Week 52: Zip & Z End

 Fun Activity This Week:  Go to the zoo!  No zoo in your area, can’t afford it, or if you just don’t like zoos, then look at photos of many different species of animals in a book or on-line and marvel at the beauty and variety of God’s creation!

Week 52: Zip & Z End

Zip:  Learn to zip your lip when your feel the need to correct your spouse.  Since you have made it to the letter Z, you should know by now how much I dislike a nag.  You are not a parent, but an equal partner.  Mel and I have an acquaintance that has to correct improper grammar and what she perceives to be wrong pronunciations of words.  We can laugh at it and purposely say things wrong when she is not around, but it is not funny to treat each other in such a manner.  I personally think it is cute when Mel pronounces a word differently.  But then again, who says I am the one who is right?  There have been times I realized I was the one wrong, and I was glad I had zipped my lip.

And a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. Proverbs 19:13 (NIV)

However, do not keep your lips zipped if you ever hear someone talking ill of your honey.  Quickly speak up for one another and never put up with anyone that bad mouths your partner.  Once you speak up for your mate a few times, the offenders will quickly learn to keep negative opinions to themselves.  If not, you may need to limit (or eliminate) time spent with such a disrespectful person.    

But a [discreet] wife is from the Lord.  Proverbs 19:14

Both above scriptures go for husbands as well!

Z End:  Okay, I am cheating on this last word for two reasons.  One is because I cannot think of another Z word.  Two is because I wanted to share my version of a parable with you but did not know where else to fit it!  Anyway, here it is, and though it is written about four wives, it applies to anyone who wants to evaluate their attitude towards their spouse.

The Parable of the Four Wives

One day a newly married husband was given the day off work and decided to spend his time wisely. He loved his wife with all his heart, so he wanted to do something special for her. While she was gone, he decided to clean the house from top to bottom. He felt good that he had done his best to show his love and appreciation for her. When his wife returned home...

a) ...she instantly frowned. Everything he did was wrong. The dishes had not been put away and they would be spotted.  That annoyed her. He left streaks on the windows, as he had not properly wiped the Windex clean. That aggravated her. Worst of all was that the bed was lumpy and uneven. There was no top sheet, and the fitted sheet was crooked and not smoothed out. The bed would have to be re-made before she would ever sleep there.  This really made her steam. In addition, there was dust he missed all over the place, and... While she criticized everything he did wrong and told him it was quicker to let her do it herself, he felt smaller and smaller and knew it would be a very long time before he ever tried to do anything nice for her again. He was glad he had not had time to attempt to cook her favorite dinner as well. They slept with their backs to the other and it was a lonely night and many lonely days long after.

b) ...she was insulted. Didn't he think she was capable of cleaning the house properly? Whom did he think he was acting as if he was a better homemaker than she was? Did she go to his office and try to do his job for him? Next thing she knew, he would be insisting on carrying their first child because she would not be able to do it good enough to please him. When he tried to explain he was not trying to out-do her and was trying to give her a day of rest, she burst into tears and shut herself in the bedroom, refusing to let him in. He spent the night on the couch feeling very beat up and very unloved. From now on, they would just go their separate ways and he would quit trying to understand her life and trying to make it easier. He fell asleep regretting the day he asked her to marry him. 

c) ...she took one look at the neat and shiny clean house and smiled. She gave her husband a quick kiss, said thank you, and then sat down at the computer to check her e-mail. Her husband stood there baffled. He had expected more appreciation, but she did not care. After all, she did this sort of thing all the time. She did not truly appreciate his display of love for her. However, he would again try to find a way to show his love for her. But not today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Or maybe next month would be best. Well, he would have to look at his calendar when he got back to work and see when he could take another day off. Maybe in six months. Maybe for their one-year anniversary.  Maybe.

d) ...she walked through the door and smelled the scent of the dryer and instantly smiled. She knew her husband had tried to help while she was gone. She did not walk through the house inspecting his work or feeling like he was belittling her, nor did she barely notice how hard he worked all day. She recognized that instead of flopping himself down in front of the television or computer on his day off, or hanging out with his buddies, he chose to show his love for her by making her load easier. She threw her arms around his neck and gave him a big hug and a long kiss. She told him how sweet and thoughtful he was. He humbly said it was no big deal because husbands and wives should always work as a team, and he loved helping out. She knew their new marriage was going to be one of harmony and respect. She kissed him again and seductively whispered in his ear what she would like to do for him to show her love for the man she married. They both went to sleep satisfied that night and every night after.

