Week 38 Fun Activity

This week's fun activity was to: "Make a snowman together... This is one you can save for later, or you can be creative with this idea. You can make the snowman out of paper, clay, yarn, sand, or even marshmallows.  The idea is to have fun together creating a snowman (or woman or any creature) as a team!"

Here are a variety of our snowmen made at various times throughout the year. The first one I made just based on ingredients I had at home, marshmallows, dried blueberries (eyes), almonds (arms), dried pineapple (nose), and sugar free candy (hat). Looks more like a penguin - LOL! The second and third are sand people (yes, that blob of sand was supposed to be a snowman with seashell fragments for a hat and arms - LOL!), and the last is a very tiny snowman made on a hiking trail where it was too cold to make a bigger one. 

Week 38 Art Project

Note: This video was filmed in 2020; I did eventually make the art project for week 37 and posted it last week.

Week 38: Spiritual Leader & Support

 

 Fun Activity This Week:  Make a snowman together.  Okay, so I realize this is being posted in September, so how are you supposed to make a snowman now?  This is one you can save for later, or you can be creative with this idea. You can make the snowman out of paper, clay, sand, yarn, or even marshmallows.  The idea is to have fun together creating a snowman (or woman or any creature) as a team!

Week 38: Spiritual Leader & Support

Spiritual Leader:  Husbands, you should take the reigns as the spiritual leader of the family.  Wives, you should let him lead and respect him as the head of the household (see Ephesians 5:22-24). The husband does not always have to be the one to initiate prayer, worship, or Bible study, but let him lead prayer time and choose which subjects you will be studying.  Mel usually opens our prayer time, then I pray a closing.  When deciding which book of The Bible to study next, I always let Mel choose, but, since he is a good husband, he always asks for my opinion.  We take turns reading the scriptures (or listen to an audio version), and we discuss together our feelings on what was read.  Of course, if your husband is practicing a false religion and/or is not a true Christian, then this is a different issue that I will not address this week. I will cover more about unequally yoke spouses when we get to the letter Y.

I know this is neither a modern nor a popular concept, but it is a Biblical one.  Allowing the husband to be the leader in all things is the best way to keep peace.  I have written on this many times; I repeat myself because it the key to a successful and happy marriage.  If there is constant strife over who is in charge, your marriage can never be a happy one.  Just as jobs, cities, states, and countries all have a leader in order to hopefully keep chaos at bay (some leaders cause the chaos, but I digress), so should a marriage have a leader.  Of course, we all know that there are a lot of bad bosses and leaders out there.  Any man who misuses these verses is not, in my opinion, a good husband. There are also many dictatorial husbands that abuse the concept of Ephesians 5, which is why one must read the entire section in context (see also Ephesians 5:25-32).  It clearly states the husband is to love his wife and take care of her as he would himself.   That does not describe a bully.  Also, it says the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, and we all know Christ gave His very life for us. If a husband follows the ultimate example, then he will never be a selfish leader.  

Marriages are so poorly portrayed in entertainment.  Even in so-called Christian movies, the wives are disrespectful, materialistic, boss their husbands around, and dress provocatively. The husbands are wimpy, angry, stand-offish (to their wives, not their buddies), and over-sexed (even with women not their wives).  You very rarely see a marriage portrayed as romantic, loving, healthy, or even faithful.  Know why?  Because they do not practice the writers of these shows ignore the principles of Ephesians 5!

If you are confused at all on this subject or believe that a submissive wife is a negative thing, please continue reading.

When I was single (which was for almost 40 years), I used to say I could never be married because there was no way I would submit to any man. I used to see submitting as most people do, as something negative and wimpy. I thought all I ever wanted was to be a strong and independent woman. However, those concepts are overrated! When you find the right man that view changes. Since I absolutely have the right man, I do not want to be independent, I fully love being dependent on Mel. In addition, I am a million times stronger with a supportive, wonderful husband by my side than I ever was as a single woman. I am still an individual, but, as cliché as this sounds, since I got married, I feel complete. Loving Mel makes me want to be a wife that honors and respects his opinions. I have changed the way I do several things based on Mel’s beliefs because He is a Godly man firmly grounded in God’s Word. Mel would never be a bully or demand I change for him. He loves me just as I am. He even tells me I do not have to change just to make him happy, the only one I need to please is Jesus. Frankly, I would never have fallen in love with an antagonist, and Mel is the opposite of that word. He is considerate and thoughtful of my feelings and convictions. I submit to my husband out of the purest and strongest form of love I have ever known. It is actually very easy. His opinion is a precious gem to me, and I crave it. My number one goal in life is to make God happy and to be a woman after God’s heart, but my number two goal is to please my husband and bring him honor. 

