Week 36: Restore & Roam

Fun Activity This Week: Have an evening full of your favorite romantic things. Based on what is in your budget, include flowers, a nice meal (in or out), dressing up (even if staying home), candles, making love, etc.  Do not rush through the evening but take the time to focus on each other.  This is especially important if you are struggling in your marriage as you can rekindle what you think you may have lost.  Even if your marriage is in great shape, have a day or night full of your romantic favorites throughout the year.

Week 36: Restore & Roam

Restore:  Most marriages can be restored with God's help.  Do not give up on yours.  Whatever you are facing in your marriage, God wants to see you try to make it work.  There are some cases where you should not only leave your marriage behind, but probably have criminal charges pressed as well.  However, I am not talking about cases of physical or sexual abuse.  So many marriages break up rather than bothering with counseling because they do not like the idea of a stranger being involved in their personal business.  Yet, if you truly love your spouse, why wouldn't you do whatever is necessary to save your marriage?  

For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts.  Malachi 2:16

God gives us permission to divorce in cases of infidelity (And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.  Matthew 19:9) but does not command you must get a divorce under such circumstances.  That is up to you if you want to seek forgiveness and try to restore your marriage.  However, I would strongly recommend counseling as many who commit adultery do so more than once.  Sincere repentance and actively seeking a holy life (removing oneself from the paths of temptation) are what are required to restore the marriage after such betrayal.  A recovering alcoholic avoids a bar so he is not tempted to drink.  In the same manner a person prone to sexual immorality must avoid being alone with the opposite sex (even over the telephone and the computer) under all circumstances.  

Even if you and your partner are in different spiritual stages, this is not an excuse to walk away.  Carefully consider the below scriptures.  It tells us to stay with our spouses and lead as an example by our walk with God.  So do not give up on restoring your marriage.

Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? I Corinthians 7:10-16

Roam:  Time spent roaming the road with your spouse can be a wonderful bonding experience.  I know in tough financial times that even money for gas is not always easy to come by.  So yes, it takes gas money, but also an adventurous and creative spirit.  

However, you do not have to roam far.  Mel and I try to go for a nice drive just to get out of the house around once a month.  Or sometimes we just walk around the neighborhood when we are low on gas.  Just a quick trip to the next town or to a nearby park can be enough to make you feel better with a change of scenery.  If you can afford it, pack a picnic, or go through a drive-through or gas station and grab some snackie foods for fun.  If you are night owls as we are, the good news in that many drive-through windows have inexpensive deals after 8:00 p.m. and are usually open 24/7.  

If you want to really de-stress, find a dark and quiet place to park and make out.  Just be careful where you park as a sheriff’s deputy once approached Mel and me late at night because we parked too close to a farmer's field, and we were trespassing.  Oops!  It was funny and the deputy was very nice about it.  I think he was amused, especially when we said we were a married couple just having some PG-rated fun.  This is a good reminder not to get too carried away in your vehicle as you never know who is watching and certain things are illegal in public!

If you have the money to roam beyond your own county and/or state, please take the time to do so.  Mel and I are usually on a tight budget, but we still manage to travel in our own state.  We save up and have even sold items to make all this possible, as we both love seeing what else is out there.  We have always enjoying exploring and roaming our home state!   

As I mentioned at the beginning of this section, traveling is a great bonding experience. Mel and I took our first road trip together just a little over a month after we met.  It made us fall in love that much more.  I am not recommending overnight trips for non-married people as this would be too much of a temptation; Mel and I only went on day trips together before we were married.

There is something special about looking up a place to visit, plotting a path on a map, and enjoying the open road; it truly makes you feel closer to your spouse.  Roaming the roads is a great stress reliever and great way to feel even more connected!

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:  

Restore:  If your marriage needs restoration, take as much time as you need to talk things through.  Stay up all night if need be, or take a break and continue the conversation over several days until you can work things out.  Consider seeking an unbiased Christian counselor to whom you can talk.  

Art Project Idea:  As you did for week 4, create a word poem.  This time use the letters in the word RESTORATION or RESTORE.  You can use the simple one I wrote, or write your own personalized version.  You can make the letters out of patterned paper, or use stencils, or even simply type it and print it out.  If you have problems in your marriage, hang this where it can be a daily reminder that your marriage is fixable.  Here is the one I wrote.  It’s not really a poem, but each letter is advice meant to inspire restoration.

Rejoice that the Lord is in control.

Enjoy one another’s company. 

Say "I love you" often.

Turn off electronic entertainment & talk.

Ogle one another and flirt.

Read your Bible.

Always be ready to forgive as well as apologize.

Truthfully bare your heart and show your feelings.

Initiate affection and do not shy away from what is offered.

Observe each other’s needs and help out.

Never give up!

Roam:  Find a special place you both want to roam, and start planning and saving this week.  In the meantime, take at least one day this week to roam out of your city (it does not have to be some place new).  Drive to the next city or county and explore a little.  Buy or make some yummy treats for the car trip and have fun!