Which type of spouse are you?

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Zip:  Zip your lip to negative words and open it in defense of your mate.  This is not the first time I have suggested these things, and hopefully after a year’s worth of devotionals, you have learned these lessons.  Check your tone throughout the week and stop yourself if your find yourself being critical.  And remember to speak up for your chosen one and do not let anyone get away with harmful words about your mate, no matter who they are!  

    Art Project Idea:  Make a pair of lips out of any type of paper and attach a zipper.  You can either use an actual zipper (this will cost roughly $2.00 if you don’t have a spare one in a sewing kit) or make it out of paper.  If you use a real zipper, you could even make the lips out of cloth and sew it on, or even sew it onto heavy-duty paper.  Whatever type of zipper you choose, make sure it opens and closes.  Outside of the lips (or even on them if you cut them out) write the words something along the line of, “When it comes to being critical, I promise to zip my lips and be considerate.”  On the inside of the lips use words similar to, “But when it comes to standing up for you, I will always unzip my lips and boldly proclaim what a wonderful spouse you are!” 

Z End:  Did you see yourself in any of those examples?  If it was any of the first three, please work hard at adjusting your attitude of gratitude.  You teach your kids to say please, thank you, and you’re welcome, so follow your own example and thank your mate for all he/she does for you.  Learn to focus on the intent of the good works rather than on the outcome.  See the love behind the actions and not the innocent errors you perceive to be mistakes.

What these 52-weeks of devotions boil down to is respecting one another, learning to see things from the point of view of your spouse, and to treat each other as you expect to be treated.  Above all, follow the principles of Jesus Christ, and you will have a joyful marriage!

Live joyfully with the wife [or husband] whom you love all the days of your… life, which He has given you under the sun.  Ecclesiastes 9:9

Week 51 Short Video

 

Week 51 Art Project

I chose option #2 for the art project idea this week.  However, I opted not to make the box with an IOU for a lime-zesty meal, I simply made the meal and explained why, which, of course you can also do.  I made green chilies-lime baked chimichangas with homemade cilantro, chilies, and lime sauce.  Very, very yummy!!!!  

Week 51: Zealous & Zest

 

Fun Activity This Week: Show how zealous you are for the Lord by studying the Bible, spending time in prayer, and helping others in the name of Jesus.

Week 51: Zealous & Zest

Zealous:  Being zealous for the things of God will greatly enhance your marriage.  A genuine enthusiasm for a holy life will make your marriage joyful, peaceful, and successful!

Being zealous can include (but is not limited to) hosting and/or attending Bible studies, prayer time, witnessing to others, worshipping the Lord, writing Christian material, passing out tracts, donating time and/or money to charity, and serving others in your own town or another country.  Just simply letting your light shine bright for the Lord through your marriage can also be a huge way to show others you are zealous for the Lord.

     Anytime you include God in your marriage, it will greatly improve it.  Seeking God's will and having a desire to follow Biblical principles will make you want to not only be a better person to please God, but also a better spouse to please your mate.  It is a win-win situation all around!

...be zealous for the fear of the Lord all the day.  Proverbs 23:17

But it is good to be zealous in a good thing always.  Galatians 4:18

Zest:  And having a real zest for each other will make everything about married life that much more enjoyable!  Having a genuine want and need to be with your spouse will make him/her feel loved and desired.  Being excited to see one another and/or scarcely being able to leave the other for even an hour will make your bond unbreakable. 