Submitting to your husband as the spiritual leader does not mean you have no opinion or that you are spineless. It means you have a loving husband you want to make happy, and you have no problem compromising (as long as you still honor Biblical principles). It also does not mean being phony but truly examining both of your beliefs. If you do not 100% agree on an issue, it does NOT mean you have to change. A good husband will discuss and even debate lovingly (if you so choose) with you as mine does. He is open to change as well. Thankfully, Mel and I have not had any major issues come up where we are not in complete agreement. We disagreed about extremely little in the beginning, and the more we are together, I do not believe that we have any spiritual areas on which we differ. That is how I know we are the perfect match. God truly granted me the gift of a kindred spirit, a soul mate, and a best friend. 

Support:  No matter what our mate is going through we must be our honey’s support system.  I know I have written about this before, but this week I am writing from the view based on Job's wife.  Hopefully you're all familiar with the story, but here is a very brief sum-up.  Because Job was “blameless and upright, and one who feared God and shunned evil” (Job 1:1) God allowed Satan to tempt Job to fall.  Job suffered many trials including the death of his children, livestock, and the majority of his staff, as well as boils on his body (see Job chapters 1-2).  His friends were not much comfort, and his wife was just as bad.  In Job 2:9, she taunts, "Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!"

Let us never be this kind of spouse.  Our responsibility is to encourage our mate, no matter what he/she is going through.  Hold each other and let him/her cry on your shoulder.  Read scripture verses and pray together.  Whenever one of us is feeling down, the other will suggest, "Let's pray," and we will pray for peace and comfort.  Hold hands and pray, no matter what time of night and no matter how exhausted you both are, or even if you are annoyed with one another (praying will also help ease tensions between you).   Remind each other of God's amazing love and of all He has done.  Know what your spouse’s favorite scripture verses are and quote them often.  

When your loved one is discouraged, please do not tell him/her to "curse God" or to give up.  Help your mate and lift him/her up.  Make each other feel loved and comforted even when it seems darkest.  Remind him/her how much you adore each other and will always be there, no matter what the circumstance. You will walk through fire with him/her and live in a tent if need be.  You will never abandon one another and will always be right by his/her side. And most of all, tell your spouse to bless God and live!

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Spiritual Leader:  Wives, are there any areas where you are resisting allowing your husband to be the spiritual leader?  Husbands, are you dragging your feet to lead?  This week have the husband start prayer times and choose the Bible study subjects. 

Art Project Idea: Use these words from Colossians 3:18-19 to make any type of art project you choose (You could also choose the words from Ephesians 5:22-33, but this is a shorter version saying the same thing.). My suggestion, since this week is about remembering to allow the hubby to be the spiritual leader, make a bookmark with these words. That way, whenever you read your Bible alone or together, you will be reminded of the best way to make your marriage a joyful one! If not making a bookmark, be sure to hang these words wherever you see them daily.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Colossians 3:18-19

Support:  No matter what negative circumstances your spouse may be facing this week, be there for each other.  Do not make his/her pain about placing blame.  If it is an area that requires professional help, offer to go together and be a support as needed.

Week 37 Short Video

 

Week 37 Art Project

 

This week's art project was "Using a piece of cardboard (the side flaps on a packing box are the perfect size for this), write something along the lines of, 'Time to De-Stress:  Good for a day of pampering.  Non-Expiring – Multiple Uses Are Encouraged.'   Make certain your spouse uses this coupon whenever he/she needs a stress reliever, or even just for some healthy bonding time.  If you would like, draw a clock on it and the word stress with a circle and line through it (to represent no stress).  Ladies, kiss the cardboard with a sexy shade of lipstick."

Super simple project. As always, you can interpret the art project however you choose and make it as "fancy" or more detailed as you choose. Also, if you want to spend money, you can include an IOU for a romantic activity that helps relieve such as a hotel stay, or a trip to a hot spring or somewhere else relaxing that you can think of.

I mostly only wear tinted lip balm with so my lipstick "kiss" isn't very dark, but you can always draw one if you so choose. Also, I used the cardboard flap that protects the tissues on a new box as it seemed like the perfect size.

Week 37: Safe & Servant

 

 

Fun Activity This Week:  Go outside at either sunrise or sunset.  Snuggle in each other’s arms and marvel at the beauty of God’s creation. 

