Fun Activity This Week: Make a snowman together. Okay, so I realize this is being posted in September, so how are you supposed to make a snowman now? This is one you can save for later, or you can be creative with this idea. You can make the snowman out of paper, clay, sand, or even marshmallows. The idea is to have fun together creating a snowman (or woman or any creature) as a team!
Week 38: Spiritual Leader & Support
Spiritual Leader: Husbands, you should take the reigns as the spiritual leader of the family. Wives, you should let him lead and respect him as the head of the household. The husband does not always have to be the one to initiate prayer, worship, or Bible study, but let him lead prayer time and choose which subjects you will be studying. Mel usually opens our prayer time, then I pray a closing. When deciding which book of The Bible to study next, I always let Mel choose, but, since he is a good husband, he always asks for my opinion. We take turns reading the scriptures (or listen to an audio version not produced by Hollywood), and we discuss together our feelings on what was read. See Ephesians 5:22-24. Of course, if your husband is practicing a false religion and/or is not a true Christian, then this is a different issue that I will not address this week. I will cover more about unequally yoke spouses when we get to the letter Y.
I know this is neither a modern nor a popular concept, but it is a Biblical one. Allowing the husband to be the leader in all things is the best way to keep peace. I have written on this many times; I repeat myself because it the key to a successful and happy marriage. If there is constant strife over who is in charge, your marriage can never be a happy one. Just as jobs, cities, states, and countries all have a leader in order to hopefully keep chaos at bay (some leaders cause the chaos, but I digress), so should a marriage have a leader. Of course, we all know that there are a lot of bad bosses and leaders out there. Any man who misuses these verses is not, in my opinion, a good husband. There are also many dictatorial husbands that abuse the concept of Ephesians 5, which is why one must read the entire section in context. See also Ephesians 5:25-32. It clearly states the husband is to love his wife and take care of her as he would himself. That does not describe a bully. Also, it says the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, and we all know Christ gave His very life for us. If a husband follows the ultimate example, then he will never be a selfish leader.
Marriages are so poorly portrayed in entertainment. Even in so-called Christian movies, the wives are disrespectful, materialistic, boss their husbands around, and dress provocatively. The husbands are wimpy, angry, stand-offish (to their wives, not their buddies), and over-sexed. You very rarely see a marriage portrayed as romantic, loving, healthy, or even faithful. Know why? Because they do not practice the principles of Ephesians 5!
If you are confused at all on this subject or believe that a submissive wife is a negative thing, please continue reading.
When I was single (which was almost 40 years), I used to say I could never be married because there was no way I would submit to any man. I used to see submitting as most people do, as something negative and wimpy. I thought all I ever wanted was to be a strong and independent woman. However, those concepts are overrated! When you find the right man that view changes. Since I absolutely have the right man, I do not want to be independent, I fully love being dependent on Mel. In addition, I am a million times stronger with a supportive, wonderful husband by my side than I ever was as a single woman. I am still an individual, but, as cliché as this sounds, since I got married, I feel complete. Loving Mel makes me want to be a wife that honors and respects his opinions. I have changed the way I do several things based on Mel’s beliefs because He is a Godly man firmly grounded in God’s Word. Mel would never be a bully or demand I change for him. He loves me just as I am. When I choose to change a certain belief, he even tells me I do not have to change just to make him happy. Frankly, I would never have fallen in love with an antagonist, and Mel is the opposite of that word. He is considerate and thoughtful of my feelings and convictions. I submit to my husband out of the purest and strongest form of love I have ever known. It is actually very easy. His opinion is a precious gem to me, and I crave it. My number one goal in life is to make God happy and to be a woman after God’s heart, but my number two goal is to please my husband and bring him honor.
Submitting to your husband as the spiritual leader does not mean you have no opinion or that you are spineless. It means you have a loving husband you want to make happy, and you have no problem compromising and bending your beliefs to match his (as long as they are Biblical). It also does not mean being phony, but truly examining his beliefs. If you do not 100% agree on an issue, it does NOT mean you have to change. A good husband will discuss and even debate lovingly (if you so choose) with you as mine does. He is open to change as well. Thankfully, Mel and I have not had any major issues come up where we are not in complete agreement. We disagreed about extremely little in the beginning, and the more we are together, I do not know that we have any serious areas on which we differ. That is how I know we are the perfect match. God truly granted me the gift of a kindred spirit, a soul mate, and a best friend.
Support: No matter what our mate is going through we must be our honey’s support system. I know I have written about this before, but this week I am writing from the view based on Job's wife. Hopefully you're all familiar with the story, but here is a very brief sum-up. Because Job was “blameless and upright, and one who feared God and shunned evil,” (Job 1:1) God allowed Satan to tempt Job to fall. Job suffered many trials including the death of his children, livestock, and the majority of his staff, and boils on his body (see Job chapters 1-2). His friends were not much comfort, and his wife was just as bad. In Job 2:9, she taunts, "Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!"
Let us never be this kind of spouse. Our responsibility is to encourage our mate, no matter what he/she is going through. Hold each other and let him/her cry on your shoulder. Read scripture verses and pray together. Whenever one of us is feeling down, the other will suggest, "Let's pray," and we will pray for peace and comfort. That is how we should be to our partners. Hold hands and pray, no matter what time of night and no matter how exhausted you both are, or even if you are annoyed with one another (praying will also help ease tensions between you). Remind each other of God's amazing love and of all He has done. Know what your spouse’s favorite scripture verses are and quote them often.
When your loved one is discouraged, please do not tell him/her to "curse God" or to give up. Help your mate and lift him/her up. Make each other feel loved and comforted even when it seems darkest. Remind him/her how much you adore each other and will always be there, no matter what the circumstance. You will walk through fire with him/her and live in a tent if need be. You will never abandon one another and will always be right by his/her side. And most of all, tell your spouse to bless God and live!
Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:
Spiritual Leader: Wives, are there any areas where you are resisting allowing your husband to be the spiritual leader? Husbands, are you dragging your feet to lead? This week have the husband start prayer times and choose the Bible study subjects.
Art Project Idea: Use these words from Colossians 3:18-19 to make any type of art project you choose (You could also choose the words from Ephesians 5:22-33, but this is a shorter version saying the same thing.). My suggestion, since this week is about remembering to allow the hubby to be the spiritual leader, make a bookmark with these words. That way, whenever you read your Bible alone or together, you will be reminded of the best way to make your marriage a joyful one! If not making a bookmark, be sure to hang these words wherever you see them daily.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Colossians 3:18-19
Support: No matter what negative circumstances your spouse may be facing this week, be there for each other. Do not make his/her pain about placing blame. If it is an area that requires professional help, offer to go together and be a support as needed.
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