When Mel and I first started dating, a friend warned me not to get my hopes up that he would be a passionate man. She said there is more to life than passion. True, but my dream man was always a man full of passion. We were both very respectful of each other and did not even have our first kiss until day ten of knowing each other. Keep in mind that we spent nine of those days together for at least eight hours at a time. Even then, it was not until day eleven that I saw that I did not have to have a single worry about Mel being an affectionate man. Mel and I have no problems being affectionate. We try to be respectful in public, but we are so overflowing with love that we cannot help but slip in a kiss here and there. We snuggle and hold hands all the time.

When you are so crazy in love with your spouse, I say, why hide it? There is no shame in holding hands all the time and snuggling together and being mushy. We are still respectful of others and are not lewd, such as sitting on each other's lap, kissing more than a peck, or inappropriately touching in front of other people. It is always good to know where to draw the line and keep private stuff private as God would expect you to behave. For the most part, people smile when they see how much in love we are. We have only gotten a protest or two from those feeling left out. However, we are not going to hide our love under a bushel just because someone else does not understand it or is jealous of us. I love that the majority of people are supportive of us. 

I also love how many people have told us they can see we are a perfect couple and that we are adorable together. One man at our former church even said he wanted to sit in the "romance corner" when he sat next to us at a Thanksgiving dinner held at the church. We are honored that so many people see our zest for each other and are blessed by it. We always want to be a true example of what a real, pure, honest, and respectful love looks like. 

I also love it when people I have known for many years (when I was still single) approach me and tell me they are glad to see me happy. I truly glow with the joy Mel has brought to me! I feel alive for the first time in my life, as if I did not fully live until I met and fell in love with my Mel. It blesses me to know that I shine with love for him. 

Do not be afraid or embarrassed to let your zest for one another be obvious to everyone else. (Again, in an appropriate way.) Don't you love your spouse 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Then let it show all the time. Be a good example of what God has brought together. Do not nag or correct or argue in public as this shows a sign of division. The world is always watching, especially when you claim the title of Christian. With us, we are not phony and what you see is real. I guarantee it will also open up doors to witness to people about Christ. For it has been shown to us repeatedly that even strangers are drawn to us and want to talk to us. So go ahead, glow with love! 

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:

Zealous: To show you are zealous love for the Lord, spend an extra few minutes each day in prayer, praise, and Bible study.  Even if you are already doing these things, add a few extra minutes this week.  As much as possible, do all these things together as a couple.

Zest:  When I think of the word zest, two things come to mind: soap and the zest of lemons or limes.  To show your zest for your mate, I have two different ideas; you can choose one or both.

Art Project Ideas:  This project costs money, but the cheapest will cost around $1.00.  Create a small bathtub out of cardboard or paper, or buy a doll-sized one.  Buy a bar of Zest soap (or body wash) and place it in the tub.  If you have room and if you would like to, you can make bubbles out of paper, plastic wrap, or anything else you can think of to fill your tub.  Next, create a sign out of cardboard covered with plain or scrap paper that says something like, “Let’s zestfully have a fun time in the bath (or shower) together.”  Glue the sign to a decorated Popsicle stick and place it in the bathtub.  If you would like, include a bath pouf and/or candles.  You could also make a mini shower with a shower curtain made of fabric or paper if you so choose.

This second idea also costs money, but less than a $1.00 for the cheapest option.  Decorate the outside of a small box (you could even use half or less of an egg carton) with scrapbook paper that has lemons and/or limes on it, draw your own on any kind of paper, or use anything else you can find with lemons and/or limes such as wrapping paper or even a dishtowel.  Place a few lemons and/or limes in the box with the same type of mini sign as described as above that says, “To show my zest for you, let me cook you a special dinner.”  You can include a few recipes for any type of dishes from which your mate can choose, including dessert, or choose for your spouse a specific meal that includes all lemon and/or lime dishes.  You can find many recipes on line if you do not have a cookbook with something that fits this description.

Week 50 Short Video

 

When I made this video a few years ago it was shortly before Thanksgiving. Although I am posting this after Thanksgiving this year, the message still works for the letter Y.