Week 37: Safe & Servant

Safe:  True love is not hurtful, dangerous, or abusive, but makes you feel safe.  Make your home a place of safety and security.  Do not make your spouse dread wanting to come home because he/she will be nagged at all night after enduring a demanding boss all day.  Also, do not make your spouse dread it when you come home because you will scream if the dinner is not cooked perfect, the floors are dirty, or the kids (and/or pets) are getting on your nerves.  Make each other want to come home to a warm, inviting place where one feels he/she can relax and feel loved.  Greet each other with a hug and kiss.  Ask about how each other's day went.  Even if you both work, you can still come home to a peaceful, non-demanding home.  There is nothing wrong with frozen or boxed dinners or take-out if having to cook a meal is a demand that causes tension.  You can always negotiate how often one or both of you cook rather than adding dinner to the list of things that creates stress.  In fact, pretty much everything is negotiable when you love someone and want to make sure your home is one of peace and joy!

I have written about the importance of submitting to your husband as it states in Ephesians 5:22-23; this does not give the husband an excuse to act like a bully. A decent man would never use these scripture verses as a foundation for treating his wife poorly. For this same passage also states, "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself." Neither men nor women should ever go along with anything immoral or illegal your spouse asks you to do.  This includes abuse towards you and/or your children. I know some women consider it abusive if their husband asks them to dress modestly or wants to know where they are going, but this just shows your husband cares about you (he doesn't want ungodly men lusting after and potentially harming his wife), and you should be accountable to each other! However, I think we all know what real abuse is and that very obviously involves physical violence. I am not dismissing mental abuse, but unless your husband degrades you by saying you are fat or stupid, etc. (which also is NOT acceptable), then you need to evaluate him honestly and determine if he is truly being a bully or if he is showing his love for you by expressing genuine concern.   I do not mean to make it seem as if husbands are the only ones capable of abuse. I have known many marriages where the wife is the bully and/or it is mutual abuse. 

It is also very worrisome when spouses try to introduce another person into the marriage. I do not want to be vulgar, but you all know what I mean. Threesomes and swinging in marriages are very disturbing popular trends, and I know this is not anything new. The husband or wife says they need more sex to feel fulfilled. I even knew a wife who said she felt sorry for her husband because in Biblical times men had more than one wife. She used this justification as a way to give her husband permission to have an affair and even allowed the other woman to move into her home where all 3 shared a bed. People may say their sex drive is stronger than what their spouse has to offer so they need a second partner. If you truly feel you could never be with only one partner and refuse to live a holy life, then do not get married!

I heard another woman say it was a mid-life crisis that caused her to cheat. And yet another one say that her husband cheated, so she did too. Yes, I have known way too meany people admit affairs to me and I know there are many excuses that they and others use to justify affairs, but nothing justifies sin. So, I am obviously saying what I have said many times before, there is never any excuse to cheat in God's eyes. My additional point is that you should also not help your mate cheat. Do not agree to swinging, or a threesome or any other practice that you know in your heart is wrong. We are not living in the old covenant days, and in this modern day, marriage is meant to be one man and one woman. Besides, so-called open marriages that give each other permission to cheat almost always end up in divorce. 

If your spouse wants you to break the law by stealing, doing drugs, cheating on taxes, or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you do not have to do it. The Bible says to respect your husband, but it does not say to break the law if your spouse says it is okay. It did not work for Adam when he told God that Eve made him sin; he was still punished for his disobedience. It will not work today in court either. Telling a judge you are in love and just wanted to make your spouse happy will not make the judge tip his head and say, "Aww, how cute!" No; you will still be punished by man and by God!

It is our goal to make our spouses as happy as we can, but that does not mean we do it at the expense of our souls. Plus, if your mate really loves you, he/she would never ask you to break your moral code. True and pure love is not abusive and does not corrupt; it keeps you safe from ALL manner of harm. 

Servant:  In week 6, I wrote about how God often pairs couples up with the perfect match so you can complement each other’s personalities. I want to expand a bit on that today in the area of serving as a team.

And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, "If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all."  Mark 9:35

In our previous church, Mel and I enjoyed serving our community through our church. We served (and I cooked) meals for the Salvation Army twice a month and ministered to the residents. Mel was an associate pastor and preached once a month and was the co-leader of a home Bible study group.  Whatever Mel planned with the church, I was at my husband's side as his eager and ever-present helpmate. I am not writing about this to brag about what we have done; I am writing about this as an encouragement to serve with your spouse. It will truly enhance your marriage and bring you closer together.     

