on the computer.  Take the time to have meaningful conversations and learn to be comfortable talking about any subject.

You will read more about this in the below section, but Mel and I quit watching television in 2015.  Since we quit watching, this leaves us much more time for each other.  I know some of you groan or roll your eyes at this, but it has been great for us.  We play board games more often, go for walks and drives more often, and read aloud together (or listen to an audio book) most nights.  Of course, we do not spend every second together as we each maintain Facebook pages, write blogs, etc., and are always developing more projects to build our ministry.  We also have other hobbies we both enjoy. Yet even when we are working on separate projects, we are still in constant communication.  Truthfully, unless we are asleep or I am at work, we do not go more than 30 minutes without talking.  On the rare occasions we are not together, we continually communicate by phone.  

My point is that when we spend more time in conversation and less time staring at mindless "entertainment" it enhances our marriage as we learn more and more about one another.  Mel and I talk about things most people find embarrassing, but no subject is off limits.  We were even very open and honest with one another before we got married, which was why we fell in love so very quickly (we were married ninety-six days after we met).  So, talk, laugh, share, have fun, and make your marriage more enjoyable and less avoidable.

Television (and Movies):  Mel and I got rid of our television and gave up movies in 2015 due to the over-sexualized nature, the constant use of God's name in vain as well as other swear words, the justification of violence, occultism, and the LGBTQ agenda. However, we do watch some Christian concerts, and sermons from holiness preachers on YouTube (such as Leonard Ravenhill & David Wilkerson). We tried to limit ourselves to "Christian" movies but even many of them are full of scantily clad women and swearing and have very watered-down messages.  Moreover, the “Biblical” movies are excessively violent and not accurate; they just confuse those not familiar with what the Bible truly says.  Truthfully, since 2015, we have considered several times returning to TV/movies as long as we stuck with "innocent" or "spiritual" programs, but God ALWAYS speaks to one or both of us whenever we have chosen to go backwards and makes it very clear to get rid of Hollywood yet again. We know without any doubt that God is calling us to separate ourselves from this form of entertainment (as well carefully choosing which ungodly books/music also need to go).  It really is not difficult when you think of it this way: would you still be watching your favorite programs if Jesus was sitting next to you? 

Before I get into this subject a little deeper, I want to give you an assignment that will go beyond this week.  Keep a television and movie viewing journal and record how you feel each time a sexy woman is on the screen.  Wives, do you feel ugly and inadequate? Men, are you titillated (remember Matthew 5:28)? Do sex scenes and nudity make you feel dirty or stir up unhealthy temptations to cheat?  How about when a violent scene is depicted.  Are you experiencing unexplained bouts of anger or depression?  What about programs that reverse gender roles?  Do you experience dissention in your home?  What about the shows glorifying witches, wizards, vampires, and other demons/false gods?  Is anyone in your home having nightmares?  Are you or your children in rebellion?  Feel like your prayers are blocked?  Record it all.  By the end of two weeks (or even go a full thirty days), read this week again, and you will see where I am coming from.

I am speaking out of experience.  I too was once obsessed with television, movies, and books filled with the occult, violence, and carnality.  I was plagued with bad dreams, bad moods, and bad decisions.  I was mentally and especially spiritually set free when we let go of television, movies, and a large number of books. 

The below portion was written by my husband, Mel in 2014:

"The Lord has been dealing me on the issue of television. I felt that if I were careful to what programs I watched, everything would be okay. I became aware that television was an idol to me, as well as a compromise to my Christian faith. Television is filled with extreme violence, fornication, adultery, occultism, profanity, swearing, etc. I was filling my eye gates and ear gates with the trash that Hollywood produces. For the eyes and the ears are gates to the soul. Should Christians be filling their souls up with darkness?

"Even commercials have become X-rated. How much of this are we going to tolerate as Christians? Also, consider the heavy metal music played in the background of movies, shows, and commercials. Many claim that they would never allow this type of music to be played within their homes, but they are allowing it in their homes through television. After watching a show, how many times have you gone to bed and had undesirable music playing in your head? It has happened to me many times.

"Also, consider how the family structure is perverted by Hollywood. The children are always fussing or cussing at their parents. Women are always in charge of their husbands and belittling them. Men are always cheating on their wives. The homosexual agenda has really taken over as well as many shows feature gay parents raising children. In an effort to desensitize the American public, homosexuals are featured in most programs today (even gay children are depicted). And this type of brainwashing is working. 

"Also, consider the occultism within television and movies today. Witchcraft, Satanism, Buddhism, New Ageism, Hinduism, yoga, channeling, ghosts, reincarnation, Ouija boards, etc. are all being promoted. Even children's cartoons are filled with occultism.

"The Lord gave me some dreams, as well as words concerning television that reflects how serious this issue is to the Lord. The Lord said that I was cut off from Him due to compromise by watching television. The Lord showed me that watching television would prevent him from healing and blessing his children, as well as hinder a person's relationship with him. This is a very serious issue to the Lord.  The Lord showed me that even supposedly innocent shows were still wicked to him because they are produced by Hollywood. Everything from Hollywood is accursed to God.

"In a day and age when most people have television, these words may seem hard to believe, as they were for me at first. However, when God destroyed the earth with a flood, only Noah was found righteous in his eyes. So just because everybody else does it, does not make it right in God's eyes. God's standards do not change with our culture. God is still the Ancient of Days.”

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:

Talk:  I know this will sound redundant compared to other weeks, but practice makes perfect!  Make this a week of connecting through your words.  Stay up until sunrise talking, and then have a romantic breakfast in bed together.  Or stay up until sunset then take a hot bath together and go to sleep snuggled up all warm and toasty from the inside out!

Television (and Movies):  I know there will be resistance here but take the week off from television and movies. You can catch the news on the radio or read it on the Internet as we do.  But do not use the Internet as a substitute for television to get your worldly fix.  

Art Project Option: Instead of an art project, I would like to see both of you continue keeping the journal I mentioned above.  After a week with no Hollywood connection, reevaluate how you feel.  Now that you have been television and movie-free for seven days, are you hearing God’s Voice more clearly?  Connecting to your mate and kids better?  Feeling more attractive now that the unnatural-looking women have been removed from your living room? After you realize you have not disintegrated from lack of immoral entertainment and realize how much better you feel emotionally and especially spiritually, prayerfully consider letting television and movies go for good!