Week 50 Art Project

 

Week 50: Yours & Youthful

Fun Activity This Week: Relive the joys of your youth and have fun!  See also the marriage-enhancing tip for this week.

Week 50: Yours & Youthful

Yours:  When you get married, you belong to one another.  You are accountable to and responsible for one another.  Mel, I am yours, and you are mine. 

Of course, we are not property in the literal sense, but when you take wedding vows before God, you are declaring that you are willing to look out for one another and never betray one another.   

Genesis 2:24 says that we become "one flesh" when we marry, which means we treat our spouses exactly as we would expect to be treated.  If you do not want him using a sarcastic tone with you, then do not use one with him.  If the idea of him cheating on you makes you sick, then why would you ever cheat on him?  I think you get the idea.

The number one most precious gift you have is your salvation, but right behind that is your marriage.  Treat it as you would any other precious item in your life.  Protect and respect what is yours!

My beloved is mine, and I am his.  Song of Solomon 2:16

Youthful:  Since I have fallen in love with Mel, I feel more youthful.  Before I met Mel I used to say I was thirty-nine years old going on seventy; I felt much older than my years.  However, after I met Mel and we fell head over heels in love, I was thirty-nine going on twenty!  The old saying that being in love makes one feel like a kid again really happened with me!  

In spite of the fact that I am actually in worse physical shape since getting married in 2012, I feel as if I am in better mental health since getting married, been in a better mood!  Being in love and being overwhelmingly happy has truly made me feel like a much younger woman.  I thank God for a husband who makes me feel so alive!

Being married means you have an automatic partner to help you get into spiritual as well as physical shape.  You can encourage one another and hold each other accountable. 

When you remind yourselves that you want each other forever, this will motivate you to take good care of yourselves and stay youthful.  Losing weight for health reasons is a better motivator than for vanity’s sake and the end results have to do with being happy not being a certain dress size.  It is painful for me to exercise, but I still try to go for walks with my hubby, even short ones. Staying active sometimes helps to keeps the pain at bay. Sometimes it makes it the pain worse, but I press on anyway because the chance of less pain means more fun with Mel!

You can also stay young at heart by having fun.  Play games together and do not make life all about bills and chores.  Enjoy life as responsible adults but live as kids in your hearts and you will have the best of both worlds!     

Marriage-Enhancing Idea for the Week:  

Yours:  What can you do this week to show your mate you are his and he is yours?

Art Project Idea:  I mentioned Song of Solomon 2:16 above.  If you go back to verse 4 it says, “…his banner over me was love.”  Just as you did in week 42, create another banner.  It can be any shape, and not necessarily like a sports pendant.  Use the words from verse 16 (or you could use verse 4 or both verses); print them out on the computer, embroider them, cut them out of paper, or just hand write them, and place them on your choice of banner.  You could make it out of felt, paper, or cardboard.  My suggestion is to hang this over your bedroom door (inside or out) as a reminder that you belong to one another in every single way!  

Youthful:  Do something together you did as kids.  Skip rocks at the lake, jump in mud puddles, play with silly putty, or anything that makes you laugh and feel young!  We have no children still love playing children’s board games.  A word of caution though, if you are past a certain age, fight the urge to climb a tree again (unless it has a safe ladder and/or is an adult-friendly tree house) or anything else that may cause injury.  A trip to emergency room will cancel out the free-spirited fun you are trying to have!

Week 49 Short Video

 

Week 49 Art Project

 

 

This week's art project for the word "Yen," was to create an invitation for some romantic time.  Here are two examples (the inside is private ;) ).

Week 49: Yen & Yoke

 Fun Activity This Week: Plan a yummy outing full of your favorite foods.  Have a BBQ and/or picnic, even if it’s in your own backyard.  Too cold to enjoy the great outdoors, then set up a picnic atmosphere in the kitchen or living room complete with paper plates, plastic ware, and other items you would bring to a park for a yummy feast (if you can afford them, if not, it really doesn’t matter).  You could even throw a blanket on the bedroom or living room floor and eat in there just for different! However you choose to spend your yummy treats day (it can even just be snacky foods), the point is just to enjoy time together.