If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.  John 12:26

It is a humbling experience to help those less fortunate and truly allows me to be more grateful for what I have. Our marriage is pretty close to perfect, but there used to be other areas that were not. In the past, we lived in two different houses that were in bad shape.  We often ate cereal for dinner, utilized food banks, and would walk in bad weather to conserve on gas.  Yet when we served others, we could always see there were people worse off than we were and we were able to be grateful that we have always had a roof over our heads, some sort of food to eat, and most of all, we have each other. So, helping others also helps one to be more grateful for his/her life. In addition, having a grateful heart makes one a much better spouse!

But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth.  II Timothy 2:23-25

Being “a servant of the Lord” is bound to cause friction with people outside your marriage. I would much rather "avoid disputes" and just have peace. Why is it when we say we love people but have a difference in so-called religious issues that even others often feel the need to "quarrel" and try to prove you wrong? Nonetheless, we will press forward with "humility" and continue to serve. Mel and I have been facing spiritual warfare from several different people since before we got married. God revealed to me that some of them are being used as a distraction and to discourage us, but that we are not to let either of those weapons be affective and to continue serving in the name of Jesus Christ no matter what. Facing such spiritual warfare will teach a couple of what they are made. Opposition has not torn us apart nor made us less willing to serve but has caused us to bind even closer together. 

What is my reward then? That when I preach the gospel, I may present the gospel of Christ without charge, that I may not abuse my authority in the gospel. For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more.  I Corinthians 9:18-19

Another great reason to serve with your spouse is that you learn together where the rewards truly lie in this world. We have never been paid to serve God, and it will never be money that drives us, but winning souls and helping those in need. Every time someone says "thank you" at a place we have worked or comes to Bible Study, it truly blesses us to see we are touching hearts.

I must work the works of Him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.  John 9:4

Finally, what better reason to serve Christ together than simply because God wants us to occupy until He comes (Luke 19:13 NIV)? We will keep busy serving God right where we are. For as the last verse states, a time will come when we will no longer be able to do so.  Truly, serving even in a small way (which does not have to cost money) such as sitting with a grieving friend, babysitting for free, praying for needs, spending time with those who live alone, etc. are a great way to bond with the love of your life. Don't believe me? Spend a day hauling dirt and planting onions in a community garden and see how energized and alive you feel afterward (even when exhausted and in pain). Humbling yourselves and taking on the heart of a servant is one of the top ways to feel closer with your best friend and soul mate! 

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:

Safe:  Is there some way in which your mate is making you feel unsafe?  Talk about it and seek counseling if necessary.  On the flip side, whatever you can do this week to make your home feel like a safe and inviting place please do so.  

Art Project Option: One way to make your lover feel safe is to help him/her release tension.  Using a piece of cardboard (the side flaps on a packing box are the perfect size for this), write something along the lines of, “Time to De-Stress:  Good for a day of pampering.  Non-Expiring – Multiple Uses Are Encouraged.”   Make certain your spouse uses this coupon whenever he/she needs a stress reliever, or even just for some healthy bonding time.  If you would like, draw a clock on it and the word stress with a circle and line through it (to represent no stress).  Ladies, kiss the cardboard with a sexy shade of lipstick.  

In order to make each other feel extra safe and sheltered this week, the day of pampering could include: starting the day off with breakfast in bed, setting a warm bath with bubbles or something else scented for the other (even better to take the bath together if you have a tub big enough), then dry each other off with a warm and fluffy towel.  Add a massage before or after the bath for an extra special morning.  All throughout the day do little things that will make your mate feel pampered (you know what the other likes).  Ending the day by serving comfort foods (even if it is just dessert) under low lights will enhance your feeling of security even further!   

Servant:  Serve together this week.  Serve at a soup kitchen, pass out food at a food bank, volunteer at an animal shelter, contact your local senior center and see what needs they need met, or use your imagination.  You can simplify this and even find one person in need and help in any way you are able. The possibilities are endless!

Week 36 Short Video

 

Week 36 Art Project

 

This week's art project was: "As you did for week 4, create a word poem.  This time use the letters in the word RESTORATION or RESTORE.  You can use the simple one I wrote, or write your own personalized version."

Here is the one I made, I used scrapbook paper for the background, construction paper for the poem, wrote the letters on heart stickers and added a few more smaller heart stickers.

