Week 52: Zip & Z End

 Fun Activity This Week:  Go to the zoo!  No zoo in your area, can’t afford it, or if you just don’t like zoos, then look at photos of many different species of animals in a book or on-line and marvel at the beauty and variety of God’s creation!

Week 52: Zip & Z End

Zip:  Learn to zip your lip when your feel the need to correct your spouse.  Since you have made it to the letter Z, you should know by now how much I dislike a nag.  You are not a parent, but an equal partner.  Mel and I have an acquaintance that has to correct improper grammar and what she perceives to be wrong pronunciations of words.  We can laugh at it and purposely say things wrong when she is not around, but it is not funny to treat each other in such a manner.  I personally think it is cute when Mel pronounces a word differently.  But then again, who says I am the one who is right?  There have been times I realized I was the one wrong, and I was glad I had zipped my lip.

And a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. Proverbs 19:13 (NIV)

However, do not keep your lips zipped if you ever hear someone talking ill of your honey.  Quickly speak up for one another and never put up with anyone that bad mouths your partner.  Once you speak up for your mate a few times, the offenders will quickly learn to keep negative opinions to themselves.  If not, you may need to limit (or eliminate) time spent with such a disrespectful person.    

But a [discreet] wife is from the Lord.  Proverbs 19:14

Both above scriptures go for husbands as well!

Z End:  Okay, I am cheating on this last word for two reasons.  One is because I cannot think of another Z word.  Two is because I wanted to share my version of a parable with you but did not know where else to fit it!  Anyway, here it is, and though it is written about four wives, it applies to anyone who wants to evaluate their attitude towards their spouse.

The Parable of the Four Wives

One day a newly married husband was given the day off work and decided to spend his time wisely. He loved his wife with all his heart, so he wanted to do something special for her. While she was gone, he decided to clean the house from top to bottom. He felt good that he had done his best to show his love and appreciation for her. When his wife returned home...

a) ...she instantly frowned. Everything he did was wrong. The dishes had not been put away and they would be spotted.  That annoyed her. He left streaks on the windows, as he had not properly wiped the Windex clean. That aggravated her. Worst of all was that the bed was lumpy and uneven. There was no top sheet, and the fitted sheet was crooked and not smoothed out. The bed would have to be re-made before she would ever sleep there.  This really made her steam. In addition, there was dust he missed all over the place, and... While she criticized everything he did wrong and told him it was quicker to let her do it herself, he felt smaller and smaller and knew it would be a very long time before he ever tried to do anything nice for her again. He was glad he had not had time to attempt to cook her favorite dinner as well. They slept with their backs to the other and it was a lonely night and many lonely days long after.

b) ...she was insulted. Didn't he think she was capable of cleaning the house properly? Whom did he think he was acting as if he was a better homemaker than she was? Did she go to his office and try to do his job for him? Next thing she knew, he would be insisting on carrying their first child because she would not be able to do it good enough to please him. When he tried to explain he was not trying to out-do her and was trying to give her a day of rest, she burst into tears and shut herself in the bedroom, refusing to let him in. He spent the night on the couch feeling very beat up and very unloved. From now on, they would just go their separate ways and he would quit trying to understand her life and trying to make it easier. He fell asleep regretting the day he asked her to marry him. 

c) ...she took one look at the neat and shiny clean house and smiled. She gave her husband a quick kiss, said thank you, and then sat down at the computer to check her e-mail. Her husband stood there baffled. He had expected more appreciation, but she did not care. After all, she did this sort of thing all the time. She did not truly appreciate his display of love for her. However, he would again try to find a way to show his love for her. But not today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Or maybe next month would be best. Well, he would have to look at his calendar when he got back to work and see when he could take another day off. Maybe in six months. Maybe for their one-year anniversary.  Maybe.

d) ...she walked through the door and smelled the scent of the dryer and instantly smiled. She knew her husband had tried to help while she was gone. She did not walk through the house inspecting his work or feeling like he was belittling her, nor did she barely notice how hard he worked all day. She recognized that instead of flopping himself down in front of the television or computer on his day off, or hanging out with his buddies, he chose to show his love for her by making her load easier. She threw her arms around his neck and gave him a big hug and a long kiss. She told him how sweet and thoughtful he was. He humbly said it was no big deal because husbands and wives should always work as a team, and he loved helping out. She knew their new marriage was going to be one of harmony and respect. She kissed him again and seductively whispered in his ear what she would like to do for him to show her love for the man she married. They both went to sleep satisfied that night and every night after.

Which type of spouse are you?

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Zip:  Zip your lip to negative words and open it in defense of your mate.  This is not the first time I have suggested these things, and hopefully after a year’s worth of devotionals, you have learned these lessons.  Check your tone throughout the week and stop yourself if your find yourself being critical.  And remember to speak up for your chosen one and do not let anyone get away with harmful words about your mate, no matter who they are!  

    Art Project Idea:  Make a pair of lips out of any type of paper and attach a zipper.  You can either use an actual zipper (this will cost roughly $2.00 if you don’t have a spare one in a sewing kit) or make it out of paper.  If you use a real zipper, you could even make the lips out of cloth and sew it on, or even sew it onto heavy-duty paper.  Whatever type of zipper you choose, make sure it opens and closes.  Outside of the lips (or even on them if you cut them out) write the words something along the line of, “When it comes to being critical, I promise to zip my lips and be considerate.”  On the inside of the lips use words similar to, “But when it comes to standing up for you, I will always unzip my lips and boldly proclaim what a wonderful spouse you are!” 

Z End:  Did you see yourself in any of those examples?  If it was any of the first three, please work hard at adjusting your attitude of gratitude.  You teach your kids to say please, thank you, and you’re welcome, so follow your own example and thank your mate for all he/she does for you.  Learn to focus on the intent of the good works rather than on the outcome.  See the love behind the actions and not the innocent errors you perceive to be mistakes.

What these 52-weeks of devotions boil down to is respecting one another, learning to see things from the point of view of your spouse, and to treat each other as you expect to be treated.  Above all, follow the principles of Jesus Christ, and you will have a joyful marriage!

Live joyfully with the wife [or husband] whom you love all the days of your… life, which He has given you under the sun.  Ecclesiastes 9:9