Week 49:Yen & Yoke

Yen:  You should have a real yen (urge, desire, longing) to be with your spouse.  The need for independence in marriage causes real problems.  It can lead to feeling isolated from your mate and can even lead to an affair.  There is never any excuse for cheating, so if you feel this way, then please talk things out with your honey.  

It is important to give your spouse room to breathe and not interfere with appropriate friendships and hobbies as long as he/she is not choosing them over you.  However, with that said, striving to be too independent from your spouse is not healthy.  The world and even several Christian marriage ministries say we need to be individuals in our marriages, and we should not be clingy to our mates.  Yes, we are individuals and Mel and I fully respect that concept, but we are one flesh, and we hate being separated from one another.  If we are apart for more than an hour or less, we miss each other.  This is actually a healthier way to be and needing to be near your soulmate is more beneficial than the need to be away from him/her.

I hope you have a sincere yen to want to be with your mate.  If you both have the same hours free, why would you spend those separated?  Why would you not spend time playing games, have a Bible study together, or have intimate time when you are both available?  You can spend time with friends and hobbies as well, but the majority of your time should be devoted to the one you chose to marry.  Your number one desire should be for your mate, not for your buddies or hobbies.  

My beloved put his hand by the latch of the door, and my heart yearned for him.  Song of Solomon 5:4

Yoke:   II Corinthians 6:14 tells us not to be “unequally yoked together with unbelievers,” but what if the unbeliever is your spouse?

I know I have used these verses in other chapters, but it is very fitting for this week’s theme as well:

Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed.  I Corinthians 7:10-16 & 27

Also consider:

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.  I Peter 3:1-2 (NIV)

If you are currently unequally yoked with an unbeliever, it is clear that the Lord does not expect you to get a divorce, but just the opposite.  Live your life by a good example, and you very well may lead your mate to Christ.  Do not be a nag when it comes to differing beliefs because that will just drive a deeper wedge between you.  Stand firm in your faith and do not compromise in your love for the Lord (one of the few areas I would suggest not practicing the art of compromise).   Most importantly, do not give up praying for him/her.  There have been many instances where the believer’s kindness and patience paid off, and their loved one eventually became a Christian as well.  Unless your partner is doing something immoral, illegal, or causing you and/or your children harm (in which cases, divorce is acceptable), stick to your wedding vows and follow the principles of the Bible to be type of spouse God wishes you to be.    

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Yen:  Show your mate that you have a real yen for him/her.  Send your mate a creative invitation for some spicy romance.  If your spouse works outside the home, consider mailing him the invitation to his/her job, but first make sure no one else (such as a secretary) opens the mail!  You could also slip it in a lunch bag or briefcase, but make sure he is the only one with access to these things.  If you leave first or if your mate stays at home, leave the invitation on a pillow when you leave the house.  You could buy a generic invitation and add your own words or:

Art Project Option: When you create your invitation for sex, make it seem like a special occasion, and be creative with it.  One of the best times to create an invitation is if it has been more than a week since your intimate time due to illness, time of the month, or other reasons, and you are both anticipating a time you can be closer again.  Make your invitation specific to the two of you and be as creative as you can to show your mate how much you yen for him/her! 

Yoke:  If you are unequally yoked with your mate, do not give up praying for him/her!  Continue to be a witness without being a self-righteous or judgmental nuisance that only pushes your loved one farther away from the things of God.  Also, if you have not done so in a while, consider inviting him/her to church this week, and/or offer to pray for your mate’s specific prayer requests (silently or out loud, it is up to you) to show your love and compassion for his/her needs.  If it would not cause dissention, consider hosting or leading a Bible study group at your home for a few weeks or months (even if it is for youth or a gender-specific group) as your mate may be more likely to attend (or at least overhear) what it being taught in the safety and privacy of his/her own home.