Week 36: Restore & Roam

 

Fun Activity This Week: Have an evening full of your favorite romantic things. Based on what is in your budget, include flowers, a nice meal (in or out), dressing up (even if staying home), candles, making love, etc.  Do not rush through the evening but take the time to focus on each other.  This is especially important if you are struggling in your marriage as you can rekindle what you think you may have lost.  Even if your marriage is in great shape, have a day or night full of your romantic favorites throughout the year.

Week 36: Restore & Roam

Restore:  Most marriages can be restored with God's help.  Do not give up on yours.  Whatever you are facing in your marriage, God wants to see you try to make it work.  There are some cases where you should not only leave your marriage behind, but probably have criminal charges pressed as well.  However, I am not talking about cases of physical or sexual abuse.  So many marriages break up rather than bothering with counseling because they do not like the idea of a stranger being involved in their personal business.  Yet, if you truly love your spouse, why wouldn't you do whatever is necessary to save your marriage?  

For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts.  Malachi 2:16

God gives us permission to divorce in cases of infidelity (And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.  Matthew 19:9) but does not command you must get a divorce under such circumstances.  That is up to you if you want to seek forgiveness and try to restore your marriage.  However, I would strongly recommend counseling as many who commit adultery do so more than once.  Sincere repentance and actively seeking a holy life (removing oneself from the paths of temptation) are what are required to restore the marriage after such betrayal.  A recovering alcoholic avoids a bar, so he is not tempted to drink.  In the same manner a person prone to sexual immorality must avoid being alone with the opposite sex (even over the telephone and the computer) under all circumstances.  

Even if you and your partner are in different spiritual stages, this is not an excuse to walk away.  Carefully consider the below scriptures.  It tells us to stay with our spouses and lead as an example by our walk with God.  So do not give up on restoring your marriage.

Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? I Corinthians 7:10-16

Roam:  Time spent roaming the road with your spouse can be a wonderful bonding experience.  I know in tough financial times that even money for gas is not always easy to come by.  So yes, it takes gas money, but also an adventurous and creative spirit.  

However, you do not have to roam far.  Mel and I try to go for a nice drive just to get out of the house around once a month.  Or sometimes we just walk around the neighborhood when we are low on gas.  A quick trip to the next town or to a nearby park can be enough to make you feel better with a change of scenery.  If you can afford it, pack a picnic, or go through a drive-through or gas station and grab some snacky foods for fun.  If you are night owls as we are, the good news in that many drive-through windows have inexpensive deals after 8:00 p.m. and are usually open 24/7.  

If you have the money to roam beyond your own county and/or state, please take the time to do so.  Mel and I are usually on a tight budget, but we still manage to travel in our own state.  We save up and have even sold items to make all this possible, as we both love seeing what else is out there.  We have always enjoying exploring and roaming our home state!   

As I mentioned at the beginning of this section, traveling is a great bonding experience. Mel and I took our first road trip together just a little over a month after we met.  It made us fall in love that much more.  I am not recommending overnight trips for non-married people as this would be too much of a temptation; Mel and I only went on day trips together before we were married.

There is something special about looking up a place to visit, plotting a path on a map, and enjoying the open road; it truly makes you feel closer to your spouse.  Roaming the roads is a great stress reliever and great way to feel even more connected!

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Restore:  If your marriage needs restoration, take as much time as you need to talk things through.  Stay up all night, if need be, or take a break and continue the conversation over several days until you can work things out.  Consider seeking an unbiased Christian counselor to whom you can talk.  

Art Project Idea:  As you did for week 4, create a word poem.  This time use the letters in the word RESTORATION or RESTORE.  You can use the simple one I wrote or write your own personalized version.  You can make the letters out of patterned paper, or use stencils, or even simply type it and print it out.  If you have problems in your marriage, hang this where it can be a daily reminder that your marriage is fixable.  Here is the one I wrote.  It’s not really a poem, but each letter is advice meant to inspire restoration.

Rejoice that the Lord is in control.

Enjoy one another’s company. 

Say "I love you" often.

Turn off electronic entertainment & talk.

Ogle one another and flirt.

Read your Bible.

Always be ready to forgive as well as apologize.

Truthfully bare your heart and show your feelings.

Initiate affection and do not shy away from what is offered.

Observe each other’s needs and help out.

Never give up!

Roam:  Find a special place you both want to roam to and start planning and saving this week.  In the meantime, take at least one day this week to roam out of your city (it does not have to be some place new).  Drive to the next city or county and explore a little.  Buy or make some yummy treats for the car trip and have fun!