Fun Activity This Week: Start a planning and saving for a fun vacation! It can be in your own state or another country, but set goals (for example, within 6 months, a year, or even five years), and do you best to stick with your plans.
Week 43: Victory & Virtuous
Victory: Claim the victory in Jesus' name for whatever circumstances you are facing. I cannot stress enough that in times of personal or marital crisis trust that God has your best interest in mind. Believe that God can heal and restore you and/or your marriage. Do not give up!
In the past, Mel and I were "scolded" by a friend trying to place us under unjustified condemnation. This person kept telling us that the tough situations we were facing were God's punishment. Let me assure you that, while God does chasten those he loves (Hebrews 12:7), His desire is that we prosper (Jeremiah 29:11). By this I mean physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually, not always financially. When things go wrong or seem to take a long time to be resolved, it could simply be a timing issue. That does not mean that we should fail in examining our lives to see what may need to be cleansed and assure our actions are not blocking our prayers (as I stated in week 23), but God is a loving God and longs to bless His children. Mel and I waited more than four years to move near the ocean and be free from the oppressive price we paid for rent. During those long years of financial struggle, we daily examined our lives, and when we felt the Holy Spirit’s correction, we worked hard at changing where He prompted. Let me point out that if we ever are financially secure, that does not mean that we will cease to ask for God’s continual guidance in our daily walk with Him, and we indeed still seek His holy face no matter what we are going through.
If you are facing tough times, let me give you some encouraging words from one of my favorite verses. It is difficult to put into words just how amazing these verses are. We see here how the three, which are one, work together on our behalf. Jesus himself prays for us with the aid of the Holy Spirit based on God's will for our lives.
Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Romans 8:26-28 & 34
Let us then follow the example of Jesus and practice interceding for each other and pray for whatever victory is needed individually and especially as a couple.
Virtuous:
Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10
This is my description of what I feel the concept of a virtuous spouse (not just a wife but a husband also) should be. I am going to be literal, use the definitions from dictionary.com, and then expand from there.
1) Moral excellence; goodness; righteousness. This is a good start. Obviously, "no one is good but One, that is God," (Matthew 19:17), but we should strive for righteousness, or living right. To live a life set apart and holy (Romans 12:1-2 & II Corinthians 6:17). I know I have said it before, but my number one goal in life is to please God and be a woman after His own heart, but my number two goal will always be to bring my husband honor by living a life that will never shame him. I want to please Mel by being a wife that tries her best to live according to God's laws. A spouse of virtue strives to bring his/her partner honor by living a pure life.
2) Conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles; uprightness; rectitude. I am going to expand on the conformity issue. There have been very few areas where I have changed my point of view since I married Mel. This is because, as I mentioned before, we saw and still see life pretty much the exact same way and there has been little to adjust. The most important thing I wanted in a husband was that our religious beliefs were the same. I hate the term "religion," but we are identical in our spiritual thought patterns. I will say, when a certain issue came up early in our marriage, Mel lovingly pointed out to me that God never changes and, in human terms, is very old-fashioned. Keep in mind, he is not a demanding husband, and merely makes respectful suggestions. I have no problem conforming to my husband's beliefs (as long they are Biblical), as he is a Godly man and never a suppressive bully. I conform because I love him so deeply and trust him to look out for my best interests. A virtuous woman trusts her husband as her head and conforms when necessary and a virtuous husband will be respectful and not be a bully.
3) Chastity; virginity: to lose one's virtue. I was indeed a virgin on my wedding night. Let me tell you how very happy I am that Mel is the only man to whom I gave myself. It is such an intimate, bonding, beautiful, pleasurable experience. I am beyond grateful Mel will be the only man with whom I will ever have such experiences. So, if any non-marrieds read this, please stay pure until you marry. No matter how old you are, it will be worth the wait. If you have made mistakes, God forgives, and so will a loving husband, but please do not stay living in sin. And for the marrieds: please save sex for only your spouse. There is never any excuse to cheat. Sex is sacred. Marriage is sacred. A spouse of virtue gives his/her body only to his/her mate.
4) A particular moral excellence. I will say it again, no one is perfect, but the goal as a spouse of virtue is to strive to live a life of "moral excellence." How do we excel at anything? Practice, study, learn, and grow. In other words, read The Bible, know the laws of Jesus, and follow them. Know the character of Christ and make it your goal to imitate it. Avoid temptations and cling to your honey. Have amazing communication with your spouse every single day. Talk about every issue you can think of and know where you both stand on every issue. Keep each other accountable. God is your number one source, but use your spouse is your number two moral compass. Hopefully he/she is your spiritual leader as Mel is for me. Follow each other’s good examples and ask him/her to help you as well. A virtuous spouse seeks out excellence in his/her marriage and in his/her walk with God.
5) A good or admirable quality or property: the virtue of knowing one's weaknesses. I have so many weaknesses I cannot count them all. Mel and I know that, though we are perfect for each other, we are not perfect people. I am not going to be self-deprecating and list all my faults, but I know what work I need to do in my life. I know where I need to change. Most of us usually do, even when we do not want to admit it. Pray the prayer, "Change my heart oh, God, make it ever new," or "Create in me a clean heart, oh God and renew a right spirit within me." Also, be ready for the honest discussions with your spouse and ask him/her to lovingly but honestly tell you where he/she thinks you need improvement. Ask your partner to help you with areas you feel you need help. Self-examination and a loving hand from your soul mate will help you become a more virtuous spouse.
Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week:
Victory: Pray without ceasing (I Thessalonians 5:17) for one another and for whatever issue is troublesome and claim the victory in Jesus’ name!
Art Project Idea: Two great scripture verses on victory are: Matthew 12:20, “A bruised reed He will not break, And smoking flax He will not quench, Till He sends forth justice to victory.” and I Corinthians 15:57, “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” I realize the second verse has to do with victory over death, but you can still apply it to this week’s art project. Choose one or both of the above verses and write or computer print them out. You can mount them on scrapbook paper and frame them and/or add a photograph or symbol of an instance where you and your spouse were (or even need to be) victorious. Hang this where you can be reminded that Jesus is Lord of all, and He cares for Your needs and will always help you claim the victory in His name (as long as it is within His will).
Virtuous: Reread the definition of virtue and see where what positive qualities you can identify in your mate. Write him/her a letter and thank your sweetie for being a man or woman or virtue.
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