Week 44: Vivacious & Vows

 

 Fun Activity This Week:  If you wrote your own wedding vows and still have copies of them, read them to each other again and recommit to those promises.  If you did not write vows then, consider writing them now.  Or if you have been married for a while, you may have a better understanding of married life and be able to better write wedding vows than what you wrote when you were still single.  Therefore, you may consider writing new ones and making all new promises that may be more relevant to your life today. 

Week 44: Vivacious & Vows

Vivacious:  Do not be a sour Sue or grouchy Gus, but be vivacious, bubbly, and full of energy for your spouse.  I know some days can be long and frustrating things happen, but do not take it out on your spouse.  If you see your mate is having a bad day, make a joke out of it and to try to make him/her smile.  Tell your honey he/she needs to change his/her grouchy pants for happy pants.  I am NOT suggesting that you demean what your loved one is feeling, if something serious is going on, he/she needs your prayers and understanding, not your jokes.  I am suggesting lightening the mood when you can tell your mate is grouchy due to a minor incident or just woke up that way. 

If you work and/or have children, I am sure your energy levels are not always up, and that is perfectly okay.  Sex is not always an option, but romance is not only about sex.  Taking the time to snuggle in each other arms feels wonderful and does not have to lead to anything more unless you want it to. 

Being vivacious can simply mean greeting your mate with a sweet smile and kiss every morning and each time you are reunited.  It can mean having a good attitude and sharing a friendly cup of coffee or tea while engaging in lively conversation.  Doing your best to be in a good mood will make you feel better.  Even if you start pretending to smile, you will feel better, and your smile will become sincere.  As I do not believe in being phony with your mate, I am NOT suggesting you fake a good mood, since that equivalent to being a liar; I am suggesting that, instead of giving into a foul mood, put on your happy pants and choose joy!  

Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!  Philippians 4:4

Vows:  We are in this marriage for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, and for better or worse.  Forever means forever.  

Whether you have said them yourself or heard them spoken, I think pretty much everyone knows the traditional wedding vows.  When Mel and I got married, we wrote our own vows as well as saying the standard ones (I will post our vows when I post the art project later this week).  We took every single word we vowed as a promise forever.  What we did NOT say was that we would only love each other and be kind to each other when things are all sunny and rosy.  We never said we would be rude to each other if our bank account showed a balance of less than $1.  We never said we would refuse to make love when we had no heat in our house. We never said we would turn our back if the other was frustrated, sad, scared, or lacking faith.  We never said we would laugh at the other's mistakes.  We never said we would refuse to listen to a concern spoken more than once.  Moreover, we absolutely never said we would file for divorce if we were behind on bills, and we thought we would be better off alone. 

What we promised was that we would love, support, cherish, and adore each other no matter what the circumstance!  We would hold each other, pray together, forgive, and not judge.  I have seen couples use adversity as an excuse for pushing the other away and even going as far as divorce.  In their warped mind, they had fewer problems when they were single and foolishly think their life will improve if they go backwards.  I have said it before, God hates divorce.  (see Malachi 2:16 & Matthew 19:1-9)

Even when we are facing tough times, Mel and I are kind to each other, madly in love, and full of joy in our marriage. Moreover, we truly trust we are in God's hands. It is normal in life to experience a little or a lot of stress. It is also normal for faith to suffer a little or a lot when frustrated. Prayer really helps, especially when praying together.  

I encourage you to focus on your vows when circumstances are getting you down.  They were not said in vain; they were a solid promise spoken before God.  I know I have said it many times before, God is your number one source of happiness and your spouse is your number two, not someone or something else.  Stick to and with one another; do not run away.  As I have also said before, two are better than one and you can face things head on so much better hand-in-hand than being at odds with the other.  Take it from someone who was single for nearly forty years, it is so much better to share the burden with your spouse than to face the tough times alone.  So do not use any crisis as an excuse to run away emotionally or physically.  I cannot say it enough, cling to your spouse, and trust God will take care of you both!      

Marriage-Enhancing Ideas for the Week: 

Vivacious:  When you find yourself feeling grouchy for no real reason or minor issues, remind yourself of all you have to be grateful for. This practice alone can help put things in perspective. Do not take your hard days out on your mate but talk things through. Depression can be a real medical issue, so seek professional help if you simply are not able to shake the blues. Praise God for the good things in life and you will find being vivacious is easier than you think!

Vows: If you wrote your own wedding vows and still have copies of them, read them to each other again and recommit to those promises.  If you did not write vows then, consider writing them now.  Or if you have been married for a while, you may have a better understanding of married life and be able to better write wedding vows than what you wrote when you were still single.  Therefore, you may consider writing new ones and making all new promises that may be more relevant to your life today. 

I know this is a repeat of the “Fun Activity Idea” for this week because I truly believe this is a wonderful way to enhance your marriage.  Don’t be surprised as you reread your vows and look into each other's eyes that you may see tears, as well as tear up yourself!)

Art Project Option:  As I suggested making a collage of marriage prayers in week 32, you could do the same this week with your wedding vows.  If you do not have personal vows and neither of you chooses to write them, just print the traditional version and paste them in your